Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Asshole and Heart A Rainy Day Story

Walking through a parking lot recently I was trying to avoid eye contact with a man who was struggling to replace his windshield wipers in the rain when he unavoidably called out, "Hey do you know any thing about wipers?"

Brianinmpls, "Why yes I know that they work on an oscillating motor for the purpose of moving water out of the line of sight on your windshield, they are also usually made out of a metallic material with a backwards facing rubber blade and can be purchased in sizes that are inch increments from 15 to 25 inches at a local supply store."

Feeling that this information satisfied the condition of the question I then continued walking.

Man, "So are going to help me?"

Brianinmpls, "Sorry I only do one question a day."

The sad part was that as I left Target he was still out there messing with the blades. I thought of just sitting inside and having some Starbucks and waiting for him to leave but I was in a hurry and in some of the most uncomfortable silence that one can imagine I installed his wiper blades for him.

9 comments:

lauren said...

Brian, sometimes your posts are so melancholy...

Thomas said...

If there were such a thing as heaven, you'd definitely be going there. :)

Brian in Mpls said...

mel·an·chol·y

1. a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression.
2. sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.
3. Archaic. a. the condition of having too much black bile, considered in ancient and medieval medicine to cause gloominess and depression.
b. black bile.

–adjective 4. affected with, characterized by, or showing melancholy; mournful; depressed: a melancholy mood.
5. causing melancholy or sadness; saddening: a melancholy occasion.
6. soberly thoughtful; pensive.


I like number 1,2 and 6

Rocketstar said...

You crack me up man.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

Softie...

h*dizzle said...

i feel ya! i am the master of awk

scargosun said...

Ok, so...did you really say that or was it just poetic license?

Robin said...

Glad you changed them. For a sec there I thought I'd have to give you a virtual bitch-slap.

ps. I know about the melancholy thing. Hope you feel better soon.

Reggie said...

I'm not sure about the whole melancholy thing, or the need to virtually bitch-slap you...I just got stuck on the fact that some GUY didn't know how to change his wiper blades...sheesh, even I can do that!!