Friday, March 25, 2011

Be That Guy – Friday Update – Bud in Line

In an effort to save all of us from the over indulgence of worrying about everybody’s feelings all the time and testing the bounds of the long held assumption that nice guys finish last I am giving everybody permission to be an asshole, tool box douche once a week.

This weekend’s be that guy challenge - Bud in line!

You see a long line to get in the club or into the bathroom. That stuff doesn’t apply to you this weekend. Go about a quarter of the way back in the line and just get in. Look the person you are getting in line in front of dead in the face and then turn around. Pretend you are def you hear his hussy little girlfriend bitching under her breath about how rude it is….they are not going to do anything. You get in ahead of them and as a bonus you ruined their night be emasculating him and cause them to fight.

You are in a long line at the store and a new register opens run over to it …don’t fucking look around at who might have been there longer. If they wanted a faster checkout experience they would have beat you to the new register.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Ode To Pretzels

Reasons why Pretzels are one of the best snacks of all time.
1.) They are crunchy
2.) They don’t get greasy
3.) They are healthier than a lot of alternatives.
4.) They don’t break as much and end up in little pieces at the bottom of the bag
5.) They seem to stay fresh longer
6.) They go well with dips
7.) They come in lots of fun shapes and varieties
Oh how I love to eat Pretzels…. With BBQ Chips or Parmesan or peanuts or spicy mustard … must be hung over today...

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Coffee Table Book Idea

How about this for a coffee table book idea. A series of suicide books about people jumping off famous monuments.

For example since its opening over a 1,000 people have jumped off the Golden Gate bridge the concept of the books would be pictures, stories, suicide notes of the victims with a portion of the proceeds going to depression counseling and awareness.

You could have a book for all the famous landmarks that people routinely jump off of. So you have a built in collection of book.

Kind of morbid but I think it would sell and as long as you use some of the money for prevention I think it would be ok…

Friday, March 18, 2011

Be That Guy – Friday Update – Take the Last One

In an effort to save all of us from the over indulgence of worrying about everybody’s feelings all the time and testing the bounds of the long held assumption that nice guys finish last I am giving everybody permission to be an asshole, tool box douche once a week.

Be that guy!!!!

This weekend’s be that guy challenge – Take the last one!

You know the drill you are at a party – out to dinner – on a date. There is one piece of sushi left on the platter, one beer left in the sixer, one onion right or chicken wing left on the platter.
Everybody is way too polite to take the last one ….so you know where it ends up? In the garbage.
This weekend I want you to take the last one. Look everybody in the face as you consume it and tell them how delicious it was.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

ARK Music Factory

It is kind of like glamour shots for spoiled kids.

"Ark Music Factory, a Los Angeles-based company operating as an industry hybrid of Maurice Starr and John Bennett Ramsey. Their casting calls are perfect bait for starry-eyed parents: “If you are a great singer without any material and you want to get discovered,” one reads, “then Ark Music Factory is looking for you.”
The formula is simple: They’ll fly your child between the specified ages of 13-17 to Los Angeles, write her a “hit,” record it in super-compressed Autotuned production, shoot an edge detection-overlay video and BAM! Maybe your kid can notch up a couple thousand YouTube views while you watch your dreams of being a pop-star parent percolate."

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Prep Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes

2 oz. Blanco Tequila
1/2 Skinned Avocado
1/4 oz. Agave Nectar
1/2 oz. Fresh Lime Juice
4 Cilantro leaves

Place all ingredients and ice into a blender.
Blend on high for 10 seconds and pour into a margarita glass.
Garnish with a short cilantro sprig.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

In Preperation for Thursday

Here is to a long life and a happy one
A good death and a fast one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold pint and another one

My favorite birthday toast…
We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.

My favorite wedding toast..
May all your ups and downs be between the sheets.

May you be in heaven a full half hour
before the devil knows your dead.

Think it might have been modified from this verse….

May you have food and raiment, a soft pillow for your head. May you be forty years in heaven before the devil knows you’re dead.

The older I get the more I appreciate this toast....

May your mornings bring joy
and your evenings bring peace...
May your troubles grow less
as your blessings increase!


Friday, March 11, 2011

You Have Changed....

I sure fucking hope so....

I always get amazed when people say stuff like this. Like changing, growing, reinventing yourself is a bad thing.

Change on...

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Red Dragon

It has only been a short while but I can honestly say I loving my new E-Cig. It is all the good stuff without most of the bad stuff.

1.) I can still get a buzz off of it
2.) It still tastes and feels like you are smoking
3.) I don’t smell like crap
4.) I can still go out with the smokers and take a break and socialize
5.) I can breathe better
6.) I can smell better
7.) It saves me money
8.) I smoke a lot less
9.) You can use them inside some places
10.) My breath smells better
11.) I am saving even more money on gum
12.) I can whitten my teeth without them going back to yellow right away

The down side you still have to go outside other places
And it doesn’t work so good outside in the cold

Other then that I am thrilled and it looks like I will never smoke an analog cigarette again :)