Wednesday, June 06, 2007

The Ultimate Luxury



What is the one thing that will get you out of bed regardless of how cold it is in your room and how tired you are?

That's right that pesky urge to pee. I have solved this problem with the purchase of an antique chamber pot. I no longer have to leave the comfort and warmth of my bed to carry out my business...nor do I have to struggle with that uncomfortable catheter. Simple roll to the side of the bed and make it happen.

I am currently working on fabricating a blanket with a special opening to make this process even easier.

There is also a special trick I learned to deal with the smell too. Try placing lavender and cloves in the pot first it actually gives off a very pleasing scent.

This also works not just for mornings but for those great bouts of depression where you just want to sit and bed and die....now you can....without soiling yourself!!

I highly recommend getting your own chamber pot.

7 comments:

Mags said...

Ew.

BUT. If I overlook the EW, I can say this. That blanket idea...line it with a special plastic, pee inside and make it like a hot water blanket. Solves 2 problems in the winter-peeing and coldness.

However you may die of the ammonia overkill. LOL.

I'm still going with my original EW though.

the Book of Keira said...

I'd still rather have the catheter. And maybe a hot man-nurse to come and adjust it from time to time.

Colette said...

Wow..and gross. Mostly gross. But wow. I need you to get out of your funk! LOL

Rocketstar said...

I love it, great idea man. just don't tip it over by accident, doh!

Anonymous said...

you are so strangely creative it's somewhat disturbing and also slightly motivational - when the hell is the book signing DAMN!!!

theresa said...

I have to admit, that I'm kinda grossed out. Kudos to you because it's hard to gross me out.

Erin said...

You're a gross and nasty boy :-)