Just Sinking In

I am not sure
When it did begin.
I am sure I didn't fall in
Or jump in
Or ever fit in
I just kind of sank in
Slowly absorbed
Transformed
A piece of furniture
An object
In someone else's museum
I am a human cobweb
It was a slow process
Time hates me
More than I hate myself
It was deliberate
Even if I didn't know it was happening
If you struggle
You sink faster
I didn't have that problem
I never struggled
I never stood ground
I waived a white flag
To Avoid a necessary war
To avoid suffering
To avoid feeling
I am alone
My bands of brothers have marched elsewhere
My decent was passive
One lie on top of another
One part of me for sale
Then another
Nothing is left
All is sold
I am a site cleared for development
I should be sad.
But I am finally happy
This is my beginning
Rising up
Coming back
Finding me
Taking arms
Breathing in
Letting in
Dropping guards
Making right
Breaking free
Feeling me