Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Watch Your Step

I step out of nowhere and every where.
Wishing my body was riddled in scars
Deep lacerations
Whipping marks across my back
A missing eye with an unhealed grove that stretches,
Vertically down my face
The imprint of an axe long ago notched in my skull
I wish that my body looked like my inside
So people could see the wounds, the hurt
Just beneath a button up shirt
The lessons learned that still crack open and bleed from time to time

I escape into a dream
Running I jump
Staying in the air a few seconds longer than I should
I jump a again and stay in the air even longer
My third jump catches
I am weightless in the air
Peal my hands from this rides safety bar
Eyes close; release and excitement flood a tired body
I remember being little and riding my bike
I hit a rock and my handle bars turned and I was thrown forward
There was this second when I let go
When there was nothing I could do
No control
I was going to fall
There was freedom in that second
There is freedom in a lovers arms
Freedom in controlling your density
Freedom in fighting on
Freedom in surrender
There is freedom in this dream of reality I step into
But I have lived enough days
That I know Freedom is a dichotomy
That this dream is a paradox
That most people won’t understand this
I step out of nowhere and every where.

4 comments:

Megsta said...

thats deep hun - stay up!!!!

lauren said...

Very deep... you okay?

Brian in Mpls said...

Yeah in all fairness and honesty I am doing great:)

I woke up for the first time in a long time today and knew exactly what I wanted....it was an amazing feeling

Megsta said...

I must say you have a very interesting way of sharing your happieness.... I hope you're able to make it all happen, now that you know what you want!