Drum Roll.....

"Still Life" - Pictures from the Life of Brian in Minneapolis

This is my new artwork. It is a picture by Mark Hammerstien that the love of my life bought for me at an art auction. I think even more then the picture I love the title, "Still Life" The play on words of this picture in which a drawing dummy is being hug on a window pane with growth taking place outside is like a riddle to me. It is like standing in a hall with mirors on each side and looking at your reflection repeated to infinity. Looking at this picture gives me that feeling. Like meaning is repeated on in scales for infinity. I don;t know really how to explain it. It is clever, morbid, inspirational, depressing and well constructed, it also has the right effect at making people cring and laugh and a tad bit uncomfortable...Everything to me a great pice of Art should be.





I am bringing sexy back....




Itialian Fries ..







I scratched the picture of me with the chipped tooth. The one I took you couldn't really tell it was chipped and I have already gotten it fixed so here is a bonus shot...



Can you guess what these cups are for? Hint: It has something to do with my return of scent after not smoking...

Confession #543328 - Click

I can not watch Click without crying. Adam Sandler makes me cry in the last scene every time....

Damn that movie.

Green as Greed

My hotel room is equipped with a card telling me proudly how they are going green. The are using less water by only washing my linen every other day and would appreciate it if I respected the environment by shutting off all of the lights before I leave.

Do you think for one instance this hotel cares about the environment?

They care about profit. Less wash means cost savings, Less electricity used means cost savings.

The environment being saved is a credit to the greed of the hotel.

Greed is saving Bambi..

We would not shut the lights if the card on the table said we are greedy and we are going to maximize profit. Help us do that by shutting off the lights...

Marketing is a beautiful thing. I spin a false motive into consumer action. A type of lie that creates a win-win situation. And you never even notice....you have been morally had.

I would rather shut off the lights if it said we are trying to make a profit. At least that I can respect.

Pictures I will Post Sat.:)

A.) Leg Warmers
B.) My New Chipped Tooth From Last Night!!!
C.) My New Art Work I Have Purchased for My Collection...

See you Sat. or I mean you will see me..lol

Best Way to Spend Tax Dollars?

Is this really the best way to spend our tax dollars?

Does the government really need to care which athletes used steroids?

Is this the job we voting them into office to do? It seems to me if they have this much time on their hands they don't have enough work to do. Maybe we should downsize them a bit?

I mean really, there is a war in Iraq, Contractors have fleeced the country, the economy is in a recession and the people who should be concerned with are...

A.) Not voting

B.) Gathering testimony on Roger Clemmons Use of Steroids

C.)Incompetent

D.) All of the above.

Male Leg Warmers

I thought I understood the purpose of leg warmers. They seemed so practical. They seemed to scream, "I am a beautiful women, I have great legs and they look amazing in a skirt, but it is winter and it is so cold outside.
I know I can wrap warm cloth around my legs that I can easily remove when I am in doors and put on when I go outside." Best of both worlds...

Now I am a big fan of shorts, I have nice man legs and face a similar problem as a native of a cold climate...

Could leg warmers work for a man too? I know they look silly but I am kind of a function over form guy and can deal with the trade off if it allows me to wear shorts in the winter once and a while.

I guess there is only one was to find out. I put a pair of shorts on and some leggings and went to the gas station and grocery store...

I have been called a lot of names as a gadfly and social antagonist but nothing quite as vulgar and equal as the stares I received for this little stunt. I guess the world is just not ready to see my white thighs peaking out of a pair of leggings in the dead of winter.

After all this I saw a woman pass by me wearing leg warmers over jeans?!?!? It was then I realized I have no idea what leg warmers are for...

Pictures coming soon

You Are Human Inventory

*Shivers*

The FBI wishes to track you by your genetic bar code.

It is what people never understood, no chip is needed to be implanted in your skin. No bar-code tattoo. You are the mark. You are the barcode. Every cell carries it. Every time you open your eyes they testify against you in a court of law.

You are a piece of inventory in the largest Wal-Mart on Earth, called America.

I am just waiting for the cattle ranchers and herders to start applying six sigma to this little manufactured version of evolutionary experiments call human life. How many defects with they allow in the next line?

PS... On a side note I wonder if Religious people find it interesting that their God was the one who created them and gave them their "mark of the beast" or why they are voting to back this bill allowing for this technology to be used in just the manner they claim their antichrist will use it. It is almost as if they are trying to usher in their own demise? WFT?

I guess it is one of the reasons I gave up trying to figure them out so long ago...

Got a light?

I know in my heart the only difference is the light. The more light the narrower the pupils. The less light the wider the pupils.

But for some reason I can't shake the fact that it makes a cat look evil or good.

Which cat below is evil? Which is good?






The light makes the difference in appearances.

I wonder if it is more then that though...

Am I different during the day then I am at night?

Does light or the absence of it make me good or evil?

Creation vs. Imitation

Misplaced Correlation

Don't get me wrong guitar hero is a fantastically fun game. However there is a huge difference between a person who can copy and a person who can create.

This is also present at every Karaoke bar.

A person who can mimic the movements and melodies and the person who can create them in their mind and place them in the world are two opposite ends of the spectrum.

Just because you rock at playing Black Sabbath on Guitar Hero doesn't mean you are Ozzy Osborne...

Just think for as fried as he is, he is still the creator and you are his imitator.

What if you became the creator today?
What would you make?
What would give the world?

I would rather hear the awful song of a beginner, the beautiful sound of originality. Rather then the polished hissing of legions of copycats...

Announcing the Flaming Pile Awards

On the same level as the Razzies I have started my own award show program.

It's called the Flaming Pile Award. The award itself is a brown paper bag filled with tootsie rolls and flaming cheetos in resemblance of a flaming pile of dog shit. (I plan on bronzing it after I get enough sponsors) This award will be given to all of the flaming piles who make our life what it is....

The categories

Flaming Pile In the Service Industry
-Worst Service in a Restaurant
-Worst Service in a Bar
-Worst Cab Driver
-Worst Customer Service on the Phone
-Worst Customer Service in Person
-Worst Sales Person
-What am I missing?

Flaming Pile In Personal Life
-Biggest Jackass on the Road
-Biggest Asshole Customer
-Most Annoying Co-worker
-Biggest Loser Boy Friend\Husband
-Biggest Loser Girl Friend \Wife
-Worst Friend
-What else?

I would like to get a website running, take nominations and then film people getting the award and broadcast it on U-Tube.

Anyone want to be on the advisory panel or feel like making a website and history?

Anyone want to nominate someone? I know I could win a few of these from a few of you...