Freedom in the Workplace

Freedom in the Workplace

(message from the attoneys: This is not directed at any person or company in particular but rather comments on a growing concern in all industries. I love my job and would recommed it as a place to work to anybody. Overall we are fairly relaxed and have a fantastic working environment with people that I truly love like my family)

There have been a lot of discussion on Internet Usage in the Workplace lately and I just wanted to weigh in a few thoughts on the subject.

First I need to level set a little, I subscribe to the theory of management by objectives.

I am a knowledge worker. I think and solve problems for a living. My deliverables are my thoughts organized in to pretty little charts and paragraphs…well sometimes not so pretty..lol

Management by Objectives is the philosophy that I am paying you to do a task by a certain agreed upon period. For example each week we look at our project schedule and set deliverables for the week. If you want to rush through the task and get it done early go right ahead if you want to take your time feel free to do so but come hell or high-water you better be done with it on Friday. To me the amount of time it takes you is irrelevant as long as I can count on your consistent delivery by an agreed to schedule. Hope that makes sense. If it only ends up taking you 30 hours to do it so be it, alternately it could take you 80 hours to do the task it does not matter. You agreed to the task so you complete it. This is different then I am going to pay you a salary and I own your ass for 40 hours so if you are done early you are going to be my bitch and vacuum too!

Therefore, I write this as a worker on a team of knowledge workers in an environment of management by objectives…

Ok so on to the point…

Where some people see a problem with internet usage even for personal usage during work, I see a marketplace shift and opportunities.

1.)People are changing the way that they communicate…get used to it. We IM, Text, Email and throw up signs if we drink too much.

2.)IM and texting are useful…you can set your status so people do not interrupt your zone…you can respond to IM and email and text without getting out of the zone.

3.)Messages are short these are not paragraphs of blazing text. It is a quick way to get a quick response.

4.)People are changing the way they network and keep in touch…hello myspace, facebook, faceparty etc. Do not fight it. Put your company out there get some friends. You might even attract the tons of graphic artists, coders, free thinkers, tech savvy risk takers that will fight the battle for your company in the coming years.

5.) Your company can benefit by the social network of your employees…the best hires are usually someone, someone on your team knows…let them keep in touch. Do you really want your people online telling the 85 million people in their social net that your company is ruled with an iron fist and not really a good place to work? How is that helping recruiting the best and brightest who btw are growing up using these tools.

6.)Time online does not = non-productive time. Just because my browser is open to my gmail account or myspace account all day does not mean that I am using it instead of working.

7.)Just because I am online does not mean that I have stopped thinking about a problem…sometimes breaks from what you are looking at actually help you solve the problem, give you new insight, and change perspective. Sometimes flirting with a beautiful woman gives me the incentive to actually take on bigger projects than I know I can do because I am not saying she is a gold digger but she is not messing with no broke…

8.)A happy worker is a productive worker. I personally learn by playing…yep you know where I learned to configure the HTML color schemas for those mock-ups? Myspace baby!

9.)Worldwide Marketplace perspective! I have many sweet friends who happen to live all over the world and all across the United States…and we talk all day…even when I am at work. The insight that they give me, compassion, flirtation, perspective makes me more productive not less. Even when we are only talking about if gruntle means happiness since disgruntled means your pissed

10.)Really, banning streaming radio? Because it keeps people at there desk? Drowns out distraction? Oh but it uses up bandwidth…hey if tanning salons are sophisticated enough to broadcast XM to every booth I am sure we can figure it out too…

11.)Can’t use my personal email account? What? This actually reduces the risk of jokes and internal communication inside the network that can result in HR headaches not to mention saves on server space.

12.)Don’t ban gambling sites…check their record! I love risk takers if they are good at beating the spread do not fire them…put them on the trade desk!

13.)We solve problems differently….I do not ask. I Google! Get use to it!

14.)We blog …because we all need a place where we can express our thoughts and feelings free of screenings, censors and dogma


Caveats…save the porn for when you are at home with your girlies. If you do production assembly, you are screwed with these arguments. Get back to work!

Famous rebuttals – If you are mad because you think I am playing at work I am sorry, but I really do not care. I can run circles around you. My stuff is done maybe if you worried more about your stuff yours would be done too! If you are mad because I can get my stuff done early and have time to play, I would say if you cannot do your job in 30 hours a week, you are probably not qualified to do it. If you are hating because you come in on the weekend to get ahead and work extra hours…you better not be hating on me, that is your choice, my life is too short not to live it so go on and fuck yourself.


All right, I am almost done with this rant. In closing if it is a production issue with someone, address it, as production issues with that person. Do not cast a net hoping to find an excuse to deal with one person. You never know what you are going to drag up… Most companies have policy against drug usage too, but I know for a fact that in this industry there are 100’s of top performers who could not pass a piss test to save there suit wearing, Ivy League lives.

Bizzzio Von Stuffensnatch