First, it is necessary for me to define the difference between two terms for the the purpose of this post. Single vs. Solo.
When you see a group of girls or friends out on the town they may not be with a partner in some respect but they are with a group of people and not by themselves so while they may be single they are not solo or out alone.
When you travel for work you are alone or solo you might have a significant other somewhere but you learn to function solo. You have two choices get trashed in your hotel room by yourself or go out on the town by yourself solo.
It took me a little while to get used but once I did it is incredibly liberating. Your whole experience in your hands. I now do not even think twice about going to a movie or bar or out to eat alone. Other people seem to feel pity for you for some reason when you are out by yourself, I have no idea why? I pity the people getting trashed in their hotel rooms or sitting alone at home watching TV because they don't have anyone to go out with and are afraid of the solo trip, but that is besides the point.
When you see a woman at the bar alone or solo you have the potential for a beautiful thing. Most solo woman at bars are not single hence the distinction. They usually fall into a few categories.
1.) Single New In Town and Outgoing
2.) Married Husband Travels and they are lonely
3.) Single Mom needs night out away from the kinds couldn't find anyone to go with but fuck it I need a night out.
4.) She is traveling for work and looking for a good time.
All of these go well for a one night stand. A good one since you are both there solo making your own decisions aware of what you want. It is beautiful.
When you see one see one you will know them.
1.) They are looking around but not at the door like they are waiting for someone.
2.) They are not looking at their watch and their phone is not on the counter.
3.) They order a drink right away.
If you were there before she was let her almost finish her drink. It takes the edge off and gives them a bit of time to get nervous. Then send a drink over and make an air toast but then go about your business if she continues to make eye contact point to an empty chair next to you and motion for her to come over.
I tend to always do this because it is fairly easy to spook a girl by invading her space and being creepy.
Talk
Have fun
Do what you both came here solo-ly to do.
We all got needs don't be a hater...
16 comments:
Your next book should be on picking up women.
The problem is guys don't take advice. All the money in this genre is to be made on telling girls how to pick up guys ...or more realisticly how to keep the guys ones they pick up.
Great now if only I was into Chicks!
I take all your advice! This is actually something I want to work on, Last week when I was in Hartford for work I went to the bar by myself.
Can't a woman just go out to enjoy a drink or two alone and NOT be looking for something else? As you say, "both there solo making your own decisions aware of what you want"?
brian EXACTLY!!! - truth be told its hard to go out all by yourself and sometimes the night can go horribly wrong. but sometimes it works out excellent and you are better off for having done so. Its so sad for the stay in the apartment/ hotel people.
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and Muffy, OF course a woman can do that, but it cost a little bit in the form of having to reject guys that try.
Thanks for the instruction. Now I will know what to do when I am looking for a one night stand. One thing, how do I get rid of that ring tanline thing where my wedding ring is?
I know that can be a turn off.
Solo is fun for awhile, but eventually it gets old. I've gone about just about everywhere solo--part of once being quite the lush and knowing bartenders everywhere. I never slept with strangers, however, unless they were the bartenders or on the Internet. I know, I know, I was pathetic.
Oddly enough, now I think the best pickup spot for singles is at Whole Foods. Health-conscious non-violent organic love? It's popular. Plus you always have a unique story about how you met that doesn't involve a bar.
Oh, yeah...
is it wrong that I am turned on by this post?
No it is not wrong;)
*sigh* I'm sick of going solo.
I think you nailed the difference between the two. When 'single' women go out as a group, they just want attention and aren't looking to score. However, a 'solo' woman such as myself is alway creeped out when a drink suddenly appears. I always expect to see a guy with an unbuttoned shirt, hairy chest, and a gold medalion. You may want to rethink that part...although, if it gets your itch scratched, what the hell?!
I am absolutely number 3 - I have no problem going out any time day or night to grab a beer and play some pool. As long as there are some sports on TV and people to play pool then I enjoy going solo... plus it helps that no one sees me as attractive so no one really judges if I am single or solo, lol.
And by the way - is that like the symbolic gesture? The air toast? LOL - I have had that done to me once and I thought it was hysterical - me, I'd rather have the guy come up and invade my space, lol.
dead on, brian. it's takes a special kind of confidence in a woman to fly solo, and though i may be biased, i think it's damn sexy.
of course i still don't sleep with strangers, but that's my deal, not yours. :)
I think this might be the first Public Service Announcement on how to pick up chicks. :)
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