Friday, February 01, 2008

Announcing the Flaming Pile Awards

On the same level as the Razzies I have started my own award show program.

It's called the Flaming Pile Award. The award itself is a brown paper bag filled with tootsie rolls and flaming cheetos in resemblance of a flaming pile of dog shit. (I plan on bronzing it after I get enough sponsors) This award will be given to all of the flaming piles who make our life what it is....

The categories

Flaming Pile In the Service Industry
-Worst Service in a Restaurant
-Worst Service in a Bar
-Worst Cab Driver
-Worst Customer Service on the Phone
-Worst Customer Service in Person
-Worst Sales Person
-What am I missing?

Flaming Pile In Personal Life
-Biggest Jackass on the Road
-Biggest Asshole Customer
-Most Annoying Co-worker
-Biggest Loser Boy Friend\Husband
-Biggest Loser Girl Friend \Wife
-Worst Friend
-What else?

I would like to get a website running, take nominations and then film people getting the award and broadcast it on U-Tube.

Anyone want to be on the advisory panel or feel like making a website and history?

Anyone want to nominate someone? I know I could win a few of these from a few of you...


Rachel said...

I'd like to nominate Qwest for worst customer service on the phone. They fucked up my internet service horribly when I moved. Still cheaper than Comcast though.

Fig said...

I would like to nominate the Dementor that lives across the street from me... for Worst "Mother in Law". She has made my life a living hell for the past 3 years and is so very deserving of an award.

Brian in Mpls said...

You live across the street from your mother in law? I am so sorry...

Rach what up:)

Boriquaz said...

Issues lol

Muffy Willowbrook said...

Another category could be: Biggest Dueche. Just a general - all around - pain in the ass. For many reasons.

I love judging people, so consider me for the advisory panel.

the108 said...

Sign me up! I love being pissed at people!

terri said...

You have to add worst department store service, and I'd like to nominate Wal-Mart and K-Mart employees because on the rare occasion I actually suck it up and set foot in those stores, it never fails that there are idiots working the registers (Walmart) and that there are not enough idiots working the registers (K-Mart.)

Fig said...

Oh OH! Terri is right... K Mart is baaaad. When I was there last Christmas, an employee was walking slowly past the aisle I was standing in... he was about 5 feet away from me... he made eye contact and farted loudly... never breaking stride.

Methinks he'd had egg salad for lunch.

And yes... across the street... she sometimes waves at me from her kitchen when I'm eating breakfast at my table.

Thomas said...

I don't focus on the negative, so can't answer any of these questions for you, Brian. Sorry.

Have a great weekend, however, and enjoy the Super Bowl!

Here are some things we might expect to see on Sunday (courtesy of MSNBC):

During the postgame celebration, Randy Moss will be told he can have his extension. He will then ask, “Contract or restraining order?”

The 1972 Miami Dolphins will be unhappy after the Patriots go undefeated, but they’ll pop champagne anyway because they have nothing else to do these days except drink.

Michael Strahan will have no impact on the game whatsoever, but he’ll make it sound later as if he should have been named MVP.

Tom Brady will be named Super Bowl MVP, but he’ll decline the trophy, explaining, “I don’t have any more room for it."

Tiki Barber will try to use the fact that Eli Manning wasn’t able to lead the underdog Giants to a history-making upset of the unbeaten Pats as evidence that he was right about Eli all along.

Rodney Harrison will become the first player in Super Bowl history to be accused of a dirty hit during pregame warm-ups.

Brett Favre will be interviewed during the game and announce that he isn’t ready to make an announcement.

At one point early on, the officials will stop the game and huddle to discuss the issue, “What the heck kind of a name is Plaxico?”

Randy Moss will catch everything that is thrown to him. But because he will be double-teamed, only one pass will be thrown to him.

Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, two level-headed broadcasters with experience and wisdom who offer reasonable opinions and analysis, will call the game. Fox officials will hold an emergency staff meeting to discuss how something like that could be allowed to happen.

Thomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
*Ren* said...

I think this is a great post!! would publish this and get some awesome answer/results!! Check it out!

Nicole said...

I absolutely think I can think of someone for every single one of those awards. hehehe
I'm game if you ever get it up and going!! I'd definitely be there.

me said...

I'm stealing your idea and making this trophy, soon.

Brian in Mpls said...

omg ...we are all in this is going to be fun