Friday, August 31, 2007

Humanity, Self Preservation and Economics

Friday Question.....

Question: It is 10:00 at night on a Wednesday you have not eaten all day and your gas light comes on as you pull into a quick stop. You have $5 in your pocket and that is all you have to your name. This gas station only has three items for sale..and all other stores are closed till Friday.

1.) Gas 1 gallon = $5
2.) Sandwich = $5
3.) Lottery ticket =$5 (in the lottery bin there are only two tickets left one of them wins you ten dollars the other loses)

As you debate what to do a homeless woman approaches you and asks if you can buy her a sandwich. She has not eaten in a week and is so hungry she can barley stand.

You do not get paid till Friday and will not be able to get gas or eat till you get paid. You don't know if you have enough gas to get home and if you don't drive to work Thursday you may be fired.

You are so hungry you are salivating and you know you will not get another chance to eat for another 48 hours..

What do you buy with your five dollars? Why?

Thursday, August 30, 2007

What makes me, me?

I would like to think it is the thought in my mind. That with a longer nose, bigger dick, missing limb or 20 lbs lighter I am still me.

But I am not...

For example if I get a boob job or lose my leg I am a different person then I was before. The attention I get is different. How I feel is different. How the world treats me is different. I have different experiences and life a different life...I am a new me.

My body shapes how I interact with the world and how it interacts with me. Those experiences are what makes me, me. Some are interactions shaped by genetics, some by choice.

For example if I smoke, I deaden my taste buds limit the types of restaurants I enjoy and frequent and people I meet and hence the experiences and feelings I have. If I choice to go to the gym I take another path. Regardless of the path I take I am different after the choice then before it.

Since I make 100 decisions a day I have a 100 ways I have changed by the time I go to bed.

Have you ever ran into someone you haven't talked to in years? Had that awkward silence and looked off into space....that is the weight of change. The gulf of how different you is the space finalized by divorce...drifting...alienation.

You have not known me since I was knew me when I was ten.

There is a difference, if you paid any attention, if my life mattered to you, if I have done anything worthwhile, you won't know me after years apart. Those who know this, accept this, embrace this may enter my burial chamber for you are my friends.

Those who stare and laugh at my death bed jokes muttering same old Brian are the ones we can all laugh about as an inside joke because we know they are full of shit.

It's Showtime....

Are you kidding Monday night in Television has become where it is at. If you have not checked out showtimes new series Californication do it. Following Weeds my other favorite show Monday night is the new best night on TV.

I just love DAVID DUCHOVNY!! perfect role this is exactly who I want to be a failed writer who is a smart ass who gets a lot of tail....some of the best dialog I have seen in a show since Seinfeld. Check it out.

"It was the best of times, if only someone would have told me."

HBO Fell-off they should all go down to the set of Entourage and kiss their asses since that show is the only reason I haven't canceled HBO.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Laid to Rest

Anyone who knows me knows I am a huge fan of naps. It is almost a religion to me. I darken the room, spray my pillow with lavender, put some nice fresh crisp sheets on and blast a fan. Spending an afternoon in the darkened bliss provided by my comforter is my version of heaven.

There is a counter culture out there who does not understand or respect the nap. They will do things like wake up up after 20 minutes and ask how your nap was, as if to stop a ball game in the first inning and ask who won.

I realized this might be due to undefined terms relating to the nap. So I have taken the liberty to jot down a handy guide for people to use when dealing with my naps.

I will define it by the term and then duration I should be left alone...

Quick Cat Nap = 20 Minutes (I know this is supposed to be all you need otherwise you will feel tired later but that is horse shit)

Cat Nap = 30 Minutes

Rest for "a bit" =30 Minutes

Rest for "a while" = 1 Hour

If I say I am tired and going to rest or nap without a qualifier I am to be left alone until I wake up even if it is a week from next Thursday.

I hate telling people how long I am going to be laying down soon as you mutter a limit out loud you never will sleep as good. Hopefully with widely held defined terms we can leave out verbalizing the duration and waking up crabby.

Do these durations work for everybody else? Does anything need to be added or amended?

Monday, August 27, 2007


In defense of Michael Vick. (I am going to leave this post up today and tomorrow to get feedback of anyone who can stomach the comments that I am making)

Warning this is going to offend a lot of you.

I know it is going to be wildly unpopular to do this but I am a huge fan of doing wildly unpopular things.

If anything just for the sake of discussion I think it is worthwhile.

1.) We have to admit this is a US Cultural issue. Several first world cultures have events that are considered cruel by American standards. Bull fighting, Cock fighting, Bull riding, Snake and Alligator wrangling etc.

2.) All animals fight in some capacity for dominance including humans. It is not an accident that cocks will fight if you put them in a ring. They do this in the wild in a displays of violence that are used to court females. Animals clash with antlers, teeth, hooves, tusks in displays of manhood across the animal kingdom...yes even dogs do this battle for dominance. Even men!! (If you doubt this watch the discovery or national geographic channel instead of the teen choice awards once and a while)

3.) Dogs are special here...but they are on the menu in other countries and treated like cattle. Our reverence for the dog is more of a cultural aspect then a divine trait that they exhibit.

4.) If people do the time the should be absolved having paid their debt to society. He should be allowed to try out for the team once his sentence is done.

5.) Athletes are poor role models in general as are movie stars. We should be ashamed that these are the people we let our young people emulate. This is our cultural failing and not Michael Vicks fault. If anything a flawed role model is good in teaching that we are all human, that people have faults and that we should forgive and acknowledge others differences. This is a global world and to judge through an American looking glass needs to be examined. Here is an article that disproves that high school athletes are less likely to be criminals.

6.) We allow people to be bread to fight for entertainment in boxing, ultimate fighting championship, karate etc.. If we allow people why not and I will tread lightly here allow a less evolved species do what they do for our enjoyment. We pay millions of dollars to watch Whales mate and journey along (Even Whales in captivity for our enjoyment) So why be against cock fighting when it is just as natural? P.S Yes even in the wild animals are wounded and die during these rituals.

7.) Why bar him for gambling? It is not like he was betting on his team and taking dives to beat the spread.

8.) If you think it is cruel that is fine but you should have to justify it from a moral standpoint then that does not have an exclusionary list. Do you also eat at KFC? McDonalds? Eat rice that is cultivated by oxen plowing fields? Bet at the horse races?

I guess this just seems like a morally self righteous witch hunt in some respects and the ramifications people are calling for such as making certain breeds of dogs illegal just seems ridiculous....if I were to lobby for something I would say make all little dogs that bark constantly extinct. Its seems silly to terminate dogs that were breed to protect people too... I would even wager that more people are bitten by the little shits then the big shits every year as well and that this is a witch hunt being waged on a social economic factors and fear as much as anything...

Cocktail Evolution

Over the last three years my cocktail of choice has slowly digressed from manly to fruity here is that evolution

Makers Mark with a slash of Ice Tea

Tequila and Coke (This made a brief reappearance a few months back when Cuervo black came out)

Vodka Martinis

Vodka Sprites

Absolute Pear and Mountain Dew

Vodka Red bull

and most recently Vodka Cranberry.

This of course does not include shots, beer or morning cocktails which have remained the same for quite some time.

Here is also some shooter etiquette for those looking to buy me a shot.

1.) I love tequila...good tequila. If we are doing this as a shooter please don't buy this for me at the end of the night. Tequila should be done up front when we start drinking. It does not introduce itself well into my blood stream and stomach after a night of hard drinking. At the end of the night stick with something light and easy. May I suggest a St. Anthony, Grape Ape or Pineapple Upsidedown Cake etc.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Article in the Telegraph - Smoking and Writing

Check it out here!

Diasters to the Rescue

The salvation of the economy is going to come in the form of flooding, bridge collapses, hurricanes, and tornado's. If we wish to avoid a recession we need Hurricane Dean and a few others to roll our way. The ripple effect of destroyed houses and infrastructure creates jobs in building, lending, etc. Appliances have to be purchased, new furniture might be the only thing to save us from ourselves and hopefully too many people will not die in the process.

Prediction #123429 Wal-Mart Invents the Shopping Mall Again

Mighty Morphing Wal-Mart

Imagine this you walk into a Wal-Mart Super Store. You see a food court, eye doctor, pharmacy, grocery store, clothes, auto parts, toys, etc. Now imagine that Wal-Mart outsources each of these areas to the lowest bidder so you have several separate owners under one roof with Wal-marts only function to manage space. Wal-Mart has just reinvented the shopping mall.

They have streamlined your purchasing decisions, limited your variety, crushed competition and lowered prices and expectations...

Do you love stylish clothing and make up?  Check out this online shopping site that sells women's shoes, handbags, and great luggage at affordable prices!

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Another Post on Time....see yesterday's post where it all started.

R: But my watch stays the same...

What if time is relative? What if a person, a tree, a rabbit all experience time differently? The watch is set to the time of the cycle of the planets a planet who's duration is in billions of century's handfuls of decades.

If slowing down meant you would live longer would you do it?

What if there really was more to the following sayings then we expect

"Moments that take your breath away"

"Stop and smell the roses"

"Life in the fast lane"

I am starting to believe my professor, "Too much study on any one subject will lead to insanity."

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Speed of Time

Have you ever noticed when you want time to stop it seems to fly and when you want time to fly it seems to stop? 60 seconds gone in the blink of an eye or lasting an eternity depending on the situation?

What if we time travel all the time?

What if time really does speed up or slow down in those moments? Your time accelerated by emotion, rapid heartbeat, anxiety, passion, sweat, desire...

You time slowed by depression, chastity, melancholy, repetition...

What if this was the reason some people lived longer then others? Their clocks frozen in a state of boredom and repetition.

What if this is why so many bright stars burn out before their time....sped up illuminating the world for us.

What if we all lived to be 70 no matter what period of history and how long our personal clock lasted was simply a matter of how engrossed we were in life or how removed we were from it.

What if I told you that every time I look into your eyes my time, my life flies by..and I wouldn't change it for all the time in the world.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Act of God

I go to a religious college specifically it is the third Order of Francis of Assisi (A sect of the Roman Catholic Church) Now to be honest I love the school. I have had some of the best professors here in my extensive quest for the real holy grail, the holy grail of knowledge. I actually like the people I am in class with they are great and most days I actually look forward to going.

With that said it is well known that I am an atheist at this school often in conflict with my peers.

All of that was really just a long way to get to the meat of the post.

In our Business Communications class we are studying Crisis Management. The book actually has a section called Planning for Acts of God. It then went on to list them....hurricanes, floods, lightning strikes, tornado's etc. I found it utterly amusing that if their Deity acts it is usually to punished them or inflict pain, death and destruction. You think that the acts of a God worthy of worship would be Feeding people, healing people etc.

I also find it amusing that we are still referring to these well known natural phenomenon as Acts of God.

Monday, August 20, 2007


I hope Thomas and family are ok. It has been raining here for 3 days straight!!!

For the rest of the state it has actually been pretty nice I got a lot of reading done this weekend and did one of my favorite things....napped listening to the rain

Friday, August 17, 2007

Profile Clicks Return to Blogger:)

Now when you want to browse people on blogger you can just go into your profile and click on something you have listed on your interest and it will show all bloggers who also have that as an interest. I have been writing Google for months to return this feature and here it is:)

I also noticed not a single blogger in the world has my book as one of their favorites this kind of crushed me:(

Friday Question

What is the difference between file sharing sites like bearshare and limewire and the public library system?

Thursday, August 16, 2007


Right now the powerball is up to 210 Million dollars. Every time it is over 120 everyone in the office chips in a buck and we play. I noticed an interesting anomaly in the tickets I bought for two different groups of people yesterday. The first group I bought 10 sets of numbers all on one ticket and the second group of ten the cashier printed each number on an individual ticket. The numbers that printed all on one ticket repeated 7 numbers at least twice. The individual tickets did not repeat any numbers.

So I started thinking what is better? In the first scenario if the number 23 was not picked 4 of my tickets could not be winners, with the individual ticket it would have only negated one ticket. But if 23 was picked then I would have much better odds with the all on one ticket....needless to say I could not function for over an hour while I debated this in my head.

I think individual tickets is the way to go and that is what I am doing for Sat. drawing.

If you never hear from me again after Sat. it means this new stategy is right, I have won and I am on a beach in the middle of nowhere.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


I had an interesting experience last night when I was shopping. As I was walking out of a store I bumped into someone I knew when I was in high school. She was a few years older then me and one of the wildest women I even known. I know that there were regular nights where she would participate in 4 somes or more somes while we were all stoned out of our gores. She then hoped into a Volvo station wagon with two well dressed children and a husband who looked looked like an accountant. (Sorry for anyone who is an accountant but you know the stiff look of your co-workers) And I thought things have changed...she looked...well old.

I went home and looked in the mirror I mean really looked and you know what...I look old too...

I have changed a lot

I am not optimistic about life anymore

I judge people and I am no position to

and then

I wondered if her husband knows what she was like? Does it matter?

When does the past matter?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

New Rule: No Pigtails Over 30

Unless you are roll playing in your bed room there is no reason for a woman over thirty to have pigtails. Play to your strengths. Every man or at least the confident ones love older more experienced go with it. Show us you have been around the block not just stuck at the same bus stop you started at when you were 6.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Lessons Learned

1.) If you are going out of town for a few days it is not a good idea to clean out your refrigerator the night before and not take the garbage out....

2.) Do not stick your finger into a air conditioner it will chop it off...picture coming soon...(Don't worry it was just the tip not the whole finger)

3.) Surge protectors are a great idea. You never realize how much piddly crap is plugged into your house till it is struck by lightning.

4.) Although I love solitude it is still really nice to be around people who care.

5.) I expect honesty from everyone and return it with lies.

6.) Eating jalapeno poppers, drinking vodka on the rocks, 40 credits on touch tunes, sitting in double wide bar on a country road with some of the greatest people in the world. (Where I want to go when I click my heals and say there is no place like home)

7.) This blog is my tombstone and I don't like what it says about me.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Another Sitting

I read Rant: The Oral History of Buster Casey by Chuck Palahniuk yesterday and while I love this guy to death....even to the point of stalking him, this book was just ok...and I can't really put my finger on why. It was Chuck but it just seemed watered down or something almost like he was just going through the motions on it and even like he was in over his head at points. It might be the last of his books I purchase :(

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


"But who prays for Satan? Who in two thousand years has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"

--Mark Twain

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Buying in Bulk

It is kind of counter-intuitive but buying in bulk is rarely a good option.

Any business will tell you excess inventory is a waste of money unless it is cheaper to hold on hand then restock.

So when you purchase a good you have a good and you no longer have the that could be earning you interest or growing instead of being stored as 1000 extra rolls of Toilet Paper in your house.

The only time buying in bulk is worth it is if you live in the country and it is more expensive for you to get to the store then the money you can make from the interest you would have earned if you help onto the cash.


My own oxymoron



If there is no pulse
There is no beat
There is nothing
But silence.

But silence
Is something
an empty promise
waiting to be broken
over and over

Monday, August 06, 2007

Power and Corruption

Just a random thought for the day

We have all heard the saying, "Absolute power corrupts absolutely"

Do you agree with it?

What does that say about God who is supposedly as absolutely powerful as you can get?

Does being absolutely powerless make you pure? Some would say yes like in the instance of a baby

Friday, August 03, 2007

How to Talk to a Widower

I did something I haven't done in a long time last night. I sat down and read a whole book in one sitting. It is not normally a book that I would like but once I started How to Talk to a Widower by Johnathon Tropper I couldn't put it down. It is a novel about grief and it is at once the funniest and most enlightened look at the subject I have seen in a while.

I was instantly transported back to being 10 years old and finding out my dad just died.

I just love reading there is nothing better then just finding an hour or two to just get lost in good book. I honestly believe reading has saved my life and taught me to think and see the world differently.

Day 4:)

Still on track with my diet and exersize program still haven't smoked:)

Feeling good:)

Lost 4 pounds:)

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Still Alive and Prouder Then Ever of MPLS

Why didn't you see people on the bridge by the time the news got there? Because the drivers who were ok, the by standers, everyday people helped each other off the bridge and to safety.

There was just something in the air here...and no I am not talking about the air on CNN that made you proud. The people the rescue workers the cooperation the dignity.

It was like this huge reassurance that maybe we are going to make it as a society. Sorry maybe now I am just talking smack it has been a long night in the city of Minneapolis.

My heart goes out to those people who were not able to make it to safety.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

24 Hours

The 30 Day Challenge

I am getting old and in a depression filled funk of the last 3 years I have played a dangerous and reckless game of chicken with myself. Fast forwarding my life to the finish line to avoid dealing with the tragic mess of my life. I have thought about keeping this a secret. Rocket will be the first to point out all of the times that I have tried to turn my life around and failed but I think I could really use some support.

What is going to happen?

1.) I am on a special diet
Daily regimen
1 Bowl Whole Grain Oat Meal w\ Chopped Fruit on Top
1 Handful of Mixed Nuts
1 Yogurt
1 Piece of Fruit (Apple, Oranges)
1 Large Helping of Vegetables (Spinach Salad with two table spoons of light dressing)
1 slice non processed cheese
1 Piece of meat the size and with of the palm of your hand (red meat only once a week)
1 Cup brown rice or whole grain pasta or baked potato
1 cup of vegetables or fruit
60 -80 oz of water
I also have 200 calories that I can eat what ever I want candy or beer or wine...etc

I am supposed to eat each as its own meal so you end up eating like six small meals a day it sounds crazy and it feels like I am eating all of the time and I never get hungry although in the amount I am eating much less.

(It is so crazy to me to have a dietitian show me what an actual portion size looks so small I felt like I would

2.) Exercise 45 Minutes a day. I got this whole booklet of what I am supposed to do everyday.

3.) No smoking

This is being done under a doctors supervision

I will post the after pictures on here when I am done:)