Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year Eve

Things to remember.....

Shots are like sit-ups for your liver if you don't train regularly don't try to do a bunch in a row you will only end up in pain.

This Holiday tends to be for amateur hour for drunks, professionals stay home or at other professionals home..if everybody gets a DUI they lose the stigma.

Despite the short sentence "Happy New Year" Spelling it properly with pee in the snow takes a considerable full bladder. Make sure you have your guests perform their end of the year sign off early in the night you don't want them passing out with all that stuff backed up in their guts otherwise you are going to have mess on your hands tomorrow.

Never use the snow in your yard for ice after the end of the year sign off has taken place.

Remember it is ok to hit up your neighbors for ice if you run out as long as you offer them a drink, it is cheaper then asking for sugar and helps build communities.

It is ok to laugh at the polar bear club. These people are stupid. There is nothing exciting about jumping in a froze is cold, wet, if you need a cleansing for the new year take a shower at home and dry off...if it needs to be special pretend you are drying off with a magic towel. Then remember your superstitious self is at least smarter then the idiots jumping in the lake.

What ever you do remember to have fun. It is only life :)

Have a Happy New Year and I will see you on the flip side....

Bizzio Von Stuffensnatch

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Birthday Suit

Today is my birthday. I am a wonderful 32 years old. I have lived an eventful life and I have no doubt that the best is yet to come:)

I am looking forward to a great night and a great weekend as I watch the spedometers on my life turn over and start a new.

Love you guys thanks for all of the birthday wishes:)

Monday, December 28, 2009

Bar Burn

Kind of a cross between carpet burn and tennis elbow. Most common cause is sitting at a bar in excess of 12 hours per day over the holidays. Caused by the repeditive motion of raising and lowering a glass to your lips.


Hope everyone else had a great weekend too:)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Look Out for the Wall :)

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'
Dave Barry

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Happy Festivus

Tonight will be celebrated by getting my Window fixed

Drinking a bottle of wine

Feats of strength will be laundry duty

And the airing of greivences will be a couple of phone calls to family members

Followed by another bottle of wine.

Hope all of you have a magical Festivus Celebration of your own.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Bentley Saves the Other Half of the Block

Kind of a fitting wrap up for 2009.

Today I woke up to my car window smashed in.

Items taken: 1 and a half packs of Camel lights

$2.80 cents in change.

Around 11:15 last night my dog started going nuts so I stumbled out of bed and let him out where he continued to bark and growl at the street. When I looked out front I didn't see anything so we went back to bed.

This morning as I looked down the block to the left every car had the snow on its windows rubbed-off so someone could see in and every other car had a window broken.

To the right no car was touched. Mine was the last one and I have no doubt it was cause I let Bentley out and they ran off.

Good boy next time I know now when you do that I am going out with a shot-gun.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Happy Hour @ the Library damn I am getting old.

Some shooters @ the Kitty Cat Club I will add old and unhip to the growing list of things I am Still was a great time.


Worked on goals

Read a bit

Laid around the house resting my Mangina

Went to an office holiday party

Went to the grand opening of the best new bar ever in Mendota Heights!!


Worked for a few hours.

Timeout for Lunch

Worked for a few more hours.

Watched some football an tried to relax in preparation for hell week and the end of the year push that starts at 6:00am toay

Friday, December 18, 2009

I Got the Rock

4th Quarter, time running down, down by a few in the championship game. I have the rock, there is no one left to pass it too. This shot is up to me and I am sweating..

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Git Mo or Git Less

Isn't it curious how fast we forget?

The reason for housing prisoners in Gitmo was because they were denied their due process under the constitution of this county. The gace they were in prison was a violation of the civil rights we send soldiers to protect. They had to be held outside of this country because the very fact that they were arrested without due process of law and contained without rights afforded to all of us.

Is it funny that the moving of the prisoners only elicits the response. "are we safe?" rather then, "is it right?"

The largest part of our legal system rests on case law. We are about to set a precedent and the most vocal of the people leading us and our destiny can only say yeah it will give up rights....but it will create jobs....

Live from Waterloo IA

Bizzio Von Stuffensnatch

So apparently we will go silently..into that good night.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Ran errands



Partied my pants off in the Johnson basement bar with some friends that were in town.


Woke up: Wondered where the bruises on the back of my head and back came from.

Wondered why there were Blair Witch like patterns of Orange peels all over the house

Wondered why there was a string of lights leading from my basement window decorating the tree outside.

Wondered how I came to have such awesome friends :) Love you guys

Was a little baby all day

Went to Harry's for dinner

Went to a friends for a night cap

Passed out in a heap of hot mess


8th Street Grill Downtown for the Games

Spend the rest of the night in front of a fire watching TV it was great:)

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Deadly Combination

Under no circumstances should you ever consume the following combination

1 - Jar of Pickles
1 - Activa Yogurt
1 - Crown of Broccoli with Ranch Dressing
7 - Triscuts

The end result was a series of farts that actually smelled so bad I became light headed and dizzy. When it is -20 outside and you can not open the window the results may become fatal.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Goal Recap for 2009

Coming up on my birthday this year and I am in full goal setting mode. Here are the goals I set for 2009 and how I faired on accomplishing them.

Goals for my 31st Year on this Planet

Read 50 Books. Done 

Watch 50 Movies. Done 

Take 20 credits worth of classes. Took the Summer off so I only ended up with 16 but I did actually take part in graduation this year so that was kind of fun.
Fence off my back yard. Done 

Place a concrete patio in the back yard. Due to financial considerations this got pushed to 2010

Get a dog. Welcome Bentley  You have chewed your way into my heart.

Publish one book. Due to financial considerations this got pushed to 2011

Take Two Trips - Thinking of North Carolina this summer and Arizona this spring. Travel this year included the following – Arizona, Chicago, Delaware, Philadelphia, and seven trips to Wisconsin

Pay off another $10,000 in debt and quit being my own worst enemy it absolutely sucks how much crappy credit history can effect your job prospects, especially in this market. – Done just a little bit more to go this next year to get this full monkey off my back.

In the fall I would like to redo my basement. Especially, the bar area not really sure how much money or what exactly I will do but at a minimum I want to put my poker table up, wire the basement for TVs and sound maybe put a few small flat screen monitors up, get a few comfy used bar stools. (It kills me to see all of this stuff on Craig's list right now and not be able to afford any of it.) I would like to start having bi-weekly game again by next winter so if you want on the list let me know and I will keep you posted. – Bar is up and operational and being put to good use Still short a few TV’s and Poker chairs but we are getting there.

Try 24 New Bars or Restaurants. Done 

Sign-Up for some more sports teams. Three kickball seasons and some good times

Upload Videos to the net. (I have never done this before and it is something I want to do) – Never got around to this one but it is coming.

Register on – Done 

Pick two from the following list. (They all cost the same and I want to do them all but I have to narrow this down)
- Renew MPR Membership
- Fencing Lessons
- Join the Masons
- Renew Mensa
- Dance Lessons
- Karate Lessons
- Swedish Institute Membership – Went to the Swedish Institute
- Renew PMI Membership
- Renew Block Buster Movie Membership (F U I like it better then netflicks) – Done

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Going Green by Getting Rid of Red

Minneapolis's efforts to clean up the air are now making my commute a little easier.

In order to reduce the green house gases of idling cars the city has been slowly removing all of the NO TURN ON RED signs.
To get the annoying ones that slow down your progress go to the cities website and request that they be want to do your part for the environment...don't you?

Wednesday, December 09, 2009


Have you ever wanted to see who who comes to your funeral? What they say about you? What they do? What they don't do?

In this regard celebrities are lucky.

Scandal is the modern pop culture obsessed version. The one where you find out who your friends are and how good they keep their mouths shut.

I wonder which one of my so-called friend would come out of the wood work selling photos of me nakend in a corner covered in my own vomit to TMZ?

Celebrities are lucky in this sense, they get to find out who there real friends in in the ultimate for revealing secrets.

I guess where I come from you just keep your mouth shut.

If your friend is having an affrair and you take issue with it, you confront your friend. You don't tape him and release it to the news media.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

New Word - Buzzle

This is a new word that is a combination of Buzz and Puzzle.

Buzzle - This is the moment when you have left the pre-party after a cocktail and are headed out for the night. But you are traveling with a bunch of idiots who are very picky and no one can decide where to go, so you are just driving around....not drinking...getting thirsty.

You are trying to solve a buzzle.

The other use for the term Buzzle is when you are trying to plan a pub crawl and look for the most effective route or throwing a party and trying to determine the mix of booze to have on hand for your guests.

Then you are in a buzzle state of mind or engaged in a buzzle strategy meeting.

Bizzio von Stuffensnatch

Monday, December 07, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Went to Happy Hour @ TG

Watched the International kind of fizzled out at the end but it was ok.


Passed out.


Went to the dog park

Rebuilt a toilet

Read on the couch

Watched Shot in the one of the funniest movies ever I love Peter Sellers

Drank a bottle of wine.

Watched Observe and Report but it be in the top ten of the crappiest movies I have ever seen.

Went for a long walk with the dog


Went to the dog park


Cooked my first ham in the crock pot and it was delish.

Watched the first 10 minutes of the Vikings game and realized they were going to lose and went to bed.

Great relaxing weekend and with the holidays coming up probably the last time I can be a pile like that for a while so I def lived it up to the fullest.

Friday, December 04, 2009

Alternative Fuel - 200 Million Fat Americans

Biodiesel refers to a vegetable oil- or animal fat-based diesel fuel consisting of long-chain alkyl (methyl, propyl or ethyl) esters. Biodiesel is typically made by chemically reacting lipids (e.g., vegetable oil, animal fat (tallow)) with an alcohol.

What if we didn't have to drill in the Arctic?

What if we didn't have to import oil?

What if the energy crisis America is facing could be solved by sticking a straw into the mid section of 70% of the people who live here?

You get thin without any effort.(The American way)

You might get paid $2.00 a gallon for your love handles.

We decrease our dependency on foreign oil.

Sounds like a win-win to me.

I am ready to take the first patriotic step and donate my booze belly.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

The Kids Table - The Other Side of the Philly Experience

I am not even sure of what I said or how I said it but I know with the looks I got from around the table that I had just revealed my political naivety.

I suddenly could tell by the reduced eye contact and diminishing questions that I was now the kid at the grown-up table.

I have been through almost every grown-up situation that a person can go through, and for some reason I don't feel mature. It is a weird balance. I envision this is what Tom Hanks felt like in Big for the first part of the movie.

All grown up with the mind and eyes of a child.

I wonder when I will grow up? I wonder if I really want to? Does everybody feel this way?

All in all the trip was good, everything was accomplished that needed to be, I just let my confidence get rattled and it was a terrible feeling.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Talent - One Side of the Philly Experience

I devoured this little gem on the return flight last night. City if Thieves by David Benioff.

There is this passage in there that just summed up the day I was having.

"Talent must be a fanatical mistress. She is beautiful; when you're with her, people watch you, they notice. But she bangs on your door at odd hours, and disappears for long stretches, and she has no patience for the rest of your existence: your wife, your children, your friends. She is the most thrilling evening of your week, but some day she will leave you for good. One night after she has been gone for years, you will see her on the arm of a younger man, and she will pretend not to recognize you."

I wonder why bars always have mirrors behind them?

I was taking a good look at this old man. Grey at 32. Soft in the middle. Convinced that shaken baby syndrome can happen when life grabs to firm ahold onto adults too.

I saw the talent on another mans arm and it was lonely harsh feeling.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Nationl Christmas Tree?

Does anyone else think having a National Christmas tree on the grounds of the white house is a clear violation of the separation of church and state?

What if it was a big cross?

A menorah?

A national prayer rug pointed to Mecca?

I don't really care what religion the first family chooses to practice but do we really need to nationalize it?