Saturday, January 31, 2009

Banking Bailout - Jefferson Calls It 200 Years Ago

For as much as goverment officals like to envoke the name of the founding fathers to justify their course of action I doubt any of them have actually studied the founding fathers and the principles and warnings laid out by them.

"I sincerely believe... that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies, and that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity under the name of funding is but swindling futurity on a large scale."

--Thomas Jefferson to John Taylor, 1816.

Friday, January 30, 2009

What Ever Green Lantern

Super America
5:10PM Tuesday

Woman at the counter checking out her items
3 - 20oz Bottles of Diet Coke
2 - Packs of Cigarettes
1 - Pack of Gum
1 - Tombstone Pizza (Pepperoni)
1 - Grab bag of Cool Ranch Doritos

When asked if she would like a bag she replied, "No, I am trying to save the environment."

Does anyone else think that is super funny?

I really wanted to to put her on the offense on how a plastic bag was going to make or break the environmental foot print of her purchases but I just didn't have mental energy to do more then point and laugh at her after a my long day at work....

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Product Idea #5874521 – Failed

Status: Failed (At least so far I have several modifications to experiment with for another proto-type)

I attempted to make a decorative stain glass window that would hang in your window and function as a solar collector of power that would charge your phone.

But I think the tinted glass was reflecting too much of the radiation spectrum needed to charge the solar cells. Kind of like a sun glass effect? Either that or it was too thick for penetration.

My business idea surrounding this would be to make a website where people could upload an image, the image would be pixilated into a stain glass pattern and that pattern would then be imprinted onto a solar panel and shipped to the buyers. This would then be placed into the window of who ever it was purchased for and collect solar energy in a battery pack that would be at the base of the frame. Items could be then plugged into that frame base which would have a little ledge capable of shelving a phone or some other small appliance.

People I would target
Gadget Enthusiasts

Anyone have any ideas for how to improve the proto type please let me know I would love to work with you on this…

I have been using the 0.9V 400mA connected in series (most cost effective approach for the model) this could also be another flaw. Ideally I would like to use the bigger panels with more translucent quality so that the stain glass effect would still be present... any ideas?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

UFO Hunters and Something about the Benediction

Isn’t it strange that people who believe that out of the trillions of visible stars that there are probably billions of planets just like ours that could have evolved life capable of sending its inhabitants into space like we have, these UFO hunters and believers are portrayed as crazy fucking crackpots?

However, people who worship an invisible god capable of handing out eternal bliss and or damnation are seen as upstanding, credible people with high levels of integrity.

Can you imagine if a UFO hunter gave an uplifting benediction before the president was sworn in?

People would have thought the president and everybody participating in the event was less credible, even childly foolish...

That is what I thought as an atheist watching the swearing in ceremony.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Stickler - Ice Cold Revisited

I believe if you advertise ice-cold beer, that the temp. of the beer should be south of 32 degrees Fahrenheit or below 0 degrees Celsius. I do not think that is too much to ask. There is nothing wrong with saying cold beer, but ice cold implies a specific temp.

This news was lost on the liquor store attendedent this weekend when I notified him that he should take down his deceptive advertising campaign since I could obviously see that the temp. control was set at 44 degrees which is not ice cold.

He said that the beer was cooled with ice so it was not deceptive advertising….but then that would be ice chilled beer not ice cold beer.

This is probably why I do not have many friends…

Monday, January 26, 2009

Maybe Ma was right?

I am a

Thanks to one of my new blog roll favorites Live and Learn the Hard Way. I am honored that anybody actually reads this let alone thinks that any of my mind drippings are interesting. Thanks for the nod and right back at you:)

Here is what is said about the Premio-Dardas:

"This award 'acknowledges the values that every Blogger displays in their effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values with each message they write.' Awards like this have been created with the intention of promoting community among Bloggers. It's a way to show appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web."

Here are the rules:

1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who granted it to you, along with his/her blog link.

2. Pass the award to (15) other blogs that you feel are worthy of this recognition. Remember to contact each of them to let them know they have been chosen as recipients

You guys might have to give me a while for this or I am going to take the easy way out and say anyone who has a link on my blog is interesting in some way otherwise I wouldn't bother to read or promote them. I love them all... You are all winners in my book Congratulations.

Weekend ReCap


Went to Jakes for dinner.

Watched Traitor - It was ok.


Read: A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah - Decent.

Went to the Summit Brewery Tour Figured I have live in the Twin Cities long enough and it was about time. The tour was pretty quick and you got three beers out of the deal so all in all not too bad.

Then the trouble started.... Eagle Street, McGovern' much for the wagon Bogeys... Black Out...


Watched: The Women - It was ok. I think it was the first movie I ever have seen that was an all female cast. I don't think there was one man in the whole movie and that was kind of interesting but other then that just kind of bland.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Product Idea #25412531 - Submitted

(This is my 29th idea sent in to a company after I have experimented and determined that I lacked the ability to produce and develop the product far enough along to get a patent and the first idea that I didn't get anything but an email from the Company......come on this idea is gold!! Most companies send me gift certificates, products, coupons, personal telephone calls, personal thank-you letter,I have gotten bottles of wine, thank you calls from CEO's..and from P&G of all people an impersonal automated email. It almost makes me want to stop innovating and inventing or at least stop sending ideas to P&G)

Product Idea Submission -

I am wondering if I could submit a product idea to your company

I have been experimenting at home on a limited basis with a solution that goes into the iron instead of or with an amount of water that steams and freshens fabric as you iron. I have wrecked a few irons experimenting and figured maybe I should leave the research to the

I think this product would be great especially if it contained a medium amount of starch so you wouldn't have spray cans and bottles in the way when you iron.

All you have to do is fill the iron with the solution and go.

Hopefully your company would be able to give this idea some consideration.

Brian Johnson

XXXX XXth Ave South
Minneapolis, MN 55417

Frebreeze and P&G's Response

Your Question has been Submitted
Just wanted to let you know we received your message. We're glad you got in touch! If you have a question or your comments need a reply, we'll get back to you shortly. Stop by again soon to see what's new!

The reference number for your question is '090112-001965'.

Please note that all advertising claims and copy for this website, as well as the website's Privacy Statement and Legal Terms and Conditions, are directed solely to residents of the United States. If you are from outside of the United States and still want to send us an e-mail, your message will be forwarded to the appropriate consumer relations group for your geography.

Actual Email From P& G

"" to brianinmpls@gmail.comJan 16
Thanks for contacting us.

We love to hear suggestions about improving our products or creating new ones; your comments help us decide what we'll do in the future. Be assured, I'm sharing them with the appropriate people in our company.

If you want compensation for an idea, it's important to know P&G can't accept an idea for consideration without a patent or a patent application. Once an idea is patented, the only way to submit it for review is through Connect & Develop on the home page of our website, Just click on the Connect & Develop icon near the middle of the page, then Submit Your Innovation.

Hope this is helpful.

P&G Team

P.S. If you're a mom who likes learning about new products and sharing your opinions about them, we'd love to hear from you! Join Vocalpoint to preview and influence new products and services, as well as receive coupons and samples you can share with friends or family. Membership is free, always voluntary, and your privacy is guaranteed. To join or to find out more about Vocalpoint, just click on


Friday, January 23, 2009

Evolution of Civilization

For some reason I cant picture the ancient Romans doing the wave at the Colosseum. I think they would think that was lame.

I wonder what that says about the history of civilization and the direction we are evolving?

Or is it that the more violent the spectator sport the less likely that you will see the wave?

I have never seen the wave at a UFC or Boxing match.

Do they do the wave at wrestling matches?

I would have to assume that some carry over takes place between the people who watch boxing and the people who watch football so why no wave in some places?

Not that I am complaining. Just think it is interesting.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Pop Goes The Weasel

"Usually we don't let people go this long so if you start to feel your skin tightening or get really hot just press the stop button."

About three minutes into my tanning session I start to have these horrible thoughts.

I imagine my cock is going to burst open like a brat on the grill. Leaking its juices all over the standing-up tanning machine floor.

It is a disturbing image.

I try to calm myself down by remembering that we ran around naked in the sun for millions of years and that I probably had some genetic mutation that would not allow this to happen.

But I do feel warm.

"What was that noise?"

I am starting to hyperventilate cause I can't find the shut off button, my dick is going to blow up and I can't breathe.

I finally found the shut off button and stepped out of the machine and just started laughing. What an

I did get back in and finish as soon as I caught my breath.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

What Do You Really Lose When You Snooze?

Now if you snooze you lose or at least who ever coined this phase would lead you to believe, but lose what?

The first thing that comes to mind is time awake but then that is not necessarily true. Perhaps the person who hits snooze was up later then the person who didn't hit snooze so the awake time is actually on par.

Is it income? Do people who hit snooze make less money? A quick survey involving seven people I know would suggest not, I know that is not a suffient sample size and the fact that they all know me definitely taints the results.

But what if people who hit snooze are more relaxed? beat to their own drum, follow their own schedule, have less heart attacks are more creative, feel more fulfilled?

What do you actually lose? Where is the study?

If this where true then since I would have hit snooze for the last twenty years my loss should be rather significant yet when compared to a non snoozer but I have yet to see the data to support this so if I may I would like to revise this saying to the following....

If you snooze you might lose

If you don't snooze you might lose.

No matter when you wake up you might lose.

No matter when you wake up you might win.

Now I am going back to bed....

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Side Effects of Health

#1) Night terrors.

One of my most famous attributes is that I can fall asleep any where at any time in about 30 seconds. I sleep like a log and snore like someone cutting it.

One thing I have found though is that you can always tell how dependant you are on something by how it effects your sleep when you give it up and I have been having horrible dreams lately so that is not a good sign.

#2) I could put out a fire with wind or water.

Part of the detox is that you drink about 100 gallons of water a day and then eat a ton of stuff that cleans out your liver like broccoli, cabbage, b. sprouts, garlic ect.When you are in my world it is good to do this periodically if not regularly eat these foods.

So with all of the working out and eating right I am healthier then ever but I am farting and peeing all the time and I am afraid to go to bed.

So I am basically feel like I am wearing my life inside out.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Watched Wall-E. I thought it was fantastic :)


Read: Waiting for Snow in Havana: Confessions of a Cuban Boy by Carlos Eire. I enjoy reading biographies of people who are not famous people who were average people in an extraordinary time or circumstance. Like this coming of age story during the rise of Castro in Cuba. I thought it was a good read.

Formal Dinner and Reception @ The Hilton.

I clean up nice huh?


Watched Pineapple Express Funny as hell I was cracking

5-8 Club for a little hang over food.


Today I am going to Type @ least 12 pages on a paper I have been neglecting

Probably clean a little bit and work out:)

Friday, January 16, 2009

Grounded with Roots

People like to use the expression grounded or rooted. They picture trees with deep roots that resist being uprooted. They are practical, logical, strong and nourishing, family and community oriented, change resistant.

People like roots....

People like to be grounded...

But for some reason when ever I hear those terms instead of a tree I think of a toupee.

Which is hair with out roots.

Someone resistant to change.

It is something that deceives you into believing it has roots.

Something used to conceal something else.

It is an imitation of something with roots.

And if you are walking around with your head in the clouds it just makes more sense to make sure your hair is securely attached then it does to picture yourself with long lumbering roots digging under the soil.

I don't really know where I am going with this but it just seems like this whole grounded thing needs a make over or a direct challenge....and that it is probably going to start with hair club for men.

I just don't understand why is holding fast to values even if they are out dated or down right wrong the gold standard of morals?

It just seems to me that the image of something that just grows where it falls and never moves, never changes is just as evil as someone who is constantly on the go.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

What Happened to the Six Pack of Cans

The six pack of soda cans has been replaced by a six pack of plastic soda bottles.

I find this sad for several reasons.

1.) I hate the taste of drinking out of plastic bottles.
2.) Can stay cooler longer.
3.) You get money for them when you turn them in.
4.) Six pack takes up the right amount of space in the fridge.
5.) Plastic doesn't recycle as well as aluminum.
6.) A six pack is a treat a twelve pack is a way of life.

For what it is worth my preferred hierarchy of drinking vessels is as follows

1.) Glass
2.) Can
3.) Plastic

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Ice Ice Baby

I have a mild form of OCD. I have a hard time relaxing when things are messy. So I do a few things everyday when I get home. I vacuum, I wipe down all the kitchen counters, clean the kitty box, do any laundry that is hanging out and pick up what ever is left out. Ok I am a little crazy... But none of this has threatened to rip apart my very existence like the one I am about to discuss below....

I am an ice addict.

I compulsively make ice.

I have an unsubstantiated fear that I will run out of ice.

I like the sound of ice in a glass.

I like the sound of ice popping out of the trays.

I live five minutes from work so I often go home for lunch and besides eat....I make ice.

When I get home from work I make ice.

Before I go to bed I make ice.

This was never a problem when I was also using a fair amount of ice or having people over who were helping me use ice.

But now my freezer is full of ice.

Pretty soon I won't even be able to get a frozen pizza in there.

I think I need to have a party just to get rid of all this stupid ice...yikes.

Really I think I just need a drink;)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Alexandros of Antioch in the era of Perez and E!

Venus de Milo

As far as I am concerned this is one of the greatest pieces of art ever is absolutely beautiful.

Does the artist personal life or perspective and intent matter?

What if the statue wasn't supposed to have arms? What if the purpose was a satire of the gods or an ancient attempt to objectify women? What if it is a statement about women being helpless in a male dominated world?

Would it make it any less beautiful?

Would it subtract the craftsmanship and ability of the artist? Would the mastery be called into question if the artist had bad credit? or got a DUI on his chariot one night? Was facing foreclosure?

A commentators entire job is to pass value judgments and shape how you see an event. They exist to make up your mind for you..

You begin to see the world through their eyes.

They taint the masterpiece of life.

They are the poop colored glasses you see the world with.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Weekend ReCap


Day 9 120*10

Watched: Greenfingers could have swore this was a lifetime movie of the week but hey I dig Clive Owens so I thought I would give it a chance. Sometimes when you roll the dice you lose.


Celebrated the completion of my first cycle of 120*10

Celebrated -
* Went tanning (One of the best birthday gifts ever, who doesn't feel better when they are tan?)

* Hair cut. (Who doesn't feel better when they get their hair cut?)

* Fitted for a Tux. (Formal party coming up next weekend)

Read: Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell. This book rocked it was the first one of his works that I actually liked. I would definitely check it out.

Went to Vinas for dinner.

Went to Tailgate and in the course of full disclosure while I didn't smoke I did enjoy a rather nice Gimlet and a Jack and Coke.


Day 11 120*10

Went Tanning.

Did home work.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Eternity and the Modern Perception of Time

"Imagine all of the oceans, seas and lakes are filled with sand and every thousand years a bird removes one grain of sand and flies always with it. When all of the seas, lakes and oceans are empty you still would have only filled an insignificant unnoticeable amount of time in eternity."

--Thomas Aquinas

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Remembered - Blog Worth Meter - 1.5

"If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing."

--Ben Franklin (Attributed)

Friday, January 09, 2009

Ockham's razor and Homeland Security

There is a fable that I am fond of about Americans spending billions of dollars to create a pen that would write in the zero gravity of space, while the Russians simply brought a pencil. While this is just a fable I like what it says about being practical. Solving the problem at hand with the simplest solution in the most effective manner possible.

I the wake of 9-11 we found ourselves transformed. Billions of dollars poured into airport security to make sure no one would ever be able to hijack a plane and crash it into another building. We bought new scanners, made TSA a common household term, created all sorts of rules and restrictions on what people could travel with, wasted billions of dollars in productivity standing in line.

People forget we actually already had metal detectors, police dogs etc.

This is evident that this hijackers didn't take over the plans with guns because they couldn't get those on the plane, they used box cutters.

This is billions of additional security.

This is a Ockham's razor test.

This is America's real version of the pen in space theory.

What did other countries do? What should we have done?

The answer: Build thicker doors that lock from the inside cock pit

Day 9 :)

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Coup de Grace

When I was younger I was driving to work one afternoon whene a little squirrel decided to play chicken with my car and lost...well almost lost...

I looked in my rear view mirror and saw it flopping around in the street. I pulled over and after a brief assessment of what I had on hand to end its life, I made my way over to the squirrel with my car jack.

I remember standing over it's squirming, erratic body and closing my eyes. I raised the jack and I said a little prayer that if I was not meant to kill this creature god will move it before the blow strikes it. (I was young and still had god delusions)

I never saw it hit the squirrel because I didn't open my eyes until I was walking back to my car, but I know I hit it because I felt it.

I remember driving away and I was mad at myself for praying before I did it and not having my eyes open. I shifted the blame for what I was about to do to a boogie man to easy my burden of guilt.

Never again

For the record I believe in the coup de grace and not just cause it is a cool term.

But I think I am in the minorty ...

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Investment Tip: Sink All of Your Money into Forever Stamps

Over the last 5 years the price of stamps has increased 10% making this one of the best performing investments in the entire marketplace. Beating T-bills in safety and value or any major indices over the same period. I suggest immediately cashing in your piggy bank and heading down to the post office and buying as many rolls of forever stamps as you can.

In 50 years when you are selling your 42 cent stamps for $8000.00 I hope you will send me a thank-you card.

That is if the post office is still there.

Or America for that matter.

I guess nothing is forever..

Not even stamps.

Day 7

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Boredom is Extinction

What if the dinosaurs just got really bored and all committed suicide? After all they were here for millions of years. Maybe they were just so tired of chasing for food or having family members getting eaten ect they actually jumped into those tar pits or off the sides of mountains? I mean a million years is a long time to do the same boring shit over and over again.

Day 6 Without Vodka or Smokes

Monday, January 05, 2009

Weekend ReCap

*Technically this was last weekends review but apparently I messed up on the publish dates and this went out as year ago or something, but I figure why not do it here again. The reason I do these is to track a few of my goals like books and movies read since I do most of those on the weekends. That and I think how people spend their free time says a lot about them - like I am a lazy escapist.


Power 120 * 10 Day Two (I will explain this one in time)

Watched: Burn After Reading - This was a good movie:)


In a depressing but inspiring turn of events I decided to watch the Bucket List and Read: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. I think it was right mood, right time, right book and movie. I burned through them and just took a while to absorb them and think about a few aspects of my life I need to realign. Good start to the new year for a different look at the frame work of life and an internal self check at the sand in my hour glass.

Power 120* 10 Day Three


Power 120 * 10 Day Four

Made a fire, cleaned out drawers, boxed up old books, tossed out old magazines, worked on my paper for school.

Watched Towelhead - It was an interesting thought provoking movie

Friday, January 02, 2009

Bubbler aka Drinking Fountain

When I make\win a million dollars my first piece of purchased extravagance might be a drinking fountain that dispenses vodka and my mixer of choice. This way I can regulate the temperature and stop making ice and washing dishes.

Thursday, January 01, 2009