Sinful Pleasure #25874 - Full Service Gas Stations

Its not that I am lazy or anything but it is a small comfort to pull up and have someone else fill your gas and clean your windows. Why do I feel bad about doing this? Sometimes I even duck so no one will see me...lol

1.) It is great in the winter.
2.) No one sees you are too drunk to walk so you shouldn't be driving
3.) It is a great alternative for all of you who are too scared to use the gas station on my corner at night.

70th and France. Sinclair Gas Station. I love it. (No additional charge either it is the same price as the Conoco and Bobby and Steve's down the street) Tell Adrian and Angela, Biz says hi.


A gas tip for the loose moral deviants...when you are low on money....

Grab a bunch of Speedy Rewards Cards @ SA (Super America), but don't register them or register them under a name of someone you don't like. This will allow you to get a pump turned on for payment inside without having to use a credit card....then drive off.

Our System of Law Was Based on What?

Lets take a closer look at the ten commandments and maybe someone can point out what I am missing and where any of this is alright to be in any courthouse in America. (If you know them already feel free to skip the background information)


Background

Just what are the ten commandments?
The 10 Commandments are found in the Bible's Old Testament at Exodus, Chapter 20. They were given directly by God to the people of Israel at Mount Sinai after He had delivered them from slavery in Egypt:

"And God spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the LORD your God…

ONE: 'You shall have no other gods before Me.'

TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.'

THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.'

FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.'

FIVE: 'Honor your father and your mother.'

SIX: 'You shall not murder.'

SEVEN: 'You shall not commit adultery.'

EIGHT: 'You shall not steal.'

NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.'

TEN: 'You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.'

Now new testament enthusiasts will say that the real commandments are summed up in Matthew

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:36-40).

But since no one is trying to put this version up in a courthouse we will dismiss it for this discussion.

Discussion

People state that this should be allowed in court because our system of law and the direction of the country that our founding fathers wanted us to go is based on these simple instructions. - Bullshit

1.) The first four are crap and enforcing them in any way infringes on the 38% of people who live in this country who do not subscribe to a Judao -Xian deity. Specifically we are protected from the first four by the first amendment. To have these any where near the capital is offensive. (People who really look at these should question a God who only came down to earth one time at this point and this is what he had to say...me, me ,me. Kind of small, don't you think. He could have at least said something helpful like washing your hands prevents disease or you should rotate crops to avoid devastating famines....but no.)

2.) As far as I am concerned there has never been anyone arrested for failing to honor there mother and father.

3.) As far as I am aware adulty is not a crime either although it has the potential to cost you half of everything you own.

4.) As far as I am aware no one has been arrested for jealousy.

So what we are left with is 3 out of 10 or 30%. But there is nothing specific to Xianity about these three as they are in all religions. This is often an argument used to advocate having the commandments present, but the thing is you can't try to use the 30% to hid all of the other stuff going on here. Jeffery Dahlmer was probably a great guy 30% of the time but you know what, that other 70% makes a big difference.

The Bible In Under a Minute

"Worship me or I will torture you forever." -- God

Apparently strikingly similar to the GOP handbook How to Run a Nation.

How to prepare and eat a Ortolan Bunting

How to prepare and eat a Ortolan Bunting

Catch it alive.
Poke its eyes out.
Force feed it.
Drown it in Cognac.
Pluck the feathers.
Roast it whole.
Bite its head off.
And eat it whole bones and all under a blanket.

The under the blanket part is supposed to be to hide the act from god and to preserve the aroma of the bird but I think the real reason is so you don't see the guts and innards and vomit on yourself.


I am close to building a pool made out of Cognac and having all of my food drown in it.

Sleep Over

Isn't sleep weird? Why do we need it? How come no species of mammal can just not sleep and go all of the time? It seems to defy logic, you would think you could just eat more and get energy to keep going.


A kid bed may never get made if you rely on your child to do it, and making your child's bed isn't something we want to do for them. Getting a contemporary kids bed may help your child make his or her bed because they will want to see their kids bed neat and clean.

OOO - Till Monday

But I didn't want to leave you hanging so here is a couple posts that may shed some ill gotten light on what I will be doing when I am out of town this weekend.

I will miss all of you and hope that each of you has a great holiday weekend:)

Talk to you on Monday:)

Fucking is Legal....Till You Ask for Money

It is legal to screw who ever you want but the second you ask for money it is illegal. Does that seem screwed up? You are arresting people for selling something they can give away for free!

They are not being arrested for tax evasion
They are not being arrested for vending without a license

They are being arrested for charging to fuck!

I just don't get it....

Under the Influence

Circa 2:30 A.M. it occurred to me that driving under the influence is like a big game of Pac Man. There is a maze of streets, the cops are like the ghosts and the white lines are like dots in the game. If you get caught you go to jail for the night and you get three strikes and you don't get to drive again.....


I actually started to hear the sound of Pac Man munching every time I went by a white line...

Snow Days

(A super old journal entry that I recently uncovered....this is the abridged version as the actual version went on for nearly 18 pages)


Sniffing a wintery wonderland of its aspriny goodness

Something so compact meant to elevate my very spirit

Simply makes me feel normal

Negating the ounces of fluid depression

The Pipe filled of sleepiness

shaped like little green crumpled pieces of paper

That litter the floor around my throw-n

Pieces nature makes more perfect

Then anything I will ever write.

I call my state focused

Missing the mark

I am not attentive to that which I should be

But to that which is attracting me

That after all is the point

I make this switch effortlessly

My shaking leg re guiled to an amusement

A matter of fact

As if it has nothing to do with me

Until it hits me it does and makes me a little nervous

A feeling that dissipates

With another bump of the table

I hate re-rolling this dollar



So I begin a hunt for some tape

Realizing on my quest how funny it is to only have a one dollar bill in my hand

With pile of dreams fit for a pop star on my table

I find the tape next to a scissor and some straws in a drawer

For some reason I still take the tape

Can't change my mind now

I am part of nature and nature is perfect in its imperfection

So I am perfect in my in perfection

My thoughts inheriting this same standard of acceptance for perfection

The profound statement and thought

Coincides with the turning on of my computer

In the hunt for porn

I watch some of my favorite clips

In an detached critic sort of way

I have sat in all three chairs in my living room in the last five minutes

Trying to find the one that sits best

For the view

I only have 8 cigarettes Left

Estimate Crash time in two hours

Math is completed on this equation

With unfavorable results

Two more and I will start for bed

I inspect my tape job and am pleased



I love the sound of porn

I move to a chair where I can see it again

lighting

Recalculating

Realizing how cold my hands are

Heat is turned up in vain

Heat is not the problem

I attribute it to some circulation problem

The same one that is causing me not to worry about the apparent lack of blood flow to my dick

Maybe I just need some help

A booty call SOS text is sent trolling to the masses

"What are you up to tonight?"

Non- specific, non descript just personal enough

Not to arose suspicion

It is just late enough that anyone who gets it

Knows what it is for

Lighting recalculating down to six

as Sixty long seconds pass and still no replies

Spark of panic and desperation begin to display

Before they are interrupted by a vibrating sensation in my lap

Hit number #1

I crawl off the chair and head over the table

Before I reply

P pick up my modern George Washington abstract art creation

And wonder what end I used before

Something I have never thought about before

Guess it doesn't matter



"How long till you can be here?"

Fingers paying homage to a new version of morse code

"An hour?"

looking at my remaining cigarettes I decide that will not do

I check my second line

Then my third

As I text back and forth

i envision having sex with each of them

What it would be like

Because they are all different

My throat is real dry

So reluctantly I leave my spot on the floor

Heading to the kitchen

I turn the water on and let it run till it is cold

I realize that a lot of time has passed since I first turn the water on and insert my glass

Even water is a drug

If you know how to use it right

The clock on the stove says one

Five hours till I have to be at work

One last text that the back door is open

Just in case anyone wants to wake me up

Time to lay down

Well maybe after one more

Random Thought on Bumper Lanes

Some co-workers (And I say co workers because I have a hard time spelling colleagues and generally reserve that term for people I like at work) were talking about bowling and how cute it was that their kids use the bumper lanes...



This led to two thoughts.

1.) Wouldn't it be fun if there was a bumper lane on the highway for drunk driving? You keep them off the road and think of all the money you would save on cabs!!


2.) They say it is to teach the kids to have fun and so it doesn't hurt their self esteem...We have too many people in this country who think that Freedom and Fun are synonymous and most of these little pricks could use a good bubble burst. First throwing a gutter and failing are not bad things...IT IS HOW WE LEARN.