Monday, September 14, 2009

Jehovah Witness A Terrorist? Part I

On a recent lunch trip to Chipotle I was accosted by a Jehovah's witness on the way to get my burrito. He handed me a trusty copy of the Watchtower and told me if I wanted to avoid damnation I would be wise to read it and repent. Since this incident tended to happen shortly after the anniversary of 9/11 I did what every American should do to these people....I called him a terrorist.

If I would have had the number I would have reported him to homeland security and asked that he be monitored.

My coworkers were a little shocked by my reaction and questioned me using the word terrorist to describe this man.

Well......

Dictionary: ter·ror·ism (tĕr'ə-rĭz'əm)
n.
The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing people, societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons.


Now...

Doesn't threatening me with eternal damnation to try to coerce me into something for ideological reasons fit the definition of terrorism to letter? A person who does this is called a terrorist...

Hence I called him a terrorist who I feel is every bit as dangerous at undermining the progress and pursuit of happiness and human fulfillment as a member of Al Qaeda .

He should be treated the same as the people we are hunting in Afghanistan.

Yet for some reason one is targeted by the entire might of the US military for trying to intimidate on behalf of his beliefs and on is given a tax exempt status...go figure.

8 comments:

SS+1 said...

I ALMOST feel like I'm going to hell for laughing my ass off at this. Good work, B. Good work.

Narkissos said...

lol lol lol.......
spoke my mind brian! couldn't have said it better myself........:)

Rocketstar said...

It's the irony and ridiculousness of Christianity that it wasn't until meek, mild and loving Jesus did hell become eternal. In the old testament, disbeleivers went to hell and died but it wasn't until the new testament that hell and the torture in hell was made ETERNAL.

Compulsory love, you have to love it. Love me or you will eternally be tortured, nice.

I wish I could have been there man, nice job.

Aunt Katherine said...

I can tolerate (barely) those who practice their faith and leave me out of it, but not those who believe it is their faith to convert. In addition to appling all sorts of intimidation techniques, they judge. Makes me crazy. Makes me wonder if they are on commission or something.

Jenn'fer said...

We keep them away with our dogs... and a "beware of dogs" sign on the front gate. Keeps the GOP away too, which is a bonus!

Sornie said...

It's only right that someone finally get in the face of a Jehovah's Witness. They are annoying and I don't know of any other religion as active in trying to recruit members. They might as well be a cult in my eyes.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Thats a nice way to turn that situation around! so what did he say to that?

Anonymous said...

+1 for original thinking, but you probably don't know they DON'T BELIEVE IN ETERNAL DAMNATION.

So I don't know what he could've been "threatening" you with, unless he was rolling that Watchtower up real tight...