Food Therapist. When you are board and broke you have to look for new ways to entertain yourself. I took an add out in Craig's list this weekend for a food therapist. Kind of like a hot line that you call when you are thinking about having a smoke except food.
Somewhere between call one and 100 I realized this is a fucking goldmine....anyone want to start a business?
All we need is a 1-900 number
(Just an aside I called the help quit smoking hotline about 30 times this weekend just to have someone to talk too, they now are blocking my number....I wish I would have recorded these sessions they were fucking hilarious.)
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
20 Days!!!
Additional positive things I have noticed about not smoking....
1.) My hangovers are less severe
2.) I feel more relaxed
3.) I can go to work wearing the same outfit I passed out in the night before and it still smells good.
4.) I can do the 8 flights of stairs now no problem.
5.) My routine is changed so I am meeting new people doing different things
6.) Food tastes better
1.) My hangovers are less severe
2.) I feel more relaxed
3.) I can go to work wearing the same outfit I passed out in the night before and it still smells good.
4.) I can do the 8 flights of stairs now no problem.
5.) My routine is changed so I am meeting new people doing different things
6.) Food tastes better
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Frost Bite in Under 10 Minutes Today
Brian in Minneapolis Hopes All His Peeps Are Warm Today..
If not you have less then ten minutes to get to my house before you freeze to death...
You have to love a challenge :)
For everyone who has always wondered how to calculate wind chill and its effects of frost bite....here you go:)
Friday, January 18, 2008
American Idol and the Fall of the Western World
Imagine a world where all art, innovation, inventions, music, dance, writing, publication, movies etc. Were voted on by a majority rules worldwide audience. A World where only the winner, the mediocre, the mean is available for distribution.
Imagine all of the genius, new styles, sounds, experiences, feelings, activities, leisure's, innovations that we miss.
All of the people outside the mean. People with so much to offer to the diversity of life silenced because your text votes failed to validate what they bring to society.
People who are mocked on the show as weird or odd or retarded.
When you laugh at their looks or vocal style or outfits...
Think all of the Abraham Lincoln's we fail to elect in our airbrushed, image first, pop culture world.
American Idol is the best example I can think of where mass market destroys the innovation and promise of our culture to the sound thunderous applause.
We are voting for our own homogenization....
Tonight I light a candle for all of those people outside the standard deviation.
Imagine all of the genius, new styles, sounds, experiences, feelings, activities, leisure's, innovations that we miss.
All of the people outside the mean. People with so much to offer to the diversity of life silenced because your text votes failed to validate what they bring to society.
People who are mocked on the show as weird or odd or retarded.
When you laugh at their looks or vocal style or outfits...
Think all of the Abraham Lincoln's we fail to elect in our airbrushed, image first, pop culture world.
American Idol is the best example I can think of where mass market destroys the innovation and promise of our culture to the sound thunderous applause.
We are voting for our own homogenization....
Tonight I light a candle for all of those people outside the standard deviation.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Behind You?
Although I probably have a million little quirks one of my most irrational fears is that I get extremely nervous to drive behind people who have damaged rear bumpers. To the point I will turn, pull over and or go out of my way to avoid being behind them.
I am afraid that they are conspiring against me so that I will hit them and they will blame their pre-existing damage on me.
I reason that they must be bad drivers since they did something that caused someone to hit them and they might do it to me. (This is where I know I am crazy because logically I know that it was the person behind them who hit their cars fault but I still can't shake it)
What is one of your most irrational fears?
I am afraid that they are conspiring against me so that I will hit them and they will blame their pre-existing damage on me.
I reason that they must be bad drivers since they did something that caused someone to hit them and they might do it to me. (This is where I know I am crazy because logically I know that it was the person behind them who hit their cars fault but I still can't shake it)
What is one of your most irrational fears?
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Pages of Love
If I had my own show on VH1 i.e Rock of Love or Shot at Love it would be called Pages of Love.
We would all lay around and read and take turns lovingly ssshhhhing each other. How a woman grants you your space and solitude says a lot. Then we would have dinner and get drunk and argue about what we read and then make out with who ever has the best points and opinions. I also would not have big elimination ceremonies as I don't see the need to embarrass people just because they are not for me. Although some of the best relationships in my life would never have happened using this method..
What is your VH1 show called? How does it go?
We would all lay around and read and take turns lovingly ssshhhhing each other. How a woman grants you your space and solitude says a lot. Then we would have dinner and get drunk and argue about what we read and then make out with who ever has the best points and opinions. I also would not have big elimination ceremonies as I don't see the need to embarrass people just because they are not for me. Although some of the best relationships in my life would never have happened using this method..
What is your VH1 show called? How does it go?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Latest Read - The Black Swan
The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
I am not going to recommend this book or discourage you from purchasing it.
I am just going to leave it at that.
If you have read it, are reading it, plan to read it, give me a shout I am wondering if my conclusions about it are just out of line or what others thought.
I am not going to recommend this book or discourage you from purchasing it.
I am just going to leave it at that.
If you have read it, are reading it, plan to read it, give me a shout I am wondering if my conclusions about it are just out of line or what others thought.
Plan vs. Actual
Last nights plan: Finish Homework
Estimated Time of Completion: 9pm 4hours of duration.
Actual Results
1.) Got really drunk.
2.) Shrunk two sweaters while trying to do laundry really drunk.
3.) Broke glass in the sink trying to hide evidence of my getting really drunk.
4.) Passed out at 9.
5.) Homework never even made it out of my bag.
Estimated Time of Completion: 9pm 4hours of duration.
Actual Results
1.) Got really drunk.
2.) Shrunk two sweaters while trying to do laundry really drunk.
3.) Broke glass in the sink trying to hide evidence of my getting really drunk.
4.) Passed out at 9.
5.) Homework never even made it out of my bag.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Experiment #257412 - Water Temperature and Shaving
For the past week I have been testing the adage that the colder the water is when you shave the closer the shave. The point being that the coldness contracts the blades and makes the edge sharper.
I purchased two identical throw away razors. I had two glasses of water one with cold actually ice water and one with hot water enough to see steam coming off the glass.
I would shave one side with cold and one side with hot and then do the, "touch test" - This was also done using a third-party to touch who had no idea what side was shaved with what.
Then I would let it grow out for a day and see if I could measure or see a difference.
Result - I could not discern a difference between the hot and the cold side. It is not to say that the difference is not there just that I was unable to tell the difference.
Woudln't living with me be fun?
I purchased two identical throw away razors. I had two glasses of water one with cold actually ice water and one with hot water enough to see steam coming off the glass.
I would shave one side with cold and one side with hot and then do the, "touch test" - This was also done using a third-party to touch who had no idea what side was shaved with what.
Then I would let it grow out for a day and see if I could measure or see a difference.
Result - I could not discern a difference between the hot and the cold side. It is not to say that the difference is not there just that I was unable to tell the difference.
Woudln't living with me be fun?
Friday, January 11, 2008
They Are Dark Jeans...So It Is OK
Somewhere a few years ago someone pulled a big joke on everyone when they told the world that dark jeans are dressy...because they are dark.
What?
As if the color of your sweatshirt somehow makes it acceptable to wear to a formal dinner party.
Now don't get me wrong I am all for relaxing the dress standards of corporate America. Just don't try to justify it by saying that the color makes the difference. You have been fooled into a perception issue. Just fucking wear jeans and be done with it regardless of color they are. Otherwise you just sound as silly as the retarded fashion expert who started this whole joke to begin with.
The same goes for people who try to make tennis shoes look like dress shoes. To me it says in a quiet voice I want to be a non-conformist and comfortable but I don't want anyone to know or get offended.
Grow a pair and listen to yourself, you sound like an idiot.
What?
As if the color of your sweatshirt somehow makes it acceptable to wear to a formal dinner party.
Now don't get me wrong I am all for relaxing the dress standards of corporate America. Just don't try to justify it by saying that the color makes the difference. You have been fooled into a perception issue. Just fucking wear jeans and be done with it regardless of color they are. Otherwise you just sound as silly as the retarded fashion expert who started this whole joke to begin with.
The same goes for people who try to make tennis shoes look like dress shoes. To me it says in a quiet voice I want to be a non-conformist and comfortable but I don't want anyone to know or get offended.
Grow a pair and listen to yourself, you sound like an idiot.
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