I am not even sure of what I said or how I said it but I know with the looks I got from around the table that I had just revealed my political naivety.
I suddenly could tell by the reduced eye contact and diminishing questions that I was now the kid at the grown-up table.
I have been through almost every grown-up situation that a person can go through, and for some reason I don't feel mature. It is a weird balance. I envision this is what Tom Hanks felt like in Big for the first part of the movie.
All grown up with the mind and eyes of a child.
I wonder when I will grow up? I wonder if I really want to? Does everybody feel this way?
All in all the trip was good, everything was accomplished that needed to be, I just let my confidence get rattled and it was a terrible feeling.
5 comments:
Trust me, this happens to everyone, no matter what level of the organization you find your self in. First off, Know yourself. If you can be comfortable in your own skin and feel confident, then it won't matter. Second off, know that you've (we've) been through some crazy crap and that everyone is playing by survivor skills - including a huges arsenal of mind F&*ck games.... don't succomb. You are bright, talented and creative. Most likely what you said was an idea they had dismissed before and when it came out of your mouth, they were just shocked that someone wuould have the balls to say it. Keep your courage and be true to yourself. And the rest of them, well, they can go.... fly a kite!
You may not know exactly what you said but do you remember what the subject was?
They were probably just a bunch of non-free thinkers.
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Rocket - you said it with, like way less words... I agree!
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