I think it was easy e who said
"What the fuck
I am Fucked
Because I like to fuck"
I think my problem is that intimacy seems to mean something different to me then most people. When I am intimate with someone it has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with talking to someone. Sharing, Revealing, letting them touch the parts of me that I rope off for only the vips. Sex on the other hand doesn't hold some special attachment for me. I can have sex and that will be that....walk away....nothing. It was a knee jerk reaction for pleasure like having a drink or smoking a joint. I don't become emotional with the bottle I just have an agreement with it that when I am done we will go our separate ways, hopefully we both had a good time. Sex is fun. I love women. I love the first time with a new woman. I love the taste of pussy in my mouth. I love variety. I match these things that bring me joy with a dichotomy that is brewing in my mind. I want a loving partner to go through life with. I want to be a good provider. I want to experience the joy of having children. Can't I do all of these things and still whore it up?
Credo of the open relationship
1.) No sex with your partners friends or relatives
2.) If I find out about some thing it should be from you
3.) Always wear a condom
9 comments:
Great post Brian.
"Sharing, Revealing, letting them touch the parts of me that I rope off for only the vips."
-- That's a perfect way to put. I would add vulnerability in there.
For "most" men, sex is a purley physical act of spreading our seed/lineage.
To find a loving partner that will allow the continuation of your whoring around, good luck. Our society does not yet accept that kind of behavior because religion has demonised SEX, unless it's between a man and a boy.
Jesus, Rocket, will you please climb off your holy high horse for one minute? Not everything is about religion all the time. Furthermore, your comment "religion has demonized sex unless it's between a man and a boy" is out of line.
Now, Brian, on to my comment about your post. Like Rocket, I thought the line about sharing and revealing parts of yourself only reserved for VIPs was very eloquent. I think women often view intimacy the same way. For many women, sex is an expression of the intimacy that we experience through our conversations. Some of the ladies out there will agree that we women are also able to turn off the intimacy switch and "just do it" when it comes to sex... because sometimes, you just want to f***.
When it comes to sex, though, don't you generally try to have it with people that you've gotten to know a little bit? If you're engaged in an open marriage, at some point you'll be talking to the other person that you're having sex with outside of your marriage, right? So no matter how casual the relationship might be, there is always the chance that it could become more intimate as you talk to and learn more about the other person; and if you become intimate with that person, by your definition, do you compromise your open marriage? I've never considered having a relationship outside a relationship, so I just don't get how this could possibly work out well.
Ok this posted ended up sounding a little more crass than I intended. Lauren you illustrate a beautiful point. Yes I only like to sleep with people that I like, I would even go so far as to say and have feelings for. What I get frustrated with is the concept that I feel like I can't have these feelings for more than one person? I mean why not? I have a lot of friends so I am capable of maintaining multiple relationships but for some reason when it comes to man and women relationship we are expected to shut those feelings for others off. I guess what I was taking issue with is the exclusivity clause that seems to come when you move past dating and into a relationship and probably didn't communicate it in the most tactful way. I mean I am intimate with my inner circle in the emotional way already so the only distinction become sex..right?
here's my deal, brian. i can't dig on more than one guy at a time. case in point - i was crushing on this guy real bad. the whole deal was pretty lukewarm on a good day, but since i was so hoping something would happen, i couldn't really be bothered to pay attention to any other available/interested/attractive guy who i might have crossed paths with.
is that another one of the million differences between men and women?
i can't have feelings for more than one guy at a time. trust me, i've tried. hehe. ok, that was a lie.
lauren,
First of all don't take the lord's name in vain. ;o)
If you are claiming that religion has nothing to do with our views on sex, you are sorely mistaken.
Without the corruption and power of religion, thousands of boys/girls would not have been raped by priests.
Was it pertinent to the post, no you are correct it was a little cheap shot, and it felt sooo good and I think it was pretty damn funny.
"Can't I do all of these things and still whore it up?" It is quite possilbe you may find a swinger to go through life with...somone who shares your feelings on intimacy. You could perhaps raise your
children to value the same things.... I am sure that this type of parenting may bring new awareness to the world as we know it. (???)
"1.) No sex with your partners friends or relatives
2.) If I find out about some thing it should be from you
3.) Always wear a condom"
Why must there be credo.... what's wrong with friends and family? curious why #2 isn't an "and vice versa" type thing? and why is wearing a condom important if you're interested in spreading your seeds?
Also just curious to know if you envision this set up for yourself and your "loving partner" as a two way street? Would you really be comfortable sharing this person with many to several others such as yourself who don't view sex as intimacy?
Yes Easy E was quite quotable, but do you remember that it was he who died of AIDS? I guess he really did get fucked... I wonder if he'd change anything if he could go back? Wonder how many children and "loving
partners" he left behind?
I think that my present state of celebacy is definately due to the fact that I find sex to be incredibly intimate. I think that the worldy or other views of sex throughout time have brought us all to where we are now. Looking at sex from an "animal type" perspective would lead one to believe that it is purely an act meant for procreation. Most animals in this world follow a strict season of mating and brining new life into the world, their lifestyles and rituals all follow this schedule closely. We as human
animals vary greatly from most other animals as we have evolved (devolved?)to see sex as not only a form of procreation, but a form of pleasure and self gratification. We also have used sex to exploit and abuse, where one's pleasure becomes another's pain. Our values, morals etc surrounding sex as a culture are quite twisted when you really think about it. There are several people who see sex as purely for the self, but how can this be so when there is always someone else so closely involved? There is a magical type of intimacy that occurs when two people share that kind of closeness.
I think it is a spiritual - psycic type of intimacy. I think that as a
culture we are lacking in so many aspects of intimacy - from overuse of computers, televisions and most other sources of technology. From working long hours and spending oodles of money in virtual online superstore malls. Parents spend long hours shuttling their children to and from one activity to another and when if ever do they have time to hug, snuggle, or sit down and be close with their children? Our world is moving more and more towards being a place where human contact is becoming less and less commonplace. Think of how many times you've made a phone call and not spoken to a single live person. Think of the last time you gave and or received a hug that made you tingle with joy. We as a people crave and need phsycial contact -
as we are growing further and further away from living in an intimate world - we as a culture become more and more lustful and detached from ourselves. We crave what we don't have and move towards filling this void with bodies
and pages and video clips... everywhere we go we see sex advertised. You can easily find sex in any girls section of any department store. What use is a miniskirt or belly shirt to an 8 year old girl? How much ass and
tittie must we see in a music video to really feel the meaning behind the music?
I really have no idea where I'm going with this, but I must stop now...
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