Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Burning Man

A curious tradition ended last night with a new vision of the future. For the last 6 halloweens a group of men have gathered in black robes across minnesota and held a burning man ceremony. What is a burning man ceremony? It is kind of like confession for pagans. It comes from the tradition that the dead come back to walk the earth and you can make peace with them. Of course we have modified it slightly to include drinking and partying. Everything you have done in the past year good or bad is collected and thrown into a fire pit where it is burned and you are forgiven and freed from it. You burn all of your awards and all of your failures and are to start again new. Traditionally I delete my entire blog and start over, but not this year. I didn't need a burning man ceromony to start over this year. This really was an entire year of starting my life over from scratch.

This year I started my personal life over again from scatch, single, re-connecting with long lost friends.
This year I started over from financail security to bankrupcy, I reset my lovely credit score to something laughable...seriously the bank laughs at me and it will be another 4 years before i can even open another credit card
This year I bought all new furniture every piece
This year I bombed out of school and had to reassess what I want to continue doing in both school and work
This year and especially as of late I have been confronted my own mortality and am having to reaccess my life stlye and future
This year I made the first real mistake of my life that a burning man ceromony can't help me with. A mistake that threatens the start over and that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Last night I followed my heart and I woke up happy exactly where I wanted to be, it was how my life should have felt all along.

I didn't burn or erase anything last night. Maybe I make the sme mistakes over and over again because I forget. Because the journals of my torment are not there to remind me to make better decisions.


Say Rah! said...

if you want a credit card, i bet my bank would hook you up. we help people in similar situations. and by "help", i mean screw. seriously, if you get one of the offers, run!

Rocketstar said...

dude, good post. You have gone through more in the last year than most go through in 5. Now why you chose a lot of that change, like you said maybe you forgot.

But it's good to see that things are leveling off man.

theresa said...

There's that cheesy saying of "you don't know where you're going if you don't know where you've been". I believe in that.

It's good to hear that you're happy :)

lauren said...

It is wonderful that you can look at your life realistically. Sometmes, we only think about the good things or the bad things that happen to us; we forget to consider the other side of the coin.

A lot of people in your position would take the "I'm the victim" position. It's great that you are recognizing your role in both your failures and your successes and are happily moving forward. Congrats!

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?