Friday, February 10, 2006

The cheese stands alone

I starting at the single life for the first time in my adult life, and I have to admit I am feeling a little daunted, overwhelmed and well frankly a little insecure. I have gotten a little pudgier than I have been before, I am a little more of a mess with a few more storage rooms of baggage. I am an introvert who has never been alone. Please don't misunderstand me I am in no rush to date or find somebody or anything of the sort, but I find myself starting to think about what I would want in my partner or partners if I am

If I gave you my superficial metadata ideals they would probably be a woman on the taller side...since I am taller and things tend to not, um, fit right if she is too short, nice legs, dark hair and of course incredibly horny, a massage expert, bi-sexual, open minded and loves to wait on me and do housework.

To say what I really would like is probably a lot harder to describe and find...but she is smart. In a book sense and in an I did that one time at band camp sense.

She has set goals and has achieved enough of them to know that she can do what she puts her mind too.

She has taken risks and been both burned and successful and has learned from them

She has been hurt...she has learned how to talk about being hurt.

She will take me to task on things. Don't let me just spout nonsense. I have never been a fan of the smile and nod women..speak up..but she knows how to do it respectfully

She is a little more outgoing than me. I tend to go through these periods of seclusion and it helps to have someone there to pull you out. She is good in social settings.

She is not religious at least not in the lets go to church, baptize our children, marry in a church kind of way...this is a sticking point as it usually signifies two different philosophies on life that are often in my experience incompatible.

She has some passions and hobbies that are different than mine that she can teach me.

She wants to have kids.

She doesn't laugh at the size of my penis.

She understands being a partner isn't always 50\50 we can carry the load, burden for each other at times, we work together.

She will cook with me..I love to cook, also love to go out to eat and drink.

She can let me have my space...sometimes I just need to go to the cave alone to recharge that is just me...just how I am wired

She knows that I am a mess and she loves me for it.

I can be open about what I am feeling and it is not going to be seen as a weakness or used as a weapon.

There is a quote in the book 100 years of solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez has come the closest to what I would like to find "Both looked back then on the wild revelry, the gaudy wealth, the unbridled fornication as an annoyance and they lamented that it had cost them so much of their lives to find the paradise of shared solitude...they enjoyed the miracle of loving each other at the table as much as in the bed"

This might take a while to find so any help any of you can be of help in the unbridled fornication department that would be greatly appeciated. Please feel free to send or give booty I am in the book.


Anonymous said...


Brian in Mpls said...

why what?

Rachel said...

Good luck in your search...

Rocketstar said...

I wouldn't worry about it.

Just think of all the "alone" you will get, that would be nice.

You will have no problem getting "company" ;o)

In my single days....oh how I pine for those days now.... I found that the internet is a good place to start. It is a good tool to meet and weed out those folks who would never work.

You should be looking forward to these times, it will allow for great reflection as well as a new blank chapter in your book of life.

Plus, I can now vicariously live the single life through you.

Rocketstar said...

Hey ananymous, is that you Kedar?

Megsta said...

Here's wishing you wild and enjoyable ride through singlehood! I love that book by the way - only a couple chapters into it so far - thanks again for the recommendation!

dawnmarie said...

I'm so glad for you. so glad.

now we'll let you hit on girls.

theresa said...

I met you one time and have full confidence that you'll be fine.

Rachel said...

I have to agree with Theresa here. You'll do fine.

Anonymous said...

I think that is great that you have moved outside of the comfort zone and are not afraid to admit what you see as insecurites. You are a witty, smart, attractive looking guy who does have a lot to offer. You probably know this, but it doesn't hurt to have it confirmed.

It is also a good thing that you know what you want. Having said this I was wondering what you have against wanting to get married in a church, or believing in religion. I don't know you very well, and I was wondering why you feel this way.

Anonymous said...

Uh, nevermind about the religous thing, I was reading some previous posts, one in particular, "Walk of faith to foot steps of reason." Enough said. :)

Brian in Mpls said...

Thanks Ladies:) This all means alot:)

theresa said...

that's what we're here for Brian.

Say Rah! said...

just get 14 pets to keep you company - that's what i did.

all jokes aside brian, i met you, like t and rachel, for approx. 2 hours, but i still think you're a pretty great guy. fun as hell, for sure.

you have a lot of the qualities that i find extremely attractive in a person (there's no need to read anything into that, it's just a generalization).

take your single time, it's important and necessary. you might find that you actually enjoy it sometimes.

... and sometimes it will suck. but one day, you'll find someone who fits all of your crazy ideals (i have a list 6 pages long, so i'm not laughing).

ok, that's enough warm and fuzzy talk from a virtual stranger.

i just wanted to say good luck, bri. you'll be just fine.

Brian in Mpls said...


Kedar said...


You know it, we all are there to help you through this phase of life though knowing you, I know you will do just fine without our help.

You are a great guy, with talent and I have mentioned this to you many times- I am waiting for that day when one of your million ideas comes alive...

Good luck!!

and the earlier anonymous is not me.

Kedar said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kedar said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
lauren said...

I find this really interesting....

I like your list. I think we all strive to find a partner who has many of the qualities that you are looking for.

I posted a similar list in my early blogging days and received a lot of sh!t for trying to "define" my ideal man. So in an effort to give a little of that back (and because I've learned you like to argue), let me play devil's advocate.

What would you do if you met a girl who has some of those qualities, but not all? Or (gasp!) at least not the most important ones? But what if she still made your heart race, your palms sweat and made you think of all kinds of crazy things you'd like to do with her. Would you totally write her off because she doesn't match your list?

I think it is great to know what you want in a partner...but I also think that by defining your ideal "someone" too closely, you might miss out on a really good thing. Think about it a little :)

Brian in Mpls said...

If the right girl popped up I would no doubt make an exception. I am just wise enough to know now that there are issues and boundries that I would talk about early on in a relationship before they became too deep. I guess that is what I have learned ....i need to talk and listen:)

Brian in Mpls said...

PS Kedar I love

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