Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Hot Seat

Is a heated toilet seat really a good idea? Do I really want to pay extra money to have the enjoyable sensation of sitting my bottom down to that all to creepy feel of someone just left cause it is still warm feeling? This is one of the reasons I go home on lunch to pinch loafs or if you grew up in my house to do "paper work" or "make an appointment."

I will take a cold seat any day.

In addition here are eleven things I thought about while I was pooping this morning.

1.) I should really clean the floor in here.
2.) Will pushing harder really lead to hemorrhoids?
3.) Have I read that bottle yet?
4.) oh yeah this is going to be a nice long one...*chuckles to self*
5.) If there is the right proportion of dark matter can the universe actually contract and reverse its expanding back to its origin and if this happens will it reverse time and we will all live again in reverse?
6.) If I understood WIMP's could I transport myself through walls?
7.) I have read this bottle, I knew it!
8.) I wish you were bigger.
9.) You need a shave.
10.) Why do my legs fall asleep in here am I doing something wrong?
11.) Bunch or fold?


Rocketstar said...

Heated toilet seat...

Personally, I am not a "reading pooper", I prefer to get in and get out as soon as I can. I would not pay for a heated toilet seat.

2). Yes it will, unless you push with your lower abdominal muscles, not your pooper.
3). I have done bottle reading, unfortunately.
5) Unknowable at this point.
6) huh?
10) Yes, you need to "pack your poop" more. Don't go at the first feeling, wait a little bit and let it pack in there, this will shorten the pooping process.
11) depends, but usually bunch as it creates more distance between you and the bacteria.

A new bok idea, "Pooping".

I just learned that you have two sphincter's. The one you see and one about 3 to 4 inches inside. You can not control the inner sphincter. So you know when you have the runs, that's when the inner one has opened up and filled the space between the two. See movie Train Spotting.

dawnmarie said...

you are so strange. Both of you.

Brian in Mpls said...

I have been reading about these alot lately here is a good article in that direction.....Stole all of the below.

One of the great mysteries in physics why 90 percent of the universe's mass appears to be invisible came one step closer to resolution last week.

A new sensor system that can pinpoint the presence of a theorized form of "dark matter" known as "WIMPs" (Weakly Interacting Massive Particles) has released its first findings though the results seem to raise as many questions as they answer.