Sunday, March 19, 2006

Differentiation is another form of Conformity

Musing on Identity and a reoccurring theme of being afraid to fail big. I struggle with why these themes reappear over and over in my journal because compared to most people I have a much higher risk tolerance and greater awareness of self.

Tramp stamp, Tongue ring, Tattoos, Pants that don't fit, too much make-up, look at my hair color, pull over sweater, Abercrombie and j-crew made this; me. I am sloppy, I am a gangster, I am trendy, I am preppy, I am Gothic, I don't care if you judge me, but please don't, I am a rebel, I am different just like everybody else.

I mask what the world sees to superficially distinguish myself. I surrender the larger fight of distinguishing myself from the world with the only thing I really thought. I fail to compete because I am scared, I surrender to exceeding lower expectations. I have chosen to retard myself because I have been afraid to fail.

I can pick my own label for the world to use on me, Why then do I pick a label that makes it so hard to participate in the discussion of real change, gain real prosperity. Is it so when I try and fail I will have an excuse not to feel bad?

don't hate the player hate the game. Why then shall I be called a sell out for corporate attire? This is how I get a seat at the table. This is how I move my piece on the big board. This is how I make dreams come true. This is how I make change, or is this how they change me?


Dem Soldier said...

Wad up man....

Not really......U just playing the game right.....

Brian in Mpls said...

Whats up Dem. How was spring break?

Rocketstar said...

I don't know if I understand... but I have often had the same thought.

People try to "be different" by appearing different, which is a totally different issue.

We are all different, you don't have to try to be different.

Is that it?

Brian in Mpls said...

Pretty much. I guess I am just struggling with why we feel the need to be different on the outside, then lettting the difference on the outside effect the way that we see and interact with the world

Megsta said...

Oooo I like that.."This is how I make change, or is this how they change me?". Does it really matter who's doing the changing if the results are in your best interest?
Birthday suits are a good way to be true to your very self - no masks there - just the realest of the real (that is if you're not into self mutilation aka plastic surgery....)
The way I see it - all the other stuff is just accesorizing, decorating of the self, different packaging so to speak only lets us all explore the many peices of ourselves -trying on things until we find a comfortable fit and a look that makes us truely shine!