Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Lighten Up...

Ok I get it. How about a post on how to fuck girls that work at Target. I am talking about the headquarters now not the stores..

This was handed down to me by the only real playboy I know. If there were 10 girls from Minneapolis on here he has slept with at least one of you.

This is of course a stereotype and there are exceptions to the rule but as a general premise Target hires country girls who are\want to be very cosmopolitan. It sounds bad but it is a business model that works. They want to sell the allure of fashion to the masses who have not alot of money. So if it is Target girls you want and why wouldn't you as they are probably some of the hottest in Minneapolis. Here is how to bag some.

1.) Go to the Local or Brits on a Friday. They are from the country and despite their city looks never wander too far from their safety zone.

2.) Wear nice shoes and a nice watch, it doesn't even mater if the watch is fake since women can't tell the difference, but make sure the shoes are legit...for some reason they have radar and can always tell about the shoes.

3.) Go at 7:00 you will get there before the clean-up guys come in and they have been there since 5:00 so they have a little buzz.

4.)Country girls like shots.

5.)They are all looking for a modern man so if you can flatter her with questions while somehow working into it that you built a deck today(something), read a classic, and went shopping at insert some high end store for this shirt...or what ever you have on you are in.

But say you weren't really sure if it looks good and that you are terrible at picking this stuff out...this will help you two ways. 1.) Girls love to fix guys. 2.) It will give her a chance to talk about fashion and her self. When she is done talking about her self say "but it is easy for you because you don't even have to try to be beautiful." After she is done blushing ask her if she would like to go down to Zeno or someplace where it is quieter to talk. (Separate her from the herd)

If she says sure go hit that. If she says she is going to stay give her your number and tell her you are glad to talk to her and that you are going to take off cause this meat market scene is not for you. (Or get her number)

She will think you are a good guy and call.

Move to the bar down the street you are now on clean up hours...

Next Week...

How To Bang Financial Advisers at Ameriprise

15 comments:

Brian in Mpls said...

For the record I am really not this big of a prick. (Anymore) I saw and went through the dark side of this behavior and will never go back. My days being "that guy" are well behind me and I am actaully truly content with life....but there was a time.

Rocketstar said...

Nice.

JP said...

Seriously that is exactly how it works! I've seen it many times..

Now lets go do a jag bomb!

Muffy Willowbrook said...

I'd be interested in your take on Financial Advisors at Ameriprise. Not that I would know...

I'm just saying.

My husband picked up plenty of chics from Target (before he was my husband, of course.) He's pretty much got the same MO.

Bill From Gainesville said...

It also helps if you pull their hair and stuff, No wait, that was the third grade and it didnt really help anyways.....

Max Morland said...

Spot on definition of Target girls. God bless that company, they do a great job of making downtown look good.

Mags said...

You can be "that guy" if I get to be "that girl"

;)

JK. I'm glad you're not a prick anymore.

SARAH said...

brits is lame, unless you're looking for some fishnchips. then, ya gotta go.

oestrebunny said...

We don't have Target :(

Mags said...

You have an award waiting at my place. Come get it later. :)

Boriquaz said...

always the informative one lol

crushthemall said...

I'd be willing to write up a "How to stick it in a T.G.I. Friday's waitresses' pooper" article for you.

It's a quick read.

Colette, aka Lil Sis said...

LMAO Well I'm glad to hear you're not a prick anymore, if you were you'd be a smash in SC. LOL

Mrs. Chez said...

Yano I really think you may know my Brother lol

Spirophita said...

I think this might be specific to Plaza North Target, not City Center. That's where all of the Target geeks are located. :) All of the hawt country chicks are in the other building. LOL.