Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year Eve

Things to remember.....

Shots are like sit-ups for your liver if you don't train regularly don't try to do a bunch in a row you will only end up in pain.

This Holiday tends to be for amateur hour for drunks, professionals stay home or at other professionals home..if everybody gets a DUI they lose the stigma.

Despite the short sentence "Happy New Year" Spelling it properly with pee in the snow takes a considerable full bladder. Make sure you have your guests perform their end of the year sign off early in the night you don't want them passing out with all that stuff backed up in their guts otherwise you are going to have mess on your hands tomorrow.

Never use the snow in your yard for ice after the end of the year sign off has taken place.

Remember it is ok to hit up your neighbors for ice if you run out as long as you offer them a drink, it is cheaper then asking for sugar and helps build communities.

It is ok to laugh at the polar bear club. These people are stupid. There is nothing exciting about jumping in a froze is cold, wet, if you need a cleansing for the new year take a shower at home and dry off...if it needs to be special pretend you are drying off with a magic towel. Then remember your superstitious self is at least smarter then the idiots jumping in the lake.

What ever you do remember to have fun. It is only life :)

Have a Happy New Year and I will see you on the flip side....

Bizzio Von Stuffensnatch

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Birthday Suit

Today is my birthday. I am a wonderful 32 years old. I have lived an eventful life and I have no doubt that the best is yet to come:)

I am looking forward to a great night and a great weekend as I watch the spedometers on my life turn over and start a new.

Love you guys thanks for all of the birthday wishes:)

Monday, December 28, 2009

Bar Burn

Kind of a cross between carpet burn and tennis elbow. Most common cause is sitting at a bar in excess of 12 hours per day over the holidays. Caused by the repeditive motion of raising and lowering a glass to your lips.


Hope everyone else had a great weekend too:)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Look Out for the Wall :)

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'
Dave Barry

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Happy Festivus

Tonight will be celebrated by getting my Window fixed

Drinking a bottle of wine

Feats of strength will be laundry duty

And the airing of greivences will be a couple of phone calls to family members

Followed by another bottle of wine.

Hope all of you have a magical Festivus Celebration of your own.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Bentley Saves the Other Half of the Block

Kind of a fitting wrap up for 2009.

Today I woke up to my car window smashed in.

Items taken: 1 and a half packs of Camel lights

$2.80 cents in change.

Around 11:15 last night my dog started going nuts so I stumbled out of bed and let him out where he continued to bark and growl at the street. When I looked out front I didn't see anything so we went back to bed.

This morning as I looked down the block to the left every car had the snow on its windows rubbed-off so someone could see in and every other car had a window broken.

To the right no car was touched. Mine was the last one and I have no doubt it was cause I let Bentley out and they ran off.

Good boy next time I know now when you do that I am going out with a shot-gun.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Happy Hour @ the Library damn I am getting old.

Some shooters @ the Kitty Cat Club I will add old and unhip to the growing list of things I am Still was a great time.


Worked on goals

Read a bit

Laid around the house resting my Mangina

Went to an office holiday party

Went to the grand opening of the best new bar ever in Mendota Heights!!


Worked for a few hours.

Timeout for Lunch

Worked for a few more hours.

Watched some football an tried to relax in preparation for hell week and the end of the year push that starts at 6:00am toay

Friday, December 18, 2009

I Got the Rock

4th Quarter, time running down, down by a few in the championship game. I have the rock, there is no one left to pass it too. This shot is up to me and I am sweating..

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Git Mo or Git Less

Isn't it curious how fast we forget?

The reason for housing prisoners in Gitmo was because they were denied their due process under the constitution of this county. The gace they were in prison was a violation of the civil rights we send soldiers to protect. They had to be held outside of this country because the very fact that they were arrested without due process of law and contained without rights afforded to all of us.

Is it funny that the moving of the prisoners only elicits the response. "are we safe?" rather then, "is it right?"

The largest part of our legal system rests on case law. We are about to set a precedent and the most vocal of the people leading us and our destiny can only say yeah it will give up rights....but it will create jobs....

Live from Waterloo IA

Bizzio Von Stuffensnatch

So apparently we will go silently..into that good night.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Ran errands



Partied my pants off in the Johnson basement bar with some friends that were in town.


Woke up: Wondered where the bruises on the back of my head and back came from.

Wondered why there were Blair Witch like patterns of Orange peels all over the house

Wondered why there was a string of lights leading from my basement window decorating the tree outside.

Wondered how I came to have such awesome friends :) Love you guys

Was a little baby all day

Went to Harry's for dinner

Went to a friends for a night cap

Passed out in a heap of hot mess


8th Street Grill Downtown for the Games

Spend the rest of the night in front of a fire watching TV it was great:)

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Deadly Combination

Under no circumstances should you ever consume the following combination

1 - Jar of Pickles
1 - Activa Yogurt
1 - Crown of Broccoli with Ranch Dressing
7 - Triscuts

The end result was a series of farts that actually smelled so bad I became light headed and dizzy. When it is -20 outside and you can not open the window the results may become fatal.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Goal Recap for 2009

Coming up on my birthday this year and I am in full goal setting mode. Here are the goals I set for 2009 and how I faired on accomplishing them.

Goals for my 31st Year on this Planet

Read 50 Books. Done 

Watch 50 Movies. Done 

Take 20 credits worth of classes. Took the Summer off so I only ended up with 16 but I did actually take part in graduation this year so that was kind of fun.
Fence off my back yard. Done 

Place a concrete patio in the back yard. Due to financial considerations this got pushed to 2010

Get a dog. Welcome Bentley  You have chewed your way into my heart.

Publish one book. Due to financial considerations this got pushed to 2011

Take Two Trips - Thinking of North Carolina this summer and Arizona this spring. Travel this year included the following – Arizona, Chicago, Delaware, Philadelphia, and seven trips to Wisconsin

Pay off another $10,000 in debt and quit being my own worst enemy it absolutely sucks how much crappy credit history can effect your job prospects, especially in this market. – Done just a little bit more to go this next year to get this full monkey off my back.

In the fall I would like to redo my basement. Especially, the bar area not really sure how much money or what exactly I will do but at a minimum I want to put my poker table up, wire the basement for TVs and sound maybe put a few small flat screen monitors up, get a few comfy used bar stools. (It kills me to see all of this stuff on Craig's list right now and not be able to afford any of it.) I would like to start having bi-weekly game again by next winter so if you want on the list let me know and I will keep you posted. – Bar is up and operational and being put to good use Still short a few TV’s and Poker chairs but we are getting there.

Try 24 New Bars or Restaurants. Done 

Sign-Up for some more sports teams. Three kickball seasons and some good times

Upload Videos to the net. (I have never done this before and it is something I want to do) – Never got around to this one but it is coming.

Register on – Done 

Pick two from the following list. (They all cost the same and I want to do them all but I have to narrow this down)
- Renew MPR Membership
- Fencing Lessons
- Join the Masons
- Renew Mensa
- Dance Lessons
- Karate Lessons
- Swedish Institute Membership – Went to the Swedish Institute
- Renew PMI Membership
- Renew Block Buster Movie Membership (F U I like it better then netflicks) – Done

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Going Green by Getting Rid of Red

Minneapolis's efforts to clean up the air are now making my commute a little easier.

In order to reduce the green house gases of idling cars the city has been slowly removing all of the NO TURN ON RED signs.
To get the annoying ones that slow down your progress go to the cities website and request that they be want to do your part for the environment...don't you?

Wednesday, December 09, 2009


Have you ever wanted to see who who comes to your funeral? What they say about you? What they do? What they don't do?

In this regard celebrities are lucky.

Scandal is the modern pop culture obsessed version. The one where you find out who your friends are and how good they keep their mouths shut.

I wonder which one of my so-called friend would come out of the wood work selling photos of me nakend in a corner covered in my own vomit to TMZ?

Celebrities are lucky in this sense, they get to find out who there real friends in in the ultimate for revealing secrets.

I guess where I come from you just keep your mouth shut.

If your friend is having an affrair and you take issue with it, you confront your friend. You don't tape him and release it to the news media.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

New Word - Buzzle

This is a new word that is a combination of Buzz and Puzzle.

Buzzle - This is the moment when you have left the pre-party after a cocktail and are headed out for the night. But you are traveling with a bunch of idiots who are very picky and no one can decide where to go, so you are just driving around....not drinking...getting thirsty.

You are trying to solve a buzzle.

The other use for the term Buzzle is when you are trying to plan a pub crawl and look for the most effective route or throwing a party and trying to determine the mix of booze to have on hand for your guests.

Then you are in a buzzle state of mind or engaged in a buzzle strategy meeting.

Bizzio von Stuffensnatch

Monday, December 07, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Went to Happy Hour @ TG

Watched the International kind of fizzled out at the end but it was ok.


Passed out.


Went to the dog park

Rebuilt a toilet

Read on the couch

Watched Shot in the one of the funniest movies ever I love Peter Sellers

Drank a bottle of wine.

Watched Observe and Report but it be in the top ten of the crappiest movies I have ever seen.

Went for a long walk with the dog


Went to the dog park


Cooked my first ham in the crock pot and it was delish.

Watched the first 10 minutes of the Vikings game and realized they were going to lose and went to bed.

Great relaxing weekend and with the holidays coming up probably the last time I can be a pile like that for a while so I def lived it up to the fullest.

Friday, December 04, 2009

Alternative Fuel - 200 Million Fat Americans

Biodiesel refers to a vegetable oil- or animal fat-based diesel fuel consisting of long-chain alkyl (methyl, propyl or ethyl) esters. Biodiesel is typically made by chemically reacting lipids (e.g., vegetable oil, animal fat (tallow)) with an alcohol.

What if we didn't have to drill in the Arctic?

What if we didn't have to import oil?

What if the energy crisis America is facing could be solved by sticking a straw into the mid section of 70% of the people who live here?

You get thin without any effort.(The American way)

You might get paid $2.00 a gallon for your love handles.

We decrease our dependency on foreign oil.

Sounds like a win-win to me.

I am ready to take the first patriotic step and donate my booze belly.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

The Kids Table - The Other Side of the Philly Experience

I am not even sure of what I said or how I said it but I know with the looks I got from around the table that I had just revealed my political naivety.

I suddenly could tell by the reduced eye contact and diminishing questions that I was now the kid at the grown-up table.

I have been through almost every grown-up situation that a person can go through, and for some reason I don't feel mature. It is a weird balance. I envision this is what Tom Hanks felt like in Big for the first part of the movie.

All grown up with the mind and eyes of a child.

I wonder when I will grow up? I wonder if I really want to? Does everybody feel this way?

All in all the trip was good, everything was accomplished that needed to be, I just let my confidence get rattled and it was a terrible feeling.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Talent - One Side of the Philly Experience

I devoured this little gem on the return flight last night. City if Thieves by David Benioff.

There is this passage in there that just summed up the day I was having.

"Talent must be a fanatical mistress. She is beautiful; when you're with her, people watch you, they notice. But she bangs on your door at odd hours, and disappears for long stretches, and she has no patience for the rest of your existence: your wife, your children, your friends. She is the most thrilling evening of your week, but some day she will leave you for good. One night after she has been gone for years, you will see her on the arm of a younger man, and she will pretend not to recognize you."

I wonder why bars always have mirrors behind them?

I was taking a good look at this old man. Grey at 32. Soft in the middle. Convinced that shaken baby syndrome can happen when life grabs to firm ahold onto adults too.

I saw the talent on another mans arm and it was lonely harsh feeling.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Nationl Christmas Tree?

Does anyone else think having a National Christmas tree on the grounds of the white house is a clear violation of the separation of church and state?

What if it was a big cross?

A menorah?

A national prayer rug pointed to Mecca?

I don't really care what religion the first family chooses to practice but do we really need to nationalize it?

Monday, November 30, 2009

Weekend ReCap

Don't even know where to start this one...had a great thanksgiving and a relaxing weekend.

Watched Four Christmas's it was good, watched What Just Happened apparetly I am not smart enough to see why this was a good movie, watched UP and loved it.

Now I am a little drunk in a hotel room half way across the country in Philly missing my boo and my little animal farm.

Long weekend...shaping up to be an even longer week...and what can I say I am just tired...Night all

Saturday, November 28, 2009

My Message in a Bottle

A blog is the modern equivalent of a message in a bottle.

Cast from island to island in hopes that someone finds it.

That someone reads it.

That someone reads my SOS.

That someone reads my message in a bottle.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Clever Little Vampires

What if the myth that you can ward off a vampire by wearing garlic cloves was actually started by a vampire who used your own fear to help him season his next meal?

Garlic flavored blood might be a delicacy? Clever little guys aren't they.

I bet if vampires were real the population would be getting uglier.


One:It takes a while a drain a body of blood.

Two: vampires have increased sense of smell.

Chances are the would not be targeting people with bad BO or lots of body hair.

I mean who would want to sit and suck on a hairy, fat person who smelled like crap?

Thursday, November 26, 2009


What am I thankful for?

You:) I know it was a sometimes rocky year but with everything in me I would not have gotten through it without you and your help:)xoxoxoxoxo

No matter how much longer it might last I am thankful that I have a job and was able to take care of a lot of financial junk this year.

I am thankful for all of the new friends that have come along this year and all the old ones that I have had a chance to reconnect with.

I am thankful I have been pretty healthy.

I am thankful for the fully stocked bar in the basement.

I am thankful for Animal farm that is my house.

But mostly I am thankful that I am still here moving on, life is a precious gift and I am thankful for all the people in my life who help me make the most of it:)


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

You Know Whose Stock is Up?

Here Comes Organizaed Crime

Prohibiton was a boon to organizated crime because it didn't deal with curbing demand just supply and when ever there is demand there is going to be someone there ready to fill that nitch.

Turning off peoples access to credit, turning them away from conventional means to get loans and financing is providing an excellent oppertunity for organizied crime in the form of an old classic called loan sharking.

You thought the spread was bad on your subprime payment option interest only loan was bad? You should see the points on these finacial transcations.

When you said you wanted Wall Street to quit getting your money, is this where you envisioned it going?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Who is to Blame for the Recession?

We often hear government, wall street, mortgage companies but I wonder why we never hear consumers? You know the people or more specifically Me. I am the reason for the recession. If you are in the majority chances are you are too.

I knew what I should have done. Save money. Live below your means. Don't leverage yourself beyond your income on intangible assets like eating out, going to bars traveling.

We have a responsibility problem in this country. We point fingers at faceless enmities like the GOP, Democrats, Wall street.

We need to look in the mirror and own up to main streets portion of the responsibility.

Easy credit was like a drug and consumers are junkies going through withdrawal pointing fingers.

They were just giving us what we wanted.

That is why I have renamed the recession to the intervention.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Pre-Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving with friends anchored around an ugly sweater theme. Always a good time:)


Fixed the sink

Did some homework

Finished The Winners Manual by Jim Tressel a little too much god in it for my taste but overall a good message.

Went to Tailgate for a few beers



Did some work work

Football watched the Vikes give it to um....Do I foresee a Colts V Vikes Superbowl?

Picked up poop

Watched Notorious it was a cool story but terrible acting, felt like it was a senior high school play.

Awesome little dinner party.

AMA's yawn

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Blogger Warning - Gifts

New laws are going into effect that may change your blogging business model.

FTC will now have the right to fine you $11,000 per instance of giving a product review that you are doing in exchange for free product or money without disclousing the relationship.

Here are the new FTC Guidelines and a couple of voices of reason on what you can do to protect yourself from liability.

Voice One - Getgood
Voice Two - Aviva Directory

Friday, November 20, 2009

Why Preventing Gay Marriage is a Civil Rights Issue

Keep in mind this example will vary from state to state based on laws and fees.

For an $85 marriage license a couple gets the following rights
- Joint property rights - If the partnership is dissolved they are split 50/50 or if one person dies the other gets the property without it being taxed by the state in most cases.
- Medical oversight if one becomes unresponsive
- General power of attorney
- Protection from testimony with contempt
- Joint car insurance \ homeowners discounts
-Increased retirement savings caps and plans

It is possible for a gay couple to get these rights BUT

- Form a partnership or corporation to protect joint assets $500 ( this type of partnership may not be available in all states)
- Form a trust to transfer assets if someone dies without having to pay taxes $1000-2000
- Living will for Medical Oversight - $300
- Power of Attorney - $200

Even then these rights are not the same or all inclusive as those of an opposite sex couple.

So it is a human rights violation in this sense that we are discriminating.

If you walked into a store and were told because you had red hair you had to pay $5000.00 for an item that I can get for $85 because I am gray by definition your civil rights have been violated because you have been discriminated against.

When one person gets legal rights and protection under the law at a discount to someone else there is something wrong that needs to be addressed from a human rights point of view.

The intent of our system, the beauty of what America is lies in the fact that all people should be treated equal under the law.

The law and the rights of the people should not lie on whether you are rich or poor, black or white, straight or gay, religious or not.

I don't care if you don't like gay people, I don't care if you are the biggest homophobic in the world. Be a patriot. Be a real patriot. Fight for those who you may never know. Who you may not like. Fight because you believe in the ideals of this country that so many have died to uphold.

Honor their sacrifice to insure that we can live in a land where we are free. Where everybody even if you don't like them is equal in the eyes of the law.

Call your congressman and demand that civil unions be recognized.

It is time to stop all the rhetoric about being proud to be an American and start being American.

It is time to be a patriot

A real patriot.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


I hate when I hear people say why buy a new stadium for the Vikings with some public money we are just helping the rich get richer.

Why buy a new stadium when it is just used a few times a year?

Lets take a closer look at that for a minute. The impact of the Vikings is greater then one thinks besides the obvious creation of jobs to build the stadium, besides the obvious employment of people during the actual football game...

Parking Attendants
Security Guards
Football players
Assistant Coaches
Water boys
Towel Girls
Cheerleaders - Dance coach
Traffic Control
People who ship the merchandise to the stadium
People who unload the merchandise
People who sell the merchandise.

Not to mention the surrounding businesses like bars and dinners,

There are...
Maintenance staff
Lighting and sound technicians
Marketing staff
Ticket sales staff
Video Editors

I believe they have a plane too right?
That has a staff
That has to be maintained

But wait the Vikings training camp is in Eden Prairie remember?

Kinesiology experts
more grounds keepers
Support functions
back office functions....

You guessed it the Vikings are a business
that has Accountants
Graphic designers

Wait a lot of these people actually live here....with their families....affecting

Tax Revenue
Real Estate Agents
Car sales
Dining Out
Bars and Clubs
House Keepers
Hair Stylist
Ground Keepers
a lot of the same people you use

Keeping the Vikings has a year round net benefit to the state of Minnesota. It's impact is felt far beyond lining Zigi's pockets.

It is the most watched event where people see a glimpse into Minnesota...a view of its people....the site of our metropolis. People come here from all over the country to watch games stay at hotels, visit the Mall of America.

It is a source of pride of unity for our state, it will be used for more then just Football games.

We don't have problems giving tax breaks to the Mall of America to build Best Buy a New Campus, to help Target or Medtronic. Why invest in something we can all enjoy?

Next game look at the side lines, imagine them empty


Imagine all the homes they live in disappear

Everything they touch above fades....

Along with a significant piece of Minnesota.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Escapism Part I of II

I wonder why escapism has such a negative connotation. We look at people who have pursuits like reading, watching movies, loigagging, playing video games, spending time in academics, drinking, laying around chatting with their friends as escapists. Dead weight. Unable to handle the real world.

When I think of escape I imagine scaling the walls of a prison. Sunlight after darkness. Words like liberation and freedom come to mind.

I am always weary of people who use the term escapist behaviors. These are usually the people making up the box I want to get out of.

I like to ask them what am I escaping from? What is reality? Inevitability the discussion comes back to the shirking of responsibility and vague terms like not living up to potential and falling short of some sort of social contract we apparently all signed but no one seems to have a copy of.

I realize that idle waste of time is an elitist luxury and that not everybody is entitled to it but if that is what I want to purchase with my work what is the problem?

Why is working hard to buy a lexus more acceptable then working hard to purchase the right to day dream all day? Why is one considered richer then the other when they only differ in what they choice to buy?

I don't know what I am trying to say here or what this is supposed to mean, but I do know that some time ago I escaped in my mind. That I am off the reservation. Wandering the wilderness. I kind of feel like Neo somedays staring at the matrix. I can see it, I can go in and out of it but most people don't know that it is there.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Full of Shit...Really

OK this might stop reading now if you do not wish to know this much about your favorite Minnesotan.

Cramps...pain...OMG I am dying.

Give it to me straight...

Stomach cancer?

Ruptured appendix?

Apparently I am just full of shit...a lot of shit...rock hard shit.

Shit that might need a little laxative push along with a change in diet and increase in water consumption.

So this coming weekend update might be very simple..

Monday, November 16, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Took a few days off from work this week to just enjoy life.

Read: The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind by William Kamkwamba and Bryan Mealer Maybe it was just the mood I was in or the fact that I have been coming out of a famine of my own but this book was inspirational to me and I have never wanted to learn more about electricity. Worth checking out.


Worked a little during the day and did some homework

Dinner Party ended up at Tailgate after partying my pants off in the Johnson Bar.


Spent the day hung over moaning. Although I finally picked up some steam by the the end of the night and got inspired to grill some steaks and cook a yummy dinner.

Watched: The Ugly Truth. I can't put my finger on it but this movie had so much potential but just ended up so-so kind of bland.


Went downtown to an Art Show where I proceeded to get smashed

Traveled to Williams in Uptown to meet some friends where I got even more smashed.

Ended up at Tailgate for last call....


Thought I was going to die. Lucky it was Sunday and all I had to do was watch football all day.

Made some chili and ate all day. Anyone have a good white chicken chili receipe?

Watched: The Goods Live Fast Sell Hard. This movie kind of sucked there were a few good one liners but overall it kind of blew.

Friday, November 13, 2009


Ok I get the whole movement about eating local for the sake of the planet but people there needs to be a balance. One of the beauties of the world is we live in a time and place where I can experience all the world has to offer as far as food from my neighborhood grocery store. I happen to like kiwi, pineapples, bananas etc and since I live in Minneapolis I am kind of SOL. I think it is good to eat local, eat sustainably but lets not get too crazy.

The world is a big beautiful place and experiencing it and enjoying the diversity of it has its own rewards too...

There needs to be a balance.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

2130 end of the World

I figure a lot of people will be disappointed once 2013 rolls around and we are still here so I decided to take action and make a new prediction that the world can be scared for....

Here it goes....

The world is going to end in 2130. Either by a fireball from the sky or ground or possibly a war, famine or disease. So says Brian in Mpls.

You heard it first here 2130 that's it.

I would personally like to see global warming come to a head and flood the entire world destroying mankind. I think that would be a fitting end for a silly superstitious humanity whose deity told them that he would never do that again but I don't feel that lucky.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

New York

Alternative New York Theory - Hairball in the Drain Plug

So millions and millions of people came to this country through Ellis Island and then never went further then New York. Kind of like a big hairball stuck in the pipe of migration. A big knot of sweaty people and concrete.

The same group of people who claim New York is the best city in the world.

Don't get me wrong New York is a nice enough place. I am a city person I just think the hype is a little over inflated.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Been bogged down with work work and school work and so we got out of doge for a little weekend trip. Drove to Appleton WI after work to visit with MB and AH.

Went to Fratellos for dinner and drinks. Thanks Chippy for the

Bar hopped down College Ave. I will have to post some pictures from the Celebrity look-a-like contest.

It was great to see you guys


Drove to Wautoma WI sat on a bar stool for 14 straight hours watching football. I am pretty sure if there was a heaven it would be just so.

Although there was a little scare later in the night...JW I am glad you are ok and hope you are feeling better.


Drove back to Minneapolis just in time to spend the day hung over raking and cleaning out gutters. But at least it is done.

Made a nice dinner of crab, potatoes and salad. Yum

Watched the movie the Proposal. To be honest I usually hate these kind of movies but this one was pretty good, yeah it was cheesy and predictable but overall done up pretty well.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Investment Tip

Everyone says the medical field is the place for jobs and investments with the baby boomer population

With that logic in mind wouldn't another good line of work be funeral services? Just saying...

Friday, November 06, 2009

Reason to Work form Home #521432

Office shooting sprees.



Thanks MB for bring this word to my attention I am hoping to enjoy a little Danish Hygge this weekend with you guys :)

One of the fundamental aspects of Danish culture is "hygge", which, although translated as "coziness" is more akin to "tranquility". Hygge is a complete absence of anything annoying, irritating, or emotionally overwhelming, and the presence of and pleasure from comforting, gentle, and soothing things. Hygge is often associated with family and close friends. Christmas time when loved ones sit close together with candles lit on a cold rainy night is "hygge", as is grilling a pølse (Danish sausage) on a long summer evening. These examples, although they do not precisely define "hygge", can give an English speaker an idea of a deeply valued traditional concept of Danish culture

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Civil vs. Criminal Courts

The difference between a civil and a criminal case is fairly simple

In a criminal case society is trying to punish an individual for breaking the rules of society. They have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that someone is guilty.

In a civil suit private parties are suing private parties for damages. The private parties win by preponderance of the evidence. (Who has more evidence)

It is why civil suits are usually easier to win.

Just thought I would share that distinction.

Busy writing papers on how to defend a business against a torte and the more I talk with people the more I realize most people don't know the difference.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Last Night

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately with all of the stuff I have to, school, stuff around the house etc. So stressed that most mornings I wake up and gag. That is right anxiety makes me gag in the morning when I think about all of the stuff I have to do. Well there is no cure for stressing about stuff like doing stuff.

Yesterday after work...

Read and prepared my home work.
Fixed the garbage disposal
Unload the trunk full of wood that has been rolling around with me
Cleaned out my car
Outlined a couple of presentations for work
Did laundry
Put all my clothes away
Cooked dinner
Fixed a lamp
and still had a nice unwinding session with a cocktail before bed.

This morning there was no gagging.

What we do today, right now, Will have an accumulated effect on all our tomorrows - Stoddard

I am working on it.

Today I am thankful that I have the capacity and will to change my life for the better.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

November ...

Election time is here I am pretty pumped to go vote today and see how the new instant run off process works here in Minneapolis.

Just like in the spring when you start to see buds on trees birds returning grass greening. I am starting to see the signs of a Minneapolis coming out of its economic funk. People smiling, being out and about, traffic is picking up. But what I am thankful for the most is that the current economic road bumps have allowed me to prioritize life in a more meaningful way.

Snow is coming but not yet:)

I am looking forward to the downtime winter provides, get some more reading done, some home projects, hopefully shut the TV off and just talk about life around a little fire with the Hot One.

They say the greatest sin a person can commit is ingratitude. It is something I know I need to work on showing and being. What better time to start then the month of Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Twilight = Creepy

Did anyone else think Twilight was really creepy? I mean I know he looks 17...but he really is 100+ years old. He is a 100 year old man that is sleeping with high school girls. Something about it just didn't sit right with me and was kind of creepy.

I mean where is the pedophile line? As long as you look young it is ok?

Friday, October 30, 2009


Everyone has a plan until they are hit.
- Evander Holyfield

This is something I have learned to a certainty over the last 30 + years. No matter how good your plan is going in you are going to get hit, things are going to change, you are going to get stunned.

Success is adapting to the new and unforeseen, being flexible and reasessing the outcome and purpose.

Thursday, October 29, 2009


I am approaching an invisible ominous marker. Fairly soon I will be older then my father at the time he died.

It is strange how time gives you hindsight.

I was ten when he died and he seemed so old and now that I am his age I feel so young and could not imagine it all being over this soon. He seems so certain so assured. I still feel so naive and uncertain.

I don't know why this has been creeping into the back of my mind lately it just has, its just a number, and age and invisible milestone that will come and go.

When it does I want you to know I no longer morn you but celebrate that day as the first day I realized how precious life is and that under no circumstances should I waste any of it. Life is too short to be petty. Spend it in gratitude. Enjoy every minute.

60 second worth of distance run.

The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.- Muhammad Ali

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.- Hugh Downs

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Five Quick Things

Bitter feeling last night as the perfect kickball season went down in flames in the first round of the championship.

The over popularization of bacon is starting to drift to the Jon and Kate end of the annoyance meter. Yeah it tastes good...but in the end it is just a pork belly.

The more I study for this course I am taking the more I want to get my JD after I finish my masters.

My over reliance on computers and spell check has left my penmanship and spelling in a terrible state. I need to start writing everyday and looking words up again. Anyone want a pen pal? Seriously.

This weekend looks to be another great time. Halloween, Vikings\Packers I am off on Friday....Can't wait.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Counter Insurgency

I have the feeling that for the sake and stability of the country it is necessary to take up arms against the spreading epidemic that is befalling our great land.

I have started a revolutionary party called the peoples opposition to the popularization of vampires.

Seriously folks this vampire movement has gone way past bed time and we are joining in unison to bring this party to an end.

You have been warned.....

You remember when everyone thought the person who dressed up like a vampire to Halloween was the lamo who lacked imagination?

The peoples revolution for the opposition of the popularization of vampires will not stop until that day is born again.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Went to a memorial service for a co-worker after work

Went home with the full intention of taking it easy and having a few drinks at home...

Woke up with a pirate costume on and a light saver in one hand and a bottle of karkov in the other.


Did home work


Went to Pepitos

Went to Tailgate

After Party at my house....


Woke up at 2:00pm...this is the latest I have ever slept in.

Watched the tail end of the Vikings giving it away.

Papa Murphys

Lots of couch time

Friday, October 23, 2009

Candians and Their Stupid Quarters

Living in Minnesota I think there is a large conspiracy of Canadians who come over the border and flood the city with their change to gain the 4% profit on the exchange rate....I can't prove it but I know they are there.

#1) Awesome spot downtown only have to plug the meter until 8 tonight then it is free, I have just enough change in my car change jar to do it....except after I get down to the last quarter I realize it is a Canadian Quarter and won't work in the machine....F@#$%.

#2) Walked into Super America made a purchase and got $1.13 back. The cashier asked if it was ok if he gave me the dollar back in quarters since he was waiting on I walk out the building holding the change he just gave me I noticed the current lottery jackpot and though why not so I walked back in...still holding the change and asked for a ticket...gave him the four quarters he just gave me..."I am sorry sir we don't accept Canadian Quarters...Do you have another quarter"

I was really proud of myself for not jumping over the counter and beating the living crap out of him. I just chose instead to stick my Canadian Quarter where the sun don't inside of the credit card reader at the gas pump

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Donation Drive....MPR

All you hear about in the new is how the ravages of the Internet and the introduction of the blogger have undermined newspapers and their profitability margins around the country.

News papers are folding....

Reporters are being terminated...

I made out my annual contribution to MPR today...a free news service that I donate money too because I feel the news service feature that they bring into my life is that valuable.

I think a lot of newspapers are engaging in a downward spiral because they are trying to pander to the masses.

You see celebrity gossip.....trash sided talking heads spouting see the news papers playing to the lowest common denominator. News via sound bites.

The problem then is this is exactly what the blog sphere for the most part already has to offer.

So as a consumer if you are going to degrade your quality to compete I have a decision to make if your trash talking quality is better then something I can already get for free.

And the answer is no..

So you will go out of business.

With the chilling exception of the Sunday paper and then I only put up the few dollars for the coupons inside...what is that sayign the coupons for soup in your paper are more valuable to me then your news coverage?

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Spreading the Gospel a Hate Crime

A hate crime, also known as a bias crime, is a criminal offense committed against a person, property, or society that is motivated, in whole or in part, by the offender’s bias against a race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, or ethnicity/national origin.

Crimes: Trespassing, assault, intimidation, disturbing the peace.

Taking a legal class right now and I just find this stuff fascinating.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Balloon Boy?


Community is outraged because of the tie up in police resources?

1.)People always say what if there was a real emergency? Well what if there was a real emergency? Could I sue a cop who was eating in a restaurant and late to a someone breaking into my house? Lets look at all of the major disasters this country has faced...what are the chances that a disaster would happen in Colorado that would consume all available resources at a given moment? Pretty fucking low.

Here is a fun game to play even in a big city or especially in a smaller community.

Go to your towns\city\county or how every your taxes roll-up to pay for your police department.

Find out how many police are employed by your tax dollars and then how many reported incidents they responded to,....remember reported is different then citations issued. Since most communities employee a police force 24 hours a day you can figure out the rate of incident per hour or per day per officer. You will get an interesting number...take my word for it. Now factor in the citation rate...cops pulling people over for speeding, no seat belts ect. you will see another interesting number.

Instead of being outraged the community should be happy. Their resources got a free drill. The community got a break from officers protecting the public by stopping people for expired tabs and reporters finally got a store they could get their head around. If you want to cover a hoax that has extorted trillions of dollars out of the America public do an expose on religion in America and leave the balloon people alone.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Happy Hour @ Azia it was pretty good.

Tailgate for a few after dinner cocktails.

Party in the basement...seriously who knew drinking @ home could be so


Day of Ginger

Went downtown to play some pool and watch the badger game.

Fat Lorenzo's for some Pizza

Back downtown to the Local to consume an indeterminable amount of big gingers.

Happy Birthday Dick ...picks from the day of Ginger are up on Facebook




Mafia Wars.....Cocktails

Friday, October 16, 2009

Muscle Memory

Repetitive motions apparently get burned into your muscle. They make certain ones stronger. I wonder if you passed a low voltage current through the muscles of a dead person could you cause their muscles expand and contact and have them reenact what they did most often?

Like shocking a dead Tiger Woods and having him do a golf swing?

I wonder if the U of M is taking on research grants?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Taking a Hint

Taking a queue from Cory I put the end of Rudyard's Kipling's poem "IF" up in my cube at work...

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

I have gotten and lot of questions as to what the hell is that supposed mean...

Here is what it means to me.

The unforgiving minute is a minute of your life you can never live again. It is time you can never get back and to fill that minute with 60 seconds of some equivalent of living it to the fullest, some activity that is worth the price gets you accomplishment, fulfillment, inner peace what ever you desire.

What you get is determined by how you spend that minute so it is important to know what brings you that sense of fulfilment.

(The Crazy 88) Bizzio vSs

PS Tuesday night that minute brought the undefeated regular season of "Redballs are Better then Blue" to a close. Lets bring on the post season.

Goals for the post season:
Kick .500
Run up on balls
Stay a little more sober in the outfield.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Whose Gonna Run This Town Tonight?

I am :)

Not gonna lie I kind of like that sound well at least the hook and the beat.

It has kind of been a good theme song lately too since I feel like I am firing on all cylinders and in a weird way the removal of stress has left me feeling some what uninspired.

Work is going good. I have been bringing in projects and getting great results leaving a lot of people really happy with my execution....but mostly I am happy with my results:)

School is off to a good start the work load is a little more challenging then I originally planned for but it is sharp and keeping me engaged, and if it wasn't challenging what good would an MBA be for you anyways then...right?

All of a sudden we have a lot more privacy\ space at home and it feels kind of good:)

I just am starting to feel solid again and I like it. I know there is still a ways to go but damn it feels good to be a gangster.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Rough Start

This morning started out a little rough...

I was running a little late

Plugged the toilet went to plunge it...

Splashed toilet water on my pants

Had to iron another pair

The towel rack broke

I was getting stressed and snapped when I shouldn't have.

This was all placed into perspective when I walked into the office and everyone was crying. Yesterday a great co-worker past away. Healthy. Vibrant. Young. Died in his sleep way to early.

Made everything else I was stressing about just seem so petty.

I love you all and I am sorry I am such a prick sometimes.

Monday, October 12, 2009


I cheered for you all season. I loved you when you were hitting .112. I was the first to rub it in peoples faces when you started coming back half way through the season. I argued for your golden glove potential.

and you repay me by the baseball equivalent of premature ejaculation.....getting so excited you over run the what do I tell people?

Sad way to go out at the dome...but I guess there is always next year.

Fan in a really hard spot,

Friday, October 09, 2009


BNN Brian News Network

September 8th

Yesterday on my way to work I noticed the pavilion at veterans park was 7:00AM!! There was a line stretching close to two blocks long of people waiting to get in. Which is odd since the park is usually empty in the morning. It looked like there was a fair going on or something.

Then I noticed the sign on the entrance....Section 8 Housing Applications.

And I got scared.

The seriousness of the unemployment and reduced employment in Minneapolis suddenly hit home.

I asked one of the police doing crowd control if this was normal and he said he had never seen anything like it.

The line was still long as I took my lunch....5 hours later.


Thursday, October 08, 2009

Good Reminder.....

If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Tale of Two Cities

Twins Tigers and a comment that really pissed me off yesterday.

"Tigers deserve to win because of what is happening in Detroit. The city needs this more then Minneapolis."


This is sports not charity and the team that trains the hardest, shows the most effort, makes the fewest mistakes and works together is the the team that wins.

Yesterday that was the Twins.

Now don't get me wrong I feel for Detroit they are on hard times right now.

But I couldn't help but think that quote and the attitude behind it was part of the problem.

Hard work, innovation, good management are going to beat hand-outs over the long run.

If teams win not because of how they compete but because of other factors every body loses...teams don't get better, the league doesn't get better.

#2) Lesson in money(City) management - Diversification

Monday, October 05, 2009

Weekend ReCap

Holy F @#in SQ@$


Bennett's in St. Paul for dinner. YUM

Independent for some cocktails...for some reason we ended up with a midget and a leprechaun?


Maxwells for the Gopher Badger Game

Tailgate for the Twins Game

Frenchman for trouble...seriously when I am skunked enough to think going to Frenchmans is a good idea it is time to just go home.


Pizza for the Twins game..went 3-3 on my picks - Twins force a play-off game on Tuesday!!

Phase I of Basement Remodel is complete

Watched Role Models - Dumb


Work -Then Monday night football(Packers Vikings Bitches) Probably will be Belly up @ TG with Ms Minneapolis if any of you kids are around. Did I mention it is Wing Night?

Friday, October 02, 2009

This Weekend is It for MN Sports!!

I don't think I have ever felt so much excitement in the City of Minneapolis as I do going into this if it would just stop raining

People are starting to pour into town for several events that promise tons of drinking, bag tossing, tailgating, and down right shenanigans.

Twins Still in it and could win the division if they win out and Detroit loses.
(At any rate it is the last weekend Baseball will be played at the dome...Lets go Twins!!)

Friday - Uptown for the Birthday boy!!

Saturday Morning - Twins Cities Marathon (I actually hate this cause they jack up all the roads around my house for these healthy little fuckers)

Saturday 11:00am Gophers vs. Badger @ the new TCF staduim - Holla - I will be downtown @ a bar hit me on the chip if you are in the area.

Saturday 6:10 Twins

Sunday Twins!! Football!!

Monday Night: Vikings vs Packers

Tuesday Night: Wild Home Opener

Can't wait to see all of my Wisconsin peeps in town for this weekend. Lets get rocked :)

Inverted Theory

Maslows hierarchy of need states that all of your need have to be met to reach the pinnacle of self actualization.

What about the starving artists theory?

Or must of Eastern philosophy?

Having been on both sides of this coin I would say that the theory is probably inverted and that when you take away all of the rest is when you truly discover who you are, what you believe, what you are capable, what you believe the very essence of self actual and fulfilment.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

The Parable of the Rut

A man was driving to visit his friend
As he approached his friends house he began to hear a wail
The closer he got the louder the wail became
As he stepped out of his car he noticed his friends dog lying in the entry way to the house
The dog was howling and wailing in pain
The door was open so he walked into the house
He saw his friend sitting on the couch watching TV
"Dude what's wrong with your dog?"
"Oh he is laying on a nail that is sticking up in the entry way"
"Why doesn't he move?"
"Cause it doesn't hurt enough."

What are you continuing to do in your life right now just cause it doesn't hurt enough?

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Moments in History

I wonder how different history would be....If

Emperor Nero had access to good private therapy or brain stabilizing chemical drugs?

What if Genghis Khan took ecstasy?

What if there was no gold in the new world?

What if Napoleon was 6 feet tall?

The order of history seems to be dictated by those who are crazy, bold and innovative. For this reason alone I get nervous when everyone I meet seems so normal and conforming.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

4:18 AM

I woke up last night and looked out the window
In my neighbors backyard there were a pack of dogs wrestling against the fence that seperates our house.
I remeber thinking it was weird I wasn't afraid
I wondered why it was light light out?
Did I sleep in to late?
Then I remembered I was dreaming
I looked at the bed and I saw I was still asleep
I have never seen myself like that before
I could hear myself snoring.
Everything went black and I woke up.

When I woke up I was so sure I would see myself watching me that I looked around the room and wondered where I went.

I checked the window for the dogs

But they were gone

At least for now

Monday, September 28, 2009

One More thing I Like about China

No Time Zones!!

I bet they never get yelled at by people in the West for scheduling meetings to early or wonder what coast they are going to piss off by scheduling a meeting over lunch. I also wonder if they get more work done since collaboration can take place across the whole country at the same time.

I don't feel bad for you people in California yeah you have to get up at six but you are basically off at 3:00 and you live in California!!

Friday, September 25, 2009

The Modern Game Night: Checkers

One of my most endearing qualities is that I can turn almost anything into a drinking game. Here is a drinking game for two people.... I now present to you....drunken checkers.

What you need:
1.) 2 Different color markers to mark the plastic glasses.
2.) Sack of plastic shot glass (You will need one and two if you don't have two separate sets of shot glasses although in a pinch you can use regular shot glasses and put the black and red chips in the glasses to mark who is who, although this method is not advised since it takes up the room for the booze)
3.) Some kind of shot. (Since this is a quick game sometime using beer instead of booze makes sense)

How to play
1.) Fill all of the glasses half full and line them on the board like you would checkers.
2.) If you jump someone they have to take the shot and remove the glass from the board.
3.) If you get kinged you get your shot glass filled to the top.

Otherwise it is played like normal checkers...


Thursday, September 24, 2009


It seems America is caught in the midest of Vampire fevor.....I wonder what Vampires dress up as for Halloween?

Maybe it it kind of like the Folson Street fair for them one day when you can walk down the street with your inner freak on the outside and life is ok?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


If you are going to make life long enemies make sure their life is a lot shorter then yours....

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

What Do You Want on Your Tombstone?

If you think about it a tombstone is kind of like a one way personal ad for necrophilia's.

Or a product freshness indicator.

Monday, September 21, 2009


Is it funny how different directions are for assembling a bike vs. assembling a dinner recipe? They have a lot on common bunch of pieces combined to make something from the sum of the parts.

Most people just look at the picture and work from there...

I suppose the difference is in the lawsuits your dinner is probably not going to sue you is you break or injure someone.


Thursday, September 17, 2009


I think the Ikea catalog should just be a 100 pages of different sized boxes.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


When building a deck or patio you should have a slope of a 1/4 inch for every ten feet to let the water run off. Failure to build in this unbalanced offset allows water to stand and the foundation to start breaking in the middle.

Sometimes being a little unbalance saves the core from lifes water collacting in the middle and undermining the entire structure.

Cheers to being least a little bit.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Jehovah Witness An Extortonist? Part 2

What if it is money they are after. I mean tithe kind of sounds like a collection. If you are trying to intimidate to gain funds you are an extortionist.

Dictionary: ex·tor·tion (ĭk-stôr'shən)
Unlawful exaction of money or property through intimidation or undue exercise of authority. It may include threats of physical harm, criminal prosecution, or public exposure. Some forms of threat, especially those made in writing, are occasionally singled out for separate statutory treatment as blackmail. See also bribery.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Jehovah Witness A Terrorist? Part I

On a recent lunch trip to Chipotle I was accosted by a Jehovah's witness on the way to get my burrito. He handed me a trusty copy of the Watchtower and told me if I wanted to avoid damnation I would be wise to read it and repent. Since this incident tended to happen shortly after the anniversary of 9/11 I did what every American should do to these people....I called him a terrorist.

If I would have had the number I would have reported him to homeland security and asked that he be monitored.

My coworkers were a little shocked by my reaction and questioned me using the word terrorist to describe this man.


Dictionary: ter·ror·ism (tĕr'ə-rĭz'əm)
The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing people, societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons.


Doesn't threatening me with eternal damnation to try to coerce me into something for ideological reasons fit the definition of terrorism to letter? A person who does this is called a terrorist...

Hence I called him a terrorist who I feel is every bit as dangerous at undermining the progress and pursuit of happiness and human fulfillment as a member of Al Qaeda .

He should be treated the same as the people we are hunting in Afghanistan.

Yet for some reason one is targeted by the entire might of the US military for trying to intimidate on behalf of his beliefs and on is given a tax exempt status...go figure.

Friday, September 11, 2009

One World Wide Currency - Kind Of

If you think about it the magnetic strip on the back of your credit card is a one world currency. The digital equivalent of the Euro. You can use your hand little cash card in virtually every corner of the globe. If I can remember right a single world currency is one of the signs of the antichrist. Granted this is a little difference then the currency underlying it, but still....I wonder if there is any religious boy-cott of Visa? It is everywhere you want to be.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Titanium Threat

This thread that I am hanging onto must be made of

The only people who obey the speed limit are old people and drug smugglers.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Broke Down Palace

The extra stress of broken stuff around the house tends to really bother me. It is like this extra dull headache you just cant take anything for.....

Our neighbors house has been entirely rehabbed over the last few weeks and it just makes me wish I had the funds to do the same.

8 things that need fixing @ Home

1.) Upstairs toilet.

2.) Downstairs toilet - To be honest these are simple set up fixes I just need to get on.

3.) Main floor sink - Some time again some one took a dinger into it during a part and bent the drain pipes.

4.) Roof - with two slots of decking repair.

5.) Stucco - Living so close to the airport inevitably pieces just fall off from the vibrations.

6.) Two window frames.

7.) Back steps.

8.) Garage door.

Who knows maybe I will win the lottery and get it all fixed?

On top of that I would love to do a patio and paint the outside.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Zippity Do Da

I am not sure about the rest of the country but in Minneapolis gas stations and grocery stores have an annoying security feature where by when you say pay at the pump the machine will go through the extra step of verifying your identity by asking you to enter your zip code....

Granted this is only in effect after certain times and in certain sections of towns but really?

I think the logic they fail to see is that if someone has my physical credit card they are probably also in possession of my physical wallet or the persons purse which you guessed it has this thing called a drivers license in it with YOUR ZIP CODE ON IT!

I just don't get it, it seems like a worthless step.

People who steal identities and make their own cards with your information are also in possession of your zip who it this really protecting?

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Free Speech Violation?

The local news paper here in Minneapolis is Called the Star Tribune.....Not my favorite paper mind you but one I usually look to for local news. With the exception of the Sunday Times and Weekend WSJ all of my news paper reading is done online.

One of my favorite features of the modern online news paper is the ability to comment instantly on any article that is published. I think it promotes healthy debate and allows for multiple takes on a given issue not only by the journalist but by all of the readers. I find myself often liking the comments more then the articles.

With that said I tend to have a problem with the comment moderation that the Star Tribune does. It removes the ability to comment on certain selective subject matter that it feels panders to bigotry.

For example Minneapolis has the 1st Muslim Congressman - Keith Ellison (DFL) (I voted for him btw) But you can not comment on any article that has his name in it.

You can not comment on any article that has the word muslim in it.

I have a problem with that.

He is an elected official.

It is a major world religion.

People should be able to voice opinion whether you agree with it or not.

Free Speech doesn't have to be tasteful, tactful, if you want to moderate for swear words I can live with that but you can't protect something that by its own definition is above reproach or protect a public official from scrutiny, a protection from scrutiny that is not extended to their rivals.

And trust me Keith can take it he did not get where he is by being shy or put off by opposition.

What do you think about selective comment moderation?

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Vengeance of the Party

8 Simple Ways to Get Vengeance on Frienamies. So you are at a party where you have a strong dislike for the host here are a few inside jobs for you to have some fun with.

1.) Leave the overhead light on or glove box open in their car.

2.) Poor honey all over their car windows and throw dirt or leaves on it. This works best in fall when the honey will freeze over night be sure to steal the honey out of their fridge first since honey is expensive.

3.) Pound a nail in one tire and pull it out a little bit

4.) If you are at their house go in their bed room and set their alarm to go off at 4:15am make sure to turn the volume all the way up.

5.) Loosen a few lids on what ever spices are in front of their rack.

6.) Fill up their laundry detergent bottle with bleach, I always get excited when I see these sitting together in the laundry room.

7.) In the toilet pour a whole bottle of dish soap, along with a fair amount of tp and a whole tampon with the wrapper on, take a wiz...leave it for the next person to flush. The soap really accents the urine and the toilet overflows onto the bathroom floor.

8.) If you are the last person standing and have a fairly steady hand you can also try peeing in the ice cube makers.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

What Not To Wear - Brian in Mpls Edition

8 Common fashion missteps I tend to make....

1.) Not ironing both sides of my pants leaving them with a wrinkly deep crease in the back. (Hey I am not a morning person and tend to get a little lazy with the iron)

2.) Wearing mismatched socks. My sock drawer is a mess and sometimes in the twilight of the morning they appear to match only to realize that the adage opposites attract isn't always true in the day light.

3.) Wearing black and brown be honest I thought it was a navy blue polo.

4.) Jean\Khaki belt with dress pants.

5.) Wearing pajamas to the farmers market and store on Saturday mornings.

6.) I thought white shirts wear ok under polos, but apparently only if they are v-necks.

7.) Wearing non-athletic shorts to kick ball.

8.) Apparently tube socks are also out now.

Chalk on the Sidewalk

I was taking a long walk on Sunday and came across a few of the childhood carefree signs of summer. Chalk painting on the side walks and children laughing and playing a game that they made up.

If I was sucker I would say I longed for life to be simpler, more carefree, like the way it was when I was 10, but I know better now.

Life was never easy or carefree.

It just appeared that way because someone was sheltering me from the problems and burdens of life. It was a mirage. A well orchestrated play.

After carrying these burdens myself for so long though I do realize that even though it got all fucked up along the way and never really ended up how it should I can at least sit back and appreciate the effort and say thanks.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Took the day off from work and headed to the last wedding of the season in Columbus WI. I didn't have very high hope since I was a little hung over from Thursday night kickball and was just exhausted but hey when we get it hot we get it hot and it was a blast:)


Got a ride back to the City and slept all day.


Went for a couple walks.

Watched Cadillac Record thought it was pretty good.

Did nothing and it was great:)

Friday, August 28, 2009

Pinnacle of Human Experience?

When ever you see a bucket list or hear people talk of taking risks and living life to the fullest with no boundaries it is usually coupled with an image of skydiving for some reason.

Why is this so often the pinnacle of human experience?

Why is this the most sought after image of life's vitality?

Don't get me wrong it is fun.

But if this is the pinnacle of human experience then I want my money back...

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Velvet Groove

The velvet groove...when you are in a rut that is comfortable finding the means to escape it and look for new opportunities can be challenging.

Overcoming the inertia to do more, try more can be over whelming.

I am in the velvet groove and I need to get out.

But it is just so velvety

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Fighting the Man - F U Eau Claire Wisconsin

Can I get a big FUCK YOU to Eau Claire Wisconsin

Situation: I was a party in a bar in downtown Eau Claire Wisconsin about a month ago. I walked out onto the street to wait for my taxi carrying a plastic cup from inside the bar.
A cop pulled up and asked where we were from. Always a red flag. Law should never be dependent on where someone is from. It should be applied evenly but that is beside the point.

I was given a $211.00 ticket for an open container on a public street.


I am 30+ years old minding my own business responsibly waiting for a taxi on a public street.

He did not even smell the drink to see if there was alcohol in it.

Set to drive to court today I called and talk to the DA who said I could come and plead not guilty and they would set another court date.

So to fight a $211.00 ticket I would need to take 2 days off of work drive a total of 8 hours.


It is not like speeding where I will accept a ticket willing cause the signs are posted and you ignore them or follow them at your own apparel.

But how can you enforce a law that a reasonable person would not even know exists?

How many places is it illegal to have a plastic cup filled with a beverage on the streets?

Especially if it is not liquor?

I would like to say F you to Eau Claire and the 18 year old prick cop who gave me that ticket. I will never stop in your city again, not for food, not for gas, not to any of your crappy attractions. For anyone of my friends who are planning future weddings or parties there I will not be coming.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Invention #254123 - Toilet\ Bathroom Redesign

In my opinion there is a serious design flaw that exists in almost every bathroom.

The placement of the exhaust fan.

The fan is usually placed above the toilet in the ceiling. The problem here is that gas that is being generated by your butt has to travel up past your nose to escape, it is also traveling through a narrow slit in your legs. A narrow slit that also holds your goods

If you can image for a second a grill. You place wood chips on a grill and put the lid on to give it that smoky flavor. Open the vent a little so some of the smell can escape and the taste can seep right into your food.

You toilet is a lot like a grill. And your feces and gas is a lot like wood chips.

But is that really the flavor you want seeping into your junk?

The design I would like to see is some kind of vacuum system that exists inside the toilet that would suck the gas and fowl odor down and away from the goods hence preserving their freshness. This vacuum could even be powered by a little green turbine that produces and stores power as the flushing motion spins its rotors.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Tailgate for Happy Hour

Cocktails @ Home Followed by a Ping Pong Tourney @ the Neighbors house....



Grocery shopping

Twins Game


Some yard work

Made spring rolls :) Yum Em

Walked around lake Nokomis

Twins Game


Kind of a low key weekend but just what the doctor ordered.

Friday, August 21, 2009


It is kind of like rock, paper, scissors except it is a little game played Car, Bike, always wins. It is nothing personal it is physics thing.

Maybe if bikers had to watch videos of heads exploding under the weight of tires they would be a little less cocky.

I can appreciate your life style choice I really can, it is just the self righteousness sense of entitlement that seems to come with it I have a problem with.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Offical End of Summer - For Me

This week marks the offical end of summer for me. School is starting again. So is fall league for kickball and if those aren't the two sure fire signs that summer is over I don't know what is.

This is kind of coming as a relief...

Don't get me wrong I had a blast this summer, it just that it was really busy and I am looking forward to a little down time.

Little recharging of the batteries on my couch, in front of a fire, with a good book, bottle of wine and a lovely partner.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Take Out

Sunday I was hung over and jonesing for some kung pao chicken. Being disheveled and unshowered for two days I narrowed my options down to a few dives I have wanted to try.

I settled on some joint on Nicollet and 48th street and walked in.

The first thing I noticed is that all Chinese restaurants seem to have the same food pictures on the wall. Like they are all owned by some single person with just varying names in the titles of the stores. It started to feel like a conspiracy but I slowly got past that and began small talk with the woman at the counter.

I left impressed, not with the food which was average at best but with the spirit of the place.

Here was a group of people who immigrated to the United States can barley speak English and they are owning and operating their own business. Why am I so scared to do the same? I think having lost everything and having fought to survive the aftermath has made me risk adverse which is a problem since I know to achieve the kind of success that I want I can't be in that mind set.

How do I get past that point of fear?


Monday, August 17, 2009

Weekend Recap


Congratulations MB and AH on your engagement:)

Rooftop of Solera

Chambers Gorilla Bar for some dancing with myself:)




Searched for my Car

Had a nice little fiesta


Slept off two days worth of hangovers

Dropped off Willy and Harleigh

Had some Chinese

Ended night with Sangria and my beautiful girlfriend

Friday, August 14, 2009

Remember the Abacus

I was typing a report of technical implementation we are doing at work and suddenly I found it odd that I am using all of this technology to record something using these letters. A system of communication although evolved that has been around for thousands of years.

I thought of the abacus of roman numerals I thought of the archaic systems we had to put to rest in order to progress.

I wonder if the same thing will ever happen with written language.

Some other way of communicating, of leaving a record, of passing on information that will supplant these measly letters.

Perhaps in a You-Tube, Voice Search activated world these feeble markings will disappear in the fog of memory just like the abacus

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Four Boxes of Liberty

There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, and ammo. If we are serious about the cause of freedom and defense against tyranny in this world we would be well to be reminded they should be used in that order.

This blog is my soap box.

Chances are if you are reading this you have your own soap box.

Billions of soap boxes around the planent.

Sometimes I like to imagine all of the posts that have ever been writen printed and staples to the trees in our citys center.

Imagine the power of that message, the power of the human thought translated via digital signals.

The blog.

The modern day bullhorn.

Your microphone turned on to the billion people online everyday.

What do you say?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

What Am I?

Not a hipster....

Not a tool....

Not a cheese dick...

Not a manly man...

Not a metro sexual...

Not a gangster...

Not a hippie...

Not a yuppie...

What am I? Some monstrous combination of all of the above?

Maybe I am one of those things but I just think I am different and special...just like everybody else.

Time for a 360 blogger feedback....

I think Brian in Minneapolis is most like the stereotype of a _________________.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Thou shall not kill?

One of the most prominent arguments that pro-life people advocate comes from the old testament in the form of one of the commandments givens to moses, "Thou Shall Not Kill." It is argued as a hard and fast rule that we should not have abortions because abortions are killing.

People who use this argument and refer to it as hard and fast are taking it out of context or ignoring the surrounding texts of the old testament.

For example Evil Bible saved the the trouble of compiling my own list where killing is actually encouraged.

Here are a few of my my top ordained massacres in the old testament.

1.) For the right to purchase his wife(the price is 200 human foreskins), King David kills 200 Philistines. (I Samuel)

2.) Elijah with gods help of course burns 102 religious leaders to death. (2 Kings)

3.) 42 kids made fun of Elishas baldness so he convinces God to send two bears to kill them. (2 Kings)

So as you can see thou shall not kill isn't really a hard and fast rule...more of a general guideline you should follow until the voices in your head tell you something different.

So next time a pro-lifer tells you that though shall not kill, tell them to go back and read a little bit more.

If they tell you that the new testament overwrites the old testament tell them to point you to the section in the new testimate were it says do not kill.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Gaining from Experience

"Provided he has the capacity to learn from them, the wisest person in the room is usually the one who has made the most mistakes."

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Drove to Wautoma and had Shorty and Wags seasoned chicken wings in the heart of Wiso


Drove to Madison - had a cocktail at the Great Dane

Headed over to a rehearsal dinner at Allen Centennial Gardens UW Campus

Headed to Quaker Steak and Lube for some Wings

Drank a half bottle of vodka at the hotel room:)

Much love to Quality Inn - Fitchburg probably one of the best hotel staff's that has ever existed.


Mafia Wars:)

Went to the Wedding & Reception - JS and Now JS thanks for having and Congratulations.

Ran into a lot of people at the Great Dane thanks for all of the drinks I love you guys.

Must have had a great time since I lost my shirt, woke up with my eyelid spit open and had a wicked burn on my


Drove home and was out of it for the rest of the day.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Sorry Guys...

Anyone who knows me knows I am notorious for not answering my phone.

1.) I am partially deaf so if it is in another room I just don't hear it.

2.) My stucco house has really crappy reception

3.) I usually have it on vibrate but then tend to take it out of my pocket alot so it makes it a moot point.

Some where over the last few days - (must have been drinking heavily if you can believe that)

I changed my voice mail message to say...

"Sorry I can't come to the phone... I am too busy waiting for you to can you please get on with it"

Missed calls included....

My school rep
My mother
My grandmother
A co-worker


One of my bosses....

I need to have someone start taking my phone from me after the 3rd

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Emotional Bowel Movement

A lot of people I know look at a Pollack painting and see a bunch of colors thrown on a canvass and quib that their four year old could do that. I look at them and and I see an emtional bowel movement. Feeling expessed in color balanced with a perspective that only life and experience can define for you. How is your emotional stoll? How do you deal with the constipation and diareha of the mind?

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Blog Grave Yards

Blog Grave Yard

So I was going through my Google reader today and I noticed that 129 of the 183 blogs that I used to follow are no longer active or have gone private. Disappeared to the blog grave yard. This kind of made me sad. I wonder what the life expectancy for a blog is or should be? Is there a point when you just take it out in the back yard and put it down?

I guess I need some good new blogs to read looking for a variety of blogs to replace some of my reading list that is no longer active.

Do you know any light hearted or thinking blogs, people that talk about innovation or inspire you to look at the world a little bit differently?

If you do send me some links...

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Spoon Fed Statistics

How often do you use a spoon compared to a knife and fork?

My breakdown over the last 7 days

Spoon - 9 times (7 to measure coffee, 1 to stir noodles, one to eat soup)

Fork - 18 times

Knife - 14 times

I use a fork twice as much as a spoon. I was told that this is directly related to my aversion to dairy and I am so much lower then normal since I don't eat ice cream or cereal, but I still have to call bullshit.

The spoon is the least used utensil and I am hoping some of you can help me prove it. Anyone interested in keeping a utensil log for me? I need more data and a bigger sample size.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Went to Tailgate for Happy hour

Went to Lucky 13 for Dinner


Drove to Eu Claire for a Graduation party and well got tanked:)


Drove Home...chill kind of Sunday funday:)

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Two Modern Women's Fashion Trends I Just Don't Get

Modern Women's Fashion Trends I Just Don't Get

Obviously written from a male point of view.

1.) Women who wear skirts with those think spandex looking tights on under neither

Seriously the beauty of a skirt is two fold there is nothing sexier then a woman's leg or a woman confident enough to show some skin and for men who are inherently lazy there is the fantasy of easy access to the goods. The tights steal away from both of these. It is like ripping the last chapter out of a book. It is the modern equivalent to wearing a visible chastity belt. Looking at a woman dressed this way just screams out in my head I bet she has shaved her legs in moths, probably hasn't showered either. I wonder why she lacks the confidence to just put it out there? She should just wear jeans.....but not these jeans...

2.) Skinny Jeans

I will admit there are a few and I mean very few girls out there who can pull these off...but no where near enough to justify a whole section of skinny jeans @ Express. You remember the 80's when we used to unfortunately roll our jeans at the ankles to make them nice and tight? Can you imagine how much you would laugh at someone who still does that? When I look at the ankles of skinny jeans I can't help but laugh for the same reason. Some designer actually thought tight ankle jeans was a good idea...its not. Unless you are tall, have some curves, weigh more then 120 pounds you should give your skinny jeans to some unfortunate person in a third world country because that is what you look like. A malnourished sixth grader.

Friday, July 31, 2009

WJPT (Would Jesus Pay Taxes?)

Would Jesus pay taxes? If he didn't hate the tax collector what would he want a pool of money collected from everyone to go towards? Maybe making sure everyone who was sick could see a doctor? Perhaps making sure the hungry and unfortunate were taken care of?

Does anyone else think it would be comical if it wasn't so sad that Welfare and Health care (next to abortion) are two of the most opposed agenda items targeted by the religious right?

I wonder along these lines if Jesus would be a Republican? I think he would probably be a socialist and I bet that would piss allot of people off...

I had a Republican friend counter the argument on Welfare with the Proverb, "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him how to fish and he will eat for a life time."

I had a good laugh at this one since tuition is rising, scholarships are being cut so the whole teaching people how to fish thing is not really in their agenda either.

I also asked him to show me where in the bible that quote was....(I always laugh when you ask for the proof when people are trying to prove things using the bible)

The truth is this is a Chinese Proverb attributed to Lao Tzu the founder of Taoism.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

It All Comes Down to This Moment

Tonight: 6:50 PM
Location: Basset Creek Vally Park - North Minneapolis - Field Number 3
What: First Round of Post Season Kickball

Who: Redballs are Better then Blue Balls ((Us) 5-1)) vs Kick Ballers ((Them 3-3))(They are on a stronger strengh of season then us)

Lets get at um boys and's kick ball time.

Repersenting for Cuzzy's w/ Drinks afterwards.

Holla @ your boy #9 Bizzio Von Rippensnatch


No I do not want to buy Act Popcorn, Magazines Subscriptions, Candy bars, Girl Scout Cookies, Wrapping Paper, Donations to Save the Wales or Contribute to your political cause when I am at home. I get enough of this shit at work, I don't need you interrupting my dinner at home too. I have this magical thing in my house called the internet that lets me do all of these things without getting off the couch to open the door for you and lie right to your face when I really want to tell you to just fuckoff.

I tried posting the following sign on my door but then realized I might have gone a little too far

"By knocking on this door you are consenting to being held against your will for in indeterminable time frame in my basement while your systematically beaten and tortured"

So instead I opted for Office Max Version that just says "No Soliciting"

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Threes Company

I can't shake the feeling that the expression third times the charm was derived from the story of Goldie Locks and the three bears although it might not make since in the original version after she eats the perfect bowl of pourage and finds the perfect bed she is ripped apart by the three bears.

Moral of the story don't stick around in a crime scene longer than absolutely necessary.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Rewinding People

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

If you ever doubt that we are creatures of habit stop rotating your tires.

Your day to day routine begins to show up. The path you take to work everyday. The same right, right, right, left turns burned into a pattern of you across the top side of your Michelin grippers.

You can look at a persons tires, the type, how they maintain them, etc. you can and almost rewind the last 60,000 miles of their life.

I love looking at peoples bodies the same way. The calluses, the wrinkles, the muscle tone, the fat deposits, the ticks, the eyes, the movement. I like to look at them and rewind their life in my head. The life that lead them to appear in front of me at a given moment.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Came home to find out the washing machine is broke and the part I need is on three week back order..F$#*$

Got my drink on @ Home while dog sitting.

Worked a little


Mowed, Trimmed the bushes, edged, went to Target and the Farmers Market

Walked the Dog around the lake.

Decided to go see who was @ one was there had a quick drink

Went to Frenchmans to see if anyone was around. No one I knew, so I had a quick drink and walked outside to my car. I noticed something dripping from my window and on closer inspection was all over my front seat. That is right in the 30 minutes I was inside someone threw up in my open window all over my driver seat. I am guessing it was someone who was part of a bachelor party that showed up on a bus there. FQ$@QE!!

Was home by 10:00 pretty crabby and had a few cocktails at home.


Woke up and went to the laundry mat. I almost forgot how fun the laundry mat can be...if you have never gone to one you should try it especially an all night one.

Washed my car, Washed it again.

Shampooed the house.

Dog Park.

My love returned and we went to Pepitos to Celebrate:)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Sunday Service Interruption

Sunday Service Interruption

I thought in this country that perpetrating a fraud against the public for financial gain was illegal.

Maybe one day I will see the Pope sitting in the cell next to Madoff and Petters.

After all everything they were imprisoned for selling was just as fictious as what he is selling.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Where is a Stake When You Need It?

"If you build a man a fire you will keep him warm for this night, If you set a man on fire you will keep him warm for the rest of his life."

I have a growing list of people I would like to extend my most sincere offer to keep you warm for the rest of your life.

I would chop down every tree in the great northwest to build a fire worthy of how much I hate you.

I would march all of your lazy, lying, victim, martyr, trashy, zealot, begging, two-faced ugly asses right into the middle of it.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program.......

Friday, July 24, 2009

Caddy Bat

As I was watching a little golf on TV I started to speculate what other sports would be like if everyone had a personal caddy follow them around.

But I guess every sport really does have a caddy. Bat boy would be a baseball caddy? Waterboy a football caddy?

I wonder if there is a market for professional bowling caddy's?


Thursday, July 23, 2009


The day after the 4th of July the city of Minneapolis took to the airwaves declaring that the pollution level of the city was so toxic with the smoke\debris from the previous nights fireworks that all people with breathing sensitivity should refrain from any exertion out doors. outdoors....

The outside was so polluted with particles and smoke that it was dangerous to breathe. I wonder why there were no health alarmists looking to ban fire works due to the possible harm from second hand smoke? I have never hear of a bar opening its doors and an entire city told to stay inside.

A lot of people were made to suffer, some of them who don't even celebrate the fourth of July. Only this was worse...they couldn't even choose to not go to the bar and be around smoke they were told that they have to stay indoors.

I also haven't heard them wanting to enact bans on bus stops, traffic lights, stores and business that are less then 25 feet away from the street. After all isn't that person sitting next to all of that carbon monoxide coming from cars worth saving...maybe a little more then the person choosing to go to a bar and drink all day?

Article from the Star Tribune

Twin Cities air quality befouled by fireworks

Particle pollution in the Twin Cities was elevated Sunday because of Saturday night's fireworks all over the metro area, the Minnesota Pollution Control Agency said Sunday.

Last update: July 5, 2009 - 8:30 PM
The fireworks were fun, but they came at a price.
Particle pollution in the Twin Cities was elevated Sunday because of Saturday night's fireworks all over the metro area, the Minnesota Pollution Control Agency said Sunday.

The agency issued an "orange" notification after light winds failed to disperse the pollutants that lingered after the celebratory fanfare and fumes. People with asthma and other health problems, as well as elderly people, were advised to stay indoors, and everyone was urged to avoid prolonged outside exertion.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Healthcare Debate

So instead of a government subsidy that would allow abortion to be included - There logic is that taxpayers should not have to foot the bill for abortions but tax payers should instead pick up the tab for subsidizing unwanted children?

Abortion = $500

Subsidizing a child for 18 years =$180,000.00

I thought republicans were supposed to be financially responsible?

The below is an article from Today's CNN

Anti-abortion congressmen take on health care legislationStory Highlights
Group vows to fight any bill that fails to exclude abortions from scope of benefits

Group cites court rulings requiring Medicaid to cover abortions absent legislation

Exclusion amendments have been struck down in two committees, group says

NARAL spokesman: "Health care bills don't reference abortion at all"
updated 54 minutes agoNext Article in Politics »

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The contentious health care reform debate intensified Wednesday as a bipartisan group of congressmen opposed to abortion pledged to fight any bill that fails to exclude the procedure from the scope of government-defined benefits.

Without an exclusion, said Rep. Bart Stupak, D-Michigan, "more than 200 individual laws" would be at risk.

"This issue is not about party politics. It's not about obstructionism. It is about saving lives and protecting pro-life Americans across the country," Rep. Joe Pitts, R-Pennsylvania, said.

"American taxpayers should not be forced to pay for abortion. Nor should they be forced to be unwitting participants as the abortion industry uses [the health care debate] to mainstream the destruction of human life into America's health care industry."

The group argued that, under the current version of the House Democratic leadership's bill, most Americans ultimately would be forced to participate in a plan that covers abortion services. They complained that amendments specifying the exclusion of abortion mandates and subsidies had already been rejected by two of the three House committees handling health care legislation.

"Without an explicit exclusion, abortion will [eventually] be determined to be included in [the] benefits standards" by either Congress or the courts, Pitts predicted. He cited the example of Medicaid, which federal courts ruled had to cover abortion services until Congress passed legislation stating otherwise.

Rep. Bart Stupak, D-Michigan, warned that any comprehensive federal health care law would pre-empt individual state decisions regarding abortion services

Don't Miss
Source: Some Democrats frustrated with health bill
"By making abortion an essential benefit and requiring that provider networks' enrollees have access to the items and services covered, this legislation would negate more than 200 individual laws in nearly every state that have stood the test of time and the scrutiny of the courts," he claimed.

Abortion rights advocates brushed aside the legislators' concerns, asserting that the issue of whether or not to cover abortion services would, in the end, still be decided by individual providers.

"Reps. Stupak and Pitts are obsessed with abortion, even though the health care bills don't reference abortion at all," said Ted Miller, a spokesman for the National Abortion Rights Action League.

"At the end of the day, we expect that the plans will decide what services to cover -- just like they do now."