Friday, July 25, 2008

Alternative Theory #698523 - Black-market for Polar Icecaps

When enough of the polar ice caps melt they will reveal huge pipelines that span the entire globe. Pipelines that have been slowly blending and stealing polar ice for years and shipping it to slushy and sno cone vendors across the globe in an underground black market for ice. These pipelines are controlled by the SSC (No I am not talking about the bondage guidelines for Safe Sane and Consensual) I am talking about the Sno-Cone Cartel.

Armed with ice picks and some of the worlds finest gelato they hide in plain sight among amusement parks and carnivals.

Buying sno-cones and slushies directly contributes to the vast climate changes we are experiencing as well as putting money in the hands of criminals.

I am going to immediately petition congress for a task force to crack down on this unauthorized ice harvest that is depleting the nation and contributing to global warming.

Right after I enjoy this Blue Razz Sno-cone


Rocketstar said...

Send me some of those mushrooms brother.

SARAH said...

Sno-Cone Cartel?

h*dizzle said...

pshhh global warming is a myth!hehehe