Thursday, January 22, 2009

Pop Goes The Weasel

"Usually we don't let people go this long so if you start to feel your skin tightening or get really hot just press the stop button."

About three minutes into my tanning session I start to have these horrible thoughts.

I imagine my cock is going to burst open like a brat on the grill. Leaking its juices all over the standing-up tanning machine floor.

It is a disturbing image.

I try to calm myself down by remembering that we ran around naked in the sun for millions of years and that I probably had some genetic mutation that would not allow this to happen.

But I do feel warm.

"What was that noise?"

I am starting to hyperventilate cause I can't find the shut off button, my dick is going to blow up and I can't breathe.

I finally found the shut off button and stepped out of the machine and just started laughing. What an

I did get back in and finish as soon as I caught my breath.


Ma said...

you should really just visit tropical destinations and stay out of those fry boxes..... they ARE scary!!!

Thomas said...

I would never go to a tanning salon. Your skin turning color is actually the body's reaction to getting too much light. Perhaps this was what your subconscious was trying to tell you when you had those disturbing thoughts.

Kristi said...


Rocketstar said...

I always try to find the hidden camera because you know those bastards have'em.

Bill From Gainesville said...

You talked alot about your johnson in that post and as comfortable as I am with my own non gayness, (like seinfeld says not that there is anything wrong with that) it still made me uncomfortable, but not as much as this next sentence: I am glad your DICK didnt explode! ----
signed, a guy who is comfortable enough with his own sexual identification he can write a sentence about another mans dick.

Reggie said...

I would have been concerned about burning my johnson too, if I had one. Fried female nippledge isn't very pleasant either.

Funny shit tho.