Pure thought experiments, on behalf of a modern philosopher, gadfly, empiricist, who happens to be very charming and good looking. Brian in Minneapolis would like to welcome you to the discussion from his home base in the North, feel free to comment on any of the linguistic vomit you see spewed within these pages. *Disclaimer - The publisher of this blog is unscrupulous and may have taken a bribe for any products featured on this page - Buyer Beware*
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
The Ultimate Luxury
What is the one thing that will get you out of bed regardless of how cold it is in your room and how tired you are?
That's right that pesky urge to pee. I have solved this problem with the purchase of an antique chamber pot. I no longer have to leave the comfort and warmth of my bed to carry out my business...nor do I have to struggle with that uncomfortable catheter. Simple roll to the side of the bed and make it happen.
I am currently working on fabricating a blanket with a special opening to make this process even easier.
There is also a special trick I learned to deal with the smell too. Try placing lavender and cloves in the pot first it actually gives off a very pleasing scent.
This also works not just for mornings but for those great bouts of depression where you just want to sit and bed and die....now you can....without soiling yourself!!
I highly recommend getting your own chamber pot.
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7 comments:
Ew.
BUT. If I overlook the EW, I can say this. That blanket idea...line it with a special plastic, pee inside and make it like a hot water blanket. Solves 2 problems in the winter-peeing and coldness.
However you may die of the ammonia overkill. LOL.
I'm still going with my original EW though.
I'd still rather have the catheter. And maybe a hot man-nurse to come and adjust it from time to time.
Wow..and gross. Mostly gross. But wow. I need you to get out of your funk! LOL
I love it, great idea man. just don't tip it over by accident, doh!
you are so strangely creative it's somewhat disturbing and also slightly motivational - when the hell is the book signing DAMN!!!
I have to admit, that I'm kinda grossed out. Kudos to you because it's hard to gross me out.
You're a gross and nasty boy :-)
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