Monday, August 31, 2009

Weekend ReCap

Friday

Took the day off from work and headed to the last wedding of the season in Columbus WI. I didn't have very high hope since I was a little hung over from Thursday night kickball and was just exhausted but hey when we get it hot we get it hot and it was a blast:)

Saturday

Got a ride back to the City and slept all day.

Sunday

Went for a couple walks.

Watched Cadillac Record thought it was pretty good.

Did nothing and it was great:)

Friday, August 28, 2009

Pinnacle of Human Experience?

When ever you see a bucket list or hear people talk of taking risks and living life to the fullest with no boundaries it is usually coupled with an image of skydiving for some reason.

Why is this so often the pinnacle of human experience?

Why is this the most sought after image of life's vitality?

Don't get me wrong it is fun.

But if this is the pinnacle of human experience then I want my money back...

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Velvet Groove

The velvet groove...when you are in a rut that is comfortable finding the means to escape it and look for new opportunities can be challenging.

Overcoming the inertia to do more, try more can be over whelming.

I am in the velvet groove and I need to get out.

But it is just so velvety

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Fighting the Man - F U Eau Claire Wisconsin

Can I get a big FUCK YOU to Eau Claire Wisconsin

Situation: I was a party in a bar in downtown Eau Claire Wisconsin about a month ago. I walked out onto the street to wait for my taxi carrying a plastic cup from inside the bar.
A cop pulled up and asked where we were from. Always a red flag. Law should never be dependent on where someone is from. It should be applied evenly but that is beside the point.

I was given a $211.00 ticket for an open container on a public street.

WTF?

I am 30+ years old minding my own business responsibly waiting for a taxi on a public street.

He did not even smell the drink to see if there was alcohol in it.

Set to drive to court today I called and talk to the DA who said I could come and plead not guilty and they would set another court date.

So to fight a $211.00 ticket I would need to take 2 days off of work drive a total of 8 hours.

Pissed.

It is not like speeding where I will accept a ticket willing cause the signs are posted and you ignore them or follow them at your own apparel.

But how can you enforce a law that a reasonable person would not even know exists?

How many places is it illegal to have a plastic cup filled with a beverage on the streets?

Especially if it is not liquor?

I would like to say F you to Eau Claire and the 18 year old prick cop who gave me that ticket. I will never stop in your city again, not for food, not for gas, not to any of your crappy attractions. For anyone of my friends who are planning future weddings or parties there I will not be coming.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Invention #254123 - Toilet\ Bathroom Redesign

In my opinion there is a serious design flaw that exists in almost every bathroom.

The placement of the exhaust fan.

The fan is usually placed above the toilet in the ceiling. The problem here is that gas that is being generated by your butt has to travel up past your nose to escape, it is also traveling through a narrow slit in your legs. A narrow slit that also holds your goods

If you can image for a second a grill. You place wood chips on a grill and put the lid on to give it that smoky flavor. Open the vent a little so some of the smell can escape and the taste can seep right into your food.

You toilet is a lot like a grill. And your feces and gas is a lot like wood chips.

But is that really the flavor you want seeping into your junk?

The design I would like to see is some kind of vacuum system that exists inside the toilet that would suck the gas and fowl odor down and away from the goods hence preserving their freshness. This vacuum could even be powered by a little green turbine that produces and stores power as the flushing motion spins its rotors.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Weekend ReCap

Friday

Tailgate for Happy Hour

Cocktails @ Home Followed by a Ping Pong Tourney @ the Neighbors house....

Saturday

Homework

Grocery shopping

Twins Game

Sunday

Some yard work

Made spring rolls :) Yum Em

Walked around lake Nokomis

Twins Game

Relaxed:)

Kind of a low key weekend but just what the doctor ordered.

Friday, August 21, 2009

"Cyclists"

It is kind of like rock, paper, scissors except it is a little game played Car, Bike, Pavement....car always wins. It is nothing personal it is physics thing.

Maybe if bikers had to watch videos of heads exploding under the weight of tires they would be a little less cocky.

I can appreciate your life style choice I really can, it is just the self righteousness sense of entitlement that seems to come with it I have a problem with.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Offical End of Summer - For Me

This week marks the offical end of summer for me. School is starting again. So is fall league for kickball and if those aren't the two sure fire signs that summer is over I don't know what is.

This is kind of coming as a relief...

Don't get me wrong I had a blast this summer, it just that it was really busy and I am looking forward to a little down time.

Little recharging of the batteries on my couch, in front of a fire, with a good book, bottle of wine and a lovely partner.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Take Out

Sunday I was hung over and jonesing for some kung pao chicken. Being disheveled and unshowered for two days I narrowed my options down to a few dives I have wanted to try.

I settled on some joint on Nicollet and 48th street and walked in.

The first thing I noticed is that all Chinese restaurants seem to have the same food pictures on the wall. Like they are all owned by some single person with just varying names in the titles of the stores. It started to feel like a conspiracy but I slowly got past that and began small talk with the woman at the counter.

I left impressed, not with the food which was average at best but with the spirit of the place.

Here was a group of people who immigrated to the United States can barley speak English and they are owning and operating their own business. Why am I so scared to do the same? I think having lost everything and having fought to survive the aftermath has made me risk adverse which is a problem since I know to achieve the kind of success that I want I can't be in that mind set.

How do I get past that point of fear?

TBD

Monday, August 17, 2009

Weekend Recap

Friday

Congratulations MB and AH on your engagement:)

Rooftop of Solera

Chambers Gorilla Bar for some dancing with myself:)

Saturday

Worked

Napped

Searched for my Car

Had a nice little fiesta

Sunday

Slept off two days worth of hangovers

Dropped off Willy and Harleigh

Had some Chinese

Ended night with Sangria and my beautiful girlfriend

Friday, August 14, 2009

Remember the Abacus

I was typing a report of technical implementation we are doing at work and suddenly I found it odd that I am using all of this technology to record something using these letters. A system of communication although evolved that has been around for thousands of years.

I thought of the abacus of roman numerals I thought of the archaic systems we had to put to rest in order to progress.

I wonder if the same thing will ever happen with written language.

Some other way of communicating, of leaving a record, of passing on information that will supplant these measly letters.

Perhaps in a You-Tube, Voice Search activated world these feeble markings will disappear in the fog of memory just like the abacus

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Four Boxes of Liberty

There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, and ammo. If we are serious about the cause of freedom and defense against tyranny in this world we would be well to be reminded they should be used in that order.

This blog is my soap box.

Chances are if you are reading this you have your own soap box.

Billions of soap boxes around the planent.

Sometimes I like to imagine all of the posts that have ever been writen printed and staples to the trees in our citys center.

Imagine the power of that message, the power of the human thought translated via digital signals.

The blog.

The modern day bullhorn.

Your microphone turned on to the billion people online everyday.

What do you say?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

What Am I?

Not a hipster....

Not a tool....

Not a cheese dick...

Not a manly man...

Not a metro sexual...

Not a gangster...

Not a hippie...

Not a yuppie...

What am I? Some monstrous combination of all of the above?

Maybe I am one of those things but I just think I am different and special...just like everybody else.

Time for a 360 blogger feedback....

I think Brian in Minneapolis is most like the stereotype of a _________________.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Thou shall not kill?

One of the most prominent arguments that pro-life people advocate comes from the old testament in the form of one of the commandments givens to moses, "Thou Shall Not Kill." It is argued as a hard and fast rule that we should not have abortions because abortions are killing.

People who use this argument and refer to it as hard and fast are taking it out of context or ignoring the surrounding texts of the old testament.

For example Evil Bible saved the the trouble of compiling my own list where killing is actually encouraged.

Here are a few of my my top ordained massacres in the old testament.

1.) For the right to purchase his wife(the price is 200 human foreskins), King David kills 200 Philistines. (I Samuel)

2.) Elijah with gods help of course burns 102 religious leaders to death. (2 Kings)

3.) 42 kids made fun of Elishas baldness so he convinces God to send two bears to kill them. (2 Kings)

So as you can see thou shall not kill isn't really a hard and fast rule...more of a general guideline you should follow until the voices in your head tell you something different.

So next time a pro-lifer tells you that though shall not kill, tell them to go back and read a little bit more.

If they tell you that the new testament overwrites the old testament tell them to point you to the section in the new testimate were it says do not kill.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Gaining from Experience

"Provided he has the capacity to learn from them, the wisest person in the room is usually the one who has made the most mistakes."

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Weekend ReCap

Thursday

Drove to Wautoma and had Shorty and Wags seasoned chicken wings in the heart of Wiso

Friday

Drove to Madison - had a cocktail at the Great Dane

Headed over to a rehearsal dinner at Allen Centennial Gardens UW Campus

Headed to Quaker Steak and Lube for some Wings

Drank a half bottle of vodka at the hotel room:)

Much love to Quality Inn - Fitchburg probably one of the best hotel staff's that has ever existed.

Saturday

Mafia Wars:)

Went to the Wedding & Reception - JS and Now JS thanks for having me...lol and Congratulations.

Ran into a lot of people at the Great Dane thanks for all of the drinks I love you guys.

Must have had a great time since I lost my shirt, woke up with my eyelid spit open and had a wicked burn on my arm..lol

Sunday

Drove home and was out of it for the rest of the day.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Sorry Guys...

Anyone who knows me knows I am notorious for not answering my phone.

1.) I am partially deaf so if it is in another room I just don't hear it.

2.) My stucco house has really crappy reception

3.) I usually have it on vibrate but then tend to take it out of my pocket alot so it makes it a moot point.

Some where over the last few days - (must have been drinking heavily if you can believe that)

I changed my voice mail message to say...

"Sorry I can't come to the phone... I am too busy waiting for you to die....so can you please get on with it"

Missed calls included....

My school rep
My mother
My grandmother
A co-worker

and

One of my bosses....

I need to have someone start taking my phone from me after the 3rd cocktail....lol

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Emotional Bowel Movement

A lot of people I know look at a Pollack painting and see a bunch of colors thrown on a canvass and quib that their four year old could do that. I look at them and and I see an emtional bowel movement. Feeling expessed in color balanced with a perspective that only life and experience can define for you. How is your emotional stoll? How do you deal with the constipation and diareha of the mind?

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Blog Grave Yards

Blog Grave Yard

So I was going through my Google reader today and I noticed that 129 of the 183 blogs that I used to follow are no longer active or have gone private. Disappeared to the blog grave yard. This kind of made me sad. I wonder what the life expectancy for a blog is or should be? Is there a point when you just take it out in the back yard and put it down?

I guess I need some good new blogs to read looking for a variety of blogs to replace some of my reading list that is no longer active.

Do you know any light hearted or thinking blogs, people that talk about innovation or inspire you to look at the world a little bit differently?

If you do send me some links...

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Spoon Fed Statistics

How often do you use a spoon compared to a knife and fork?

My breakdown over the last 7 days

Spoon - 9 times (7 to measure coffee, 1 to stir noodles, one to eat soup)

Fork - 18 times

Knife - 14 times

I use a fork twice as much as a spoon. I was told that this is directly related to my aversion to dairy and I am so much lower then normal since I don't eat ice cream or cereal, but I still have to call bullshit.

The spoon is the least used utensil and I am hoping some of you can help me prove it. Anyone interested in keeping a utensil log for me? I need more data and a bigger sample size.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Weekend ReCap

Friday

Went to Tailgate for Happy hour

Went to Lucky 13 for Dinner


Saturday

Drove to Eu Claire for a Graduation party and well got tanked:)

Sunday

Drove Home...chill kind of Sunday funday:)

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Two Modern Women's Fashion Trends I Just Don't Get

Modern Women's Fashion Trends I Just Don't Get

Obviously written from a male point of view.


1.) Women who wear skirts with those think spandex looking tights on under neither

Seriously the beauty of a skirt is two fold there is nothing sexier then a woman's leg or a woman confident enough to show some skin and for men who are inherently lazy there is the fantasy of easy access to the goods. The tights steal away from both of these. It is like ripping the last chapter out of a book. It is the modern equivalent to wearing a visible chastity belt. Looking at a woman dressed this way just screams out in my head I bet she has shaved her legs in moths, probably hasn't showered either. I wonder why she lacks the confidence to just put it out there? She should just wear jeans.....but not these jeans...

2.) Skinny Jeans

I will admit there are a few and I mean very few girls out there who can pull these off...but no where near enough to justify a whole section of skinny jeans @ Express. You remember the 80's when we used to unfortunately roll our jeans at the ankles to make them nice and tight? Can you imagine how much you would laugh at someone who still does that? When I look at the ankles of skinny jeans I can't help but laugh for the same reason. Some designer actually thought tight ankle jeans was a good idea...its not. Unless you are tall, have some curves, weigh more then 120 pounds you should give your skinny jeans to some unfortunate person in a third world country because that is what you look like. A malnourished sixth grader.