Monday, August 28, 2006

Army of Darkness.....Almost

Ok so…I was sitting around reading for class yesterday and I got the call, “dude I am still out of town can you let my dogs out”. I thought sure because I needed a break and they are good dogs. So we went to the dog park and played and I went to put them back at their owners house. I was petting them good by when I noticed little bugs on them which I think were ticks about this same time a bee strolled by on its way to a hive under the awning and I got a sweet idea. I put the ticks in jar and went home and got some more jars I then put the four tics in four separate jars and then caught bees and put the bees in the jars with the tics.

My thought was this I was going to mate the bees and the tics to create an army of bugs that would sting you and suck your blood and then invent little bands that I could slip on them to control their minds..To be fair I am now drinking heavily at this point. Now as I watch the bees and the tics I started to get excited because one of the bees appeared to be “interacting” with the tic but on closer inspection I think he was just stinging the tic to death. Needless to say this endeavor failed for a few reasons

1.)I am not really sure they were tics now that I have seen a picture of a tic
2.)I don’t know how to tell the sex of bees and tics
3.)Just like people you can’t just put two beings in a room with a little Marvin Gaye on in the back ground and expect things to happen (On a side note I did pour small amounts of alcohol into the jars and turn some music on to get the bees and the tics in the mood)
4.)I need to make tics bigger first so that they will not be scared of the bees.

So in closing I was unable to create my army of darkness, I got a little drunk and most of my school work is unfinished.

PS. Bees get really pissed when you put them in a jar with booze and shake it

PSS. Entourage was not very good last night


Rachel said...

This made me laugh. A lot.

And bees get pissed anytime you have them in a jar and shake them. I don't think the alcohol matters a whole lot.

Rocketstar said...

Funny shit, I don't know where you get the time for this stuff.

Rachel said...

p.s. it amuses me that your ads are all about alcohol testing.

dawnmarie said...

oh my god. i'm laughing so hard at my desk right now. ee. i just got a sametime from a coworker asking if i was ok.

you might want to add 'cannot breed different species together' to your list.

oh my lord, i'm crying i'm laughing so hard.

Megsta said...

hehehe - looks like the school year's off to a great start!!!! maybe you can get some extra credit for your little experiment!!!

Say Rah! said...

you're def. not studying biology, are you? i love this post!

Brian in Mpls said...

The sad part is that I was pretty sure this was going to work when I started

Ren said...

First of all now I understand your bee's text this morning.

Second, how odd is it that I trapped a bee in a bottle last night and found it amusing to watch the bee try to sting the plastic bottle. This was happening while I was sitting outside eating dinner and everyone probably thougth I was a freak because I would periodically dip a straw in water and put it in the bottle so it would drown.

My co-worker woke up at 2am wondering if the bee had died, lol.

Matthew Anderson said...

You crack me up, Brian. Why would that work?