Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Breaking Up With Friends

Anyone else think it is weird that we do not have break-up protocol for friends? Most of the time they just kind of drift in and out like breezes in our life. Like we owe more of an explanation and a formal act of finality to the cum-dumpster we saw for a few weeks then we do to some one we spent years with growing with.

I mean my friends never make unreasonable demands, they never say you can't have other friends, they don't expect too much, they like to hang out and have fun, they tend to bring booze when they come over and they usually chip in when it is time to foot a bill. Yet, I can go for weeks without calling them they never complain.

I admit sometimes it is necessary for you to break-up with them. Like when you walk in and they are doing "things" to your pets or if they are stealing from you or other such stuff. I my friends get away with murder before I end the realtionship while I have left people, I have formally ended relationships with women, because they talk funny.

I don't really know where I am going with this....It just stuck me as weird when I was thinking about it today.

1.) Do you break-up with friends?
2.) Does sex make the difference of who we need to formally break up with?
3.) When does a relationship friend or otherwise require a formal ending?
4.) How do you break up with a friend?
5.) Why would my standard of friends be different than my standards for who I date?
6.) Why do some realtionships require formal start and stops and others don't?

Maybe this is a dumb thing to waste a day thinking about, but it is just one of those customs that seem to bother me...

Like there is something bigger at work underlying the whole thing that I can not quite touch on yet.

15 comments:

EC said...

I don't think it is a dumb thing to think about at all!! I think breaking up with friends is a lot harder to do then with girlfriends/boyfriends because there isn't that one big fight ususally.

I hate to break up wtih friends, and rarely do I do it. I take the chicken way out and just stop calling or emailing them and don't answer when they email me. But for you, it may be better just to tell this person the way it is and hope for the best!!

JP said...

I've often thought I need to break up with friends.. BOTH males and females. BUT have learned to tell them when they do something stupid and talk through it.

But the ones that you can't talk with, I just ignore and hope they go away after some time. I know real mature!

Kyra Sutra said...

I've been more saddened by the loss of friends than boyfriends.

Bill From Gainesville said...

I have a friend who lives in Nashville. We hang out one weekend a year, either in Gainesville, or Baton Rouge/NewOrleans (the FLorida vs LSU weekend) we really only e-mail stupid stuff the rest of the year but on those weekends we pick right up like when we first used to live in the same city 20 years ago...Try that with a girlfriend... Not going to happen

Bill From Gainesville said...

I have a friend who lives in Nashville. We hang out one weekend a year, either in Gainesville, or Baton Rouge/NewOrleans (the FLorida vs LSU weekend) we really only e-mail stupid stuff the rest of the year but on those weekends we pick right up like when we first used to live in the same city 20 years ago...Try that with a girlfriend... Not going to happen

Bill From Gainesville said...

Damn the double post...

Colette, aka Lil Sis said...

I aggree sometimes it's harder to lose friends than it is significant others. Thing is, when I lose "friends" I realize that they were never really "friends" in the first place. So no, I don't think that there should be a protocol, and no I don't think that sex should change that; only if you both know what the next day entails from the beginning. ;)

Kristi said...

LOL I love this topic. I have formally broken up with friends who were undeserving of my friendship and after I'd had enough of their selfishness and their unjust demands of me. However, I've informally broken off male relationships by simply ending the communication. I think it just depends on the peeps you're friends with and the peeps you date/hang with....Anyway I won't go on about that.

I'm here 'cause you've been tagged. Check out my last blog! LOL.

SARAH said...

i went through a breakup with a friend once. it was creepy-weird and almost more dramatic than any actual relationship breakup. i think i was content to just let things drift, but she made a production about it.

interesting concept, i agree. i think because they were friends, we feel the need to make our points understood - make them understand that we feel they've wronged us. if it's a casual fling, we may not have the emotional connection [past or present] that warrants the effort. i dunno.

Tara said...

You and I must be in sync somehow because I have recently been evaluating the same topic in my own life lately.

I think just as any relationship we encounter in life that there are some "friends" we have to let go of whether it be because that friend begins to take advantage of you or even more simple, you just out grow each other.

I was actually considering doing a similar blog to this, but you beat me to it :)

Shannon said...

All my friends expect me to disappear for weeks at a time... I've sadly trained them. My friendship is a half-time custody proposition at best.

Ma said...

hmmmm I wonder if females with mostly male friends who break up with a friend and then reconciles differences is required to perform make-up sex?

Rosari I.E. Soendjoto said...

Hi Brian.. thanks for inspiring me by this blog. Actually at the moment i'm awfully low because of a cruel perfect betrayal from a very closest friend of mine who i really trust... :-) your posting inspire me a lots... ;-)


cheers....
rs

Kali said...

It makes sense to break up with friends. They deserve that at least...

However, I know nobody who has actually done this.

*Ren* said...

I had a girlfriend pretty much break up with me because she didn't want me to become a mother and not go out with her. She told me not to call her any more when I told her I was having Isabella.

I'm glad she broke up with me. What a loser!