Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Black and White and Newport Lights

I swung into a gas station on the way out to the bar to purchase a luxury items these days that comes in the form of Camel Light cigarettes. There were two gentlemen in front of me conversing with the cashier as I stated my order and waited for the transaction to complete.

Gentleman #1 " How come his cigarettes are .50 cents cheaper then mine?"
Gentleman #2 "It's cause they know its mostly black people smoke Newport's and it is another way they keep us broke."
Cashier "Fucking right white people get all the breaks."

I know at this point I should probably just pick my cigarettes up off the counter and continue on my way.

But I have never been very good at following that little voice in my head.

So I decided to have a mini-seminar on the spot about economies of scale, the effects of pricing to mass markets and value added processing.

For some reasons these three gentlemen and the crowd formin around us refused to buy into the theory that if you sell more of a product you can gain efficiencies and lower price or that the adding of menthol requires extra processing and additional cost that is passed onto the consumers.

Gentleman #1" If menthol makes it cost more how come Kool's are .75 cents cheaper then Newport's."

Brianinmpls "Perhaps the tobacco used in Newport's is of better quality then Kool's, or perhaps if you feel Newport's pricing strategy is unfair you could switch brands then you would be paying .25 cents less then I am paying and this entire conversation would be pointless."

In the silence that followed this remark I quickly realized that I was the only white person in the store and tension was rather getting thick.

In the interest of not getting my ass kick or being the cause of race relations collapsing across the Midwest I decided on an appeasement exit strategy.

I said, "But you are right fuck whitey."

And walked out of the store.

* I hate appeasment I think alot of what is wrong in our country is because we tell each other what we want to hear rather then deal with underlying issues.
* I hate that I have been smoking again.

18 comments:

Sarah said...

the whole time i was reading this i was thinking "brian's smoking again?. sorry to hear that part, dude.

Rocketstar said...

I love you man

Muffy Willowbrook said...

You have brass balls, Dude.

And sorry to hear your smoking again. How goes the running?

Brian in Mpls said...

Either that or I am stupid. I think the fact that I am pretty big and can throw a punch as good as I can take one tend to get me into some funky situations that get close to the point of anarchy but don't slide over that point very often.

Running these days has been reduced to walking and sprinting from base to base during kickball....Go Runs.

Thomas said...

Good one, Cracker. :P

houstonmacbro said...

Smoking is bad. But in reference to your point, I think we all (at times) do and say things that make us fit in (who really wants to be an outsider?).

We do it at work, we do it to get work, we do it often times to keep work.

It doesn't make us bad people, as long as we know which way the compass REALLY points. And sometimes, when we are able ... we do challenge the status quo and maybe, just maybe, things begin to change somewhere down the line.

Mags said...

I had the same thought as Sarah: "Brian's smoking again?"

And then I came here to comment and cracked up at Tommy's "Cracker"

scargosun said...

Smoking = bad

Smoking and taking on black guys who are mad at whitey = death

houstonmacbro said...

Not all black guys are mad at 'whitey'. LOL

Robin said...

As smart as you are, you are D-U-M-B to start smoking. Not only for your health but pumping money back into Big Tobacco..Shame, Shame, Shame.

Glad houstonmacbro isn't mad at whitey. Gives me hope. That frustrates me to no end.

houstonmacbro said...

Yeah, we are not mad at whitey, but we can get pissed at 'The Man'. (Can't we all though?)

:-)

theresa said...

Most people I know understand how I feel about smoking. That aside, you have no idea how much I LOVE that you gave an economies of scale lecture at a gas station. LOVE.

I really am a nerd...

Bill From Gainesville said...

I dont smoke so I didn't know some cost more then others but I also didnt know there are white people cigarettes and black people cigarettes. You are a wealth of knowledge...

me said...

man, watch out. smoking causes cervical cancer. :-)

Ma said...

i can't believe it's been (over) 2 years since I was smoking and you weren't and now we're both not either....
DAMNIT you besta stop again and stay stopped this time :)

Spirophita said...

That makes two of us. Fuck stress.

Kristi said...

Yea I thought you had quit....

And, fuck whitey, on the real.

houstonmacbro said...

LMAO