Monday, May 19, 2008

Check-Out Girls - Stuck in the Middle

Sometimes when there is a really cute cashier I like to go up to the counter and buy two boxes of magnum condoms and some KY- Jelly and strike up some small talk.

Unfortunately as soon as I leave I have to throw them away since I only fit into those in my dreams.

The KY can come in handy in the following manner though if you apply it liberally to the entire toilet seat the next person who goes in there has a good chance of sliding their bum into the middle of the seat and get suck. This is very painful and embarrassing for them but what do you care you are outside with a drink laughing your ass off.

You can also soak all of the TP with it too or do just the TP alone...

Either way this will improve your entertainment factor by 15% on any given night.

9 comments:

Dawn said...

I was at my in-laws the other week and realized their toilet faces the door.

thought of you.

Spirophita said...

Don't people look at the toilet seat before sitting down?? YUCK.

I wonder what a cute male cashier would think if I came through with the same purchases, only several bottles of KY.

scargosun said...

Spirophita - what you need to achieve the curiosity level that Brian did is the several bottles of KY and those strategicly shaped battery operated electric toothbrushes (don't tell me you guys never noticed this). That way he'll know you are not actually meeting Magnum man.

Brian- I actually live almost within rock throwing distance of Fort Washington.

oestrebunny said...

You must have a total nightmare to live with during college!

Thomas said...

Back in the mid-90's, when I went with my girlfriend to get groceries, I would get a kick out of walking around the store with a pack of Magnum condoms in my hand. To what end? Just to get reactions. While waiting in line, I would turn many of the tabloids over so that I (and others) would not have to be exposed to their trashy headlines.

SARAH said...

your stories are so funny.

Kristi said...

Yay, the Brian I know & love has returned!

Lady Luck said...

Hmm. I think I have some KY downstairs. I think I'm going to have some fun at work this week.

Kali said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Remind me to check the toilet if I ever visit!