Alternative Use for Mr. Yuck Sticker #67432

When ever I get the tour of someone's house for the first time I can't help be get grossed out when we stop by their home office or see where their computer resides. The first thing that comes to my mind is, "so this is where they rub one out." (This can get even creepier mentally depending on the attractiveness of your host as you actually picture them rubbing it out)

They do it right there in that chair that has never been cleaned. Full of ass juice, butt sweat, pubic hair and what ever else happened to fall off their body as they make rhythm to the buffering images of porn that flash across their monitor.

No, I do not want to sit in that chair and look at the newest thing you found on u-tube. Not without some bleach and plastic.

I know everybody does it....even most of you ladies...but I cant help thinking that until peoples hygiene and cleaning standards catch up to the trans. rate of their high speed modems that there should be a Mr. Yuck sticker placed right there in the middle of your home office.

Mascot-ed

With the RNC coming into full swing in the twin cities I can't help but wonder how stoned the committee members must have been when they choose the mascot for their parties. An Elephant and a Donkey? Really? The most powerful country in history and this is what you come up with?

Republicans.

You know the ones that stand (supposedly) for small government, anti-abortion, trimming waste decided to pick the biggest land animal on earth with an interesting habit of infanticide to be their mascot? It is not even an American animal. It is not like there are herds of Elephants roaming the prairies of middle America. It is a symbol of Africa which ironically is a place that most republicans don't seem to care much about.

Democrats.

A donkey? really? All this talk about bi-partisanship and you pick one of the most stubborn docile animals on the planet. I understand you are supposed to be representing the working man but what was wrong with a horse? Already taken?

I think one of them should have picked a big-foot. You always hear stories that they are out there doing things but no one has ever seen them or caught them on tape actually doing things. Or what about a tiger? Lion? Buffalo?

China has a dragon that breathes fire and you come to the table with a donkey.

Would you believe with our current political landscape I actually feel bad for the donkey and the elephant? Soiling their good names in the animal kingdom. I wonder if they get laughed at by the other animals.

If you had to create a mascot for each party based on the current political seen which animal would you pick for each party and why?

Buying Flowers with a Side of Life

A lot of people think that buying flowers is a waste. I actually like the reminder that life is precious and beautiful and fleeting. It reminds me of the moment. Of breathing slower. Taking my time. Not worrying about the future.

It reminds me that all things are finite.

A bunch of flowers is like a timer, an hour glass reminder in a pretty vase reminding you to go live, before you too become wilted and ready for the compost.

People tend to only think things that last are a good investment but then everything that you usually find joy in is even more fleeting then that arrangement.

A good meal.

A good conversation.

A sunset.

A summer day.

A good laugh.

A run in the leaves.

Sex.

Happy hour with your friends.

A sense of accomplishment for a job well done.

All of these things will fall into the past forever quicker then a flower will wilt and I will take anyone of these over a million plastic flowers and lifetime guarantees.

Free Audio Books

This is a great site for all of you readers out there.

Free Audio Books

I have been downloading a few chapters of classics a day and then listening to them in the car and when I am walking, biking or running. The audio quaility leaves something to be desired but hey it is free and they keep adding like a 100 titles a month.

Secret Garden

Brianinmpls: (Noticing a vendor is smelling the flowers she was selling) "Must be nice to have a job where you actually have to stop and smell the roses."

Vendor: "Roses for sale.. you buy? Pretty girls like flowers"

This lead me to an odd thought. She creates all of the beauty not for herself but for the enjoyment of others. I buy this not for myself but for the enjoyment of others. Now you could say that this beauty leads to the creation of cash, that the vendor can use for her own happiness or a sexual favor given by the recipient of the flowers that would bring me joy.

But as I walked home from the farmers market I racked my brain around this one thought. "What do I do, make, grow, build, create, enjoy that is special just for me. That I keep just for me?"

Something that is not part of keeping up appearances, greasing the skids of relationships or a necessity of life.

Where is my secret garden that I make for myself?

Is my happiness entirely dependant upon other peoples reactions and involvement?

Is the best I can do indirect happiness? A by-product of happiness I create for other people? Left-over happiness? A Remainder?

What do you cultivate that is just for you?

Weekend ReCap

Friday

Watched Miss Conception...so much potential in concept so much let down in execution. Cheesy. Skeet Shooting Material.


Saturday

Farmers Market, Worked.

Just kind of zoned out...

Read I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. I would make this guy looks like a nancy. Another difference was that I actually feel bad for how I treated people.


Sunday

Watched Street Kings. It was ok

Things I realized this weekend.

I suck at being alone. For as much as I preach Independence I am terrible at it.

I love wine.

I doubt five people would morn my passing.

I am in love.

I am a grown-up...kind of..

I miss listening to the Twins Games on the Radio with my neighbor.

For as much as I miss some of the activities that I used to do I would not change my life now for anything or anyone.

It is a St Louis sunrise and a Minneapolis sun set.

Song lyrics never mean the same thing to you as they do to someone else.

Science Application

I had an interesting argument with a man today. He was telling me about my life in Freudian terms and how if I changed my belief system to a faith based one my life would improve.

This lead us into a scientific discussion on his diagnostic method, biology and evolution.

I found it interesting that this christian man would believe in the therapeutic methods of Freud as scientific evidence and still refuse to believe in evolution.

I am always baffled when people fail to see this dilemma in their lives.

You either believe in the scientific approach to understanding the world or you don't.

You can not pick and choose what topics it applies to.

I also must reconsider having my instant messaging id on this blog.

Thank You Ladies :)

Letting the Bullpen Call The Game

First let me explain the bullpen, pantry and forbidden garden.

I will start with the analogy of the bullpen because I think it is the easiest to follow and understand. A bullpen is filled with relief pitchers. People who step in when the starter is tired and not doing so well. All guys in this world and from what I understand all girls have bullpens. Significant others waiting in the wings to step in and pitch an inning in our lives.

This is in our DNA, our evolutionary make up. Potential partners we cultivate on the side through flirting, humor, banter all in the guise of friendship.

You have a set of guys waiting in the bullpen, you are in someone else bullpen. You might not know it but you are in there....warming up.

Don't believe me? Make a pass at them and see what happens.

"My friend isn't like that...he is married!"

Since when do married men stop having fantasies about other women?

They might not do anything about it, but they cultivate the potential to do something about it never the less.

The trick is recognizing this fact and if you value your relationship or potential relationship take steps to avoid it.

If you wouldn't do it or say it in front of the woman you are dating...don't say it don't do it. (This is a good indicator that you are working on a prospect)

And you probably should not let your bullpen call your game or give you advice..remember they are more concerned with pitching an inning then making sure you win the game.

Shelf Life

I wonder why we think we can go into relationships without expiration dates. Assuming everything will last forever. We are all just pieces of meat just like the ground chuck at the grocery store.

We also go bad just like meat. We cite this magic of chemistry to keep it fresh and tasting good. But you can only inject so much carbon monoxide or radiation into meat to keep it fresh(looking fresh) and even then it will eventually go bad.

You can freeze it and thaw it to use later but it never tastes as good that way.

Why do we have such a hard time enjoying our relationships in season?

We are so worried about the preservatives we never really enjoy the banquet that is right in front of us.

Relationships are organic. Just like people are organic. They have shelf lives.

You wouldn't drink milk that has been in your fridge for 5 years.

Why are you basing your entire world on a piece of meat you know has spoiled years ago?

It is time to clean your fridge and start setting expiration dates.

Some of you need to smell it....

Some of you need to take a bite, thaw it out, drink it in ,enjoy it....

It is the secret to preserving it, don't waste it when you have it. Savor it. Put it on your best dish and enjoy it bite for bite...