Brianinmpls: (Noticing a vendor is smelling the flowers she was selling) "Must be nice to have a job where you actually have to stop and smell the roses."
Vendor: "Roses for sale.. you buy? Pretty girls like flowers"
This lead me to an odd thought. She creates all of the beauty not for herself but for the enjoyment of others. I buy this not for myself but for the enjoyment of others. Now you could say that this beauty leads to the creation of cash, that the vendor can use for her own happiness or a sexual favor given by the recipient of the flowers that would bring me joy.
But as I walked home from the farmers market I racked my brain around this one thought. "What do I do, make, grow, build, create, enjoy that is special just for me. That I keep just for me?"
Something that is not part of keeping up appearances, greasing the skids of relationships or a necessity of life.
Where is my secret garden that I make for myself?
Is my happiness entirely dependant upon other peoples reactions and involvement?
Is the best I can do indirect happiness? A by-product of happiness I create for other people? Left-over happiness? A Remainder?
What do you cultivate that is just for you?
4 comments:
Probably 50% of what I do is for my own contentment.
Baking bread, gardening, reading/researching, even cleaning up the yard. Painting, writing, working out etc. I don't do it for anyone but me.
I buy myself flowers. LOL. And I don't believe in sexual favors as a result of getting something--those things shouldn't be conditional on a gift. In my mind, giving should really occur in one direction, not solely for the reciprocity.
it was always the hardest writing exercise to get anyone to some to something they liked simply because they liked it. most everything in life has some association with someone else. really- i love the new yorker, but t. smith gave me my first one and i always think of her. same for ranch dressing, i owe that to j. badgett. the only thing i may love because i love it and not because it reminds me of or brings me to someone else is writing. and even that gets pervertde when i realize that whenever i publish, the hovering of a reaction is part of that act.
Wow. I have to say that I probably don't share those things I do purely for my own satisfaction. SOmetimes it's as simple as time to myself to do what I want -- even as menial as exercising.
Happiness: Like all important questions in life, those ones can be answered with the following: "Yes, and No." Or "Somewhere in between yes and no." The joy and meaning in life, in keeping on living, is found somewhere in between yes and no. And I don't think there's anything wrong (or "less") with happiness tied to another person; in fact I prefer that kind of happiness.
I hadn't been to this blog for a few months, and the very day after I check in again (yesterday), you comment on my blog. Is this a coincidence, or do you have some secret blog-spy mechanism that allows you to see people who access you? Out with it! I'm curious. :)
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