(A super old journal entry that I recently uncovered....this is the abridged version as the actual version went on for nearly 18 pages)
Sniffing a wintery wonderland of its aspriny goodness
Something so compact meant to elevate my very spirit
Simply makes me feel normal
Negating the ounces of fluid depression
The Pipe filled of sleepiness
shaped like little green crumpled pieces of paper
That litter the floor around my throw-n
Pieces nature makes more perfect
Then anything I will ever write.
I call my state focused
Missing the mark
I am not attentive to that which I should be
But to that which is attracting me
That after all is the point
I make this switch effortlessly
My shaking leg re guiled to an amusement
A matter of fact
As if it has nothing to do with me
Until it hits me it does and makes me a little nervous
A feeling that dissipates
With another bump of the table
I hate re-rolling this dollar
So I begin a hunt for some tape
Realizing on my quest how funny it is to only have a one dollar bill in my hand
With pile of dreams fit for a pop star on my table
I find the tape next to a scissor and some straws in a drawer
For some reason I still take the tape
Can't change my mind now
I am part of nature and nature is perfect in its imperfection
So I am perfect in my in perfection
My thoughts inheriting this same standard of acceptance for perfection
The profound statement and thought
Coincides with the turning on of my computer
In the hunt for porn
I watch some of my favorite clips
In an detached critic sort of way
I have sat in all three chairs in my living room in the last five minutes
Trying to find the one that sits best
For the view
I only have 8 cigarettes Left
Estimate Crash time in two hours
Math is completed on this equation
With unfavorable results
Two more and I will start for bed
I inspect my tape job and am pleased
I love the sound of porn
I move to a chair where I can see it again
lighting
Recalculating
Realizing how cold my hands are
Heat is turned up in vain
Heat is not the problem
I attribute it to some circulation problem
The same one that is causing me not to worry about the apparent lack of blood flow to my dick
Maybe I just need some help
A booty call SOS text is sent trolling to the masses
"What are you up to tonight?"
Non- specific, non descript just personal enough
Not to arose suspicion
It is just late enough that anyone who gets it
Knows what it is for
Lighting recalculating down to six
as Sixty long seconds pass and still no replies
Spark of panic and desperation begin to display
Before they are interrupted by a vibrating sensation in my lap
Hit number #1
I crawl off the chair and head over the table
Before I reply
P pick up my modern George Washington abstract art creation
And wonder what end I used before
Something I have never thought about before
Guess it doesn't matter
"How long till you can be here?"
Fingers paying homage to a new version of morse code
"An hour?"
looking at my remaining cigarettes I decide that will not do
I check my second line
Then my third
As I text back and forth
i envision having sex with each of them
What it would be like
Because they are all different
My throat is real dry
So reluctantly I leave my spot on the floor
Heading to the kitchen
I turn the water on and let it run till it is cold
I realize that a lot of time has passed since I first turn the water on and insert my glass
Even water is a drug
If you know how to use it right
The clock on the stove says one
Five hours till I have to be at work
One last text that the back door is open
Just in case anyone wants to wake me up
Time to lay down
Well maybe after one more
3 comments:
Wow..are you sure we never met in another place?
Love it.
Brian, this is amazing. You have an unbelievable talent. I could make passionate love to your poetry :-)
And I could make passionate love to you BECAUSE of your poetry.
;)
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