Thursday, March 09, 2006

I blew to speak

If you need a visual you can picture Mt Vesuvius eruption covering the city of Pompeii under three feet of ash.....except this wasn't ash. Every object in my room is now preserved for the ages as if time stopped at 9:30 last night.

What caused the slip of will power? Some hot women? Porn? Combination of both? No I am afraid in the end my will of steel succumb to nothing more than boredom.
Here are some notes from the last eight days I had jotted in my journal.

"All of a sudden I am really bored between 10 and 11pm"

"I might have to quit drinking too or invest in a straight jacket and straw....wonder how long it would take for me to go insane?"

"I think it is getting that possible? Maybe it because I am drinking a lot of water? Note to self investigate how hydration effects the size of the male member"

"I have a head ache (<- in the context of blue balls that is funny) But I really do have a fucking headache"

"I thought going to the gym would help relieve the stress but it seems that Mrs Universe padgent is in town and all of them like to work out in real skimpy clothes at Balleys"

"I have been working out a lot I have actually lost 3 lbs"

"I have been going to bed thinking about killing people to avoid thinking about women and now i think I want to kill somebody and then have sex with them"

"I can't sleep....I am afraid of my dreams and waking up in a puddle"

"OMG I was just flirting with the nasty girl from the store and liking it way too much"

"There is some truth to that line in something about Mary about going out with a loaded gun - This is the second time in as many days that I have acted like an idiot in front of women."

"Looking at my erection and not being able to comfort him I now know what a mother who is tied to a dock must feel like watching her only child drowned."


Rocketstar said...

Great post, one of your best.

It must have been a wonderful 5 seconds, hehehehehehehe.

Megsta said...

good lord... it's time to pick something else for lent

you are too funny

Rachel said...

Maybe you should try to give up drinking next year.

Brian in Mpls said...

Oh my Rach, how vulgar of a suggestion..I should wash your mouth out with soap!! or hands in this

Rachel said...

lol... Sorry.

I do think it would be an interesting challenge for you though.

Say Rah! said...

yeah, brian, some of us have the willpower to give up both. plus pop.

sorry you caved, man. now i feel so alone.

Dem Soldier said... great one.....

I hear U on the Mrs Universe padgent...I wonder why ever chick I see at the UofM gym is the most fit/hot...? Where are the one's that need the gym?

theresa said...

So Brian, I've gotta ask, how would you feel about going to The Incredibles on ice tomorrow night at the Target Center?

Brian in Mpls said...

Incredibles huh? Ahhhh no I will pass skating scares me. But let me know what is up after

theresa said...

hee. we're not really going. Rach and I just wanted to see what your reaction would be.

FACE said...

nice try, I hope you tasted a little of it. I heard if you hold a load for longer then a week it will taste like cantelope!

dawnmarie said...

nice try brian.

and when i was in chicago, we sw an exhibit on pompei, so thanks for the visual, because it was way more tan 3 feet of ash, there was lave and boiling mud that covered the buildings up to the rofotops.