Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I Play Fetch with Myself

Motivation has been a struggle off and on with me for my entire life. I go through ebbs and flows of building modern marvels to loving the couch, bon-bons and my bath robe a little too much. From passionate pursuit to I don't give a fuck in .o6 seconds. I have tried a small arsenal of pills in my life aimed at making me a model human being, curbing bouts of depression, adding focus, reducing stress and evening out my behavior, but all of them have failed. Probably because I am not physically sick and more normal than I would like to admit. What I have taken to doing with some great success is dangling my own carrot in front of me. I have learned to play fetch with myself. Inspire,throw and go or dream, plan and do however you want to look at it.

And you know what? For ever longer periods of time I have felt peace, calmness inspiration and joy.

Here are some of the things I do to inspire myself.....

1.) School...I love it. Every class I leave I look at the world differently I see the world fresh, it makes my dreams vivid and my mind wander to new places. I am graded there is a finish line and objective that I see being achieved.

2.) Books...Same reason as above

3.) Free First Saturdays at the Walker....Something about art that makes me see the world differently...Through values, composition, position image etc.Walker Art Center

4.) My sketch pad...B9 pencils, watching the light fall on an object. Shaping something with my own hand. It is an original piece that I matter how shitty it is.

5.) Eat at a new place every month:) Experience the taste and texture of the world.

6.) Drink a Good bottle of wine. With friends sometimes and sometimes alone.

7.) Happy Hour:)

8.) Naked women. Come on your beautiful.

9.) Write in my journal every night.

10.) Go someplace and take a picture in each direction and write a story about it.

11.) Do moment in time writing. Something about doing them in the moment. What's it like outside? What sounds do you hear? Just being present in what I am writing.

12.) Streak naked even if it is just through my living room. Culminated in the penis flap heard me!

13.) Put my head phones on and I said.

14.) Long walk by myself.

15.) Text Twist or Chess!!!

16.) People in my life

17.) Setting goals and then knocking them the fuck out of the park.

18.) Burn everything I did once a year and start over. If you haven't done it in the last 12 months it doesn't count. This means every year on October 31st I burn something that reminds me of all of my success and all of my failures. Mine is on Halloween just because I love the energy of that night. Then I get back to work! I plan for the next year. Don't rely on past success! Anybody can be a one hit wonder, but not everybody can come back.


Rocketstar said...

It sounds to me like you have a plan and it is working.

Not that I do or have done it (as I do not have the patience), but have you looked into meditation?

dawnmarie said...

Dude, I heart the Walker. Man, I don't think I've been there since I moved back to the cities. *shame*

Brian in Mpls said...

I meditate in the shower everyday. Right in between the time I wash my upper torso and

No, seriously I think all of this is a form of meditation for me, although not in the yogaish traditional sense.

yellowandorange said...

Wow, this post is amazing. I absolutely love this idea:
10.) Go someplace and take a picture in each direction and write a story about it.
I need to get a digital camera!

Brian in Mpls said...


It really is kind of a cool thing especially if you have a digital cam that does panoramic oftern can you see all directions at once:) Like you can if all the pics are infront of you.

I also try to make sure it is plain or not super exciting in and of itself so i have to use more imagination...if that makes sense?

Dem Soldier said...

Walker Art Center is the place to be in TC.....

Megsta said...

nice to know you still love that dance move.... (12)

Brian in Mpls said...

Mesta..i think you were there for the birth of that love