Thursday, December 25, 2008

So This Is Christmas...

Question: Why did you give presents to people you loved today? As opposed to some other time throughout the year. I assume you thought they were special and lovely on days other then today. So why presents? Why today?

Hopefully everybody did their civic duty and purchased enough presents to insure that Limited Brands, Target, and Wal-Mart won't disappoint analysts earnings expectations too much.

Department Store: Man filing out a tag on a present he is having gift wrapped.

Brian in Mpls: Don't you think it is kind of funny you sign presents from Santa instead of from Jesus? I mean aren't you celebrating his birthday by passing out presents that are supposed to represent offerings in his name to your loved ones? What's with Santa getting all the credit? I wonder if Christ feels gypped at this arrangement? I mean you die and people celebrate your birthday by getting everyone but you a present in someone elses name.

Religious Person: *Shocked expression*

Brian in Mpls: I suppose though it might be traumatic for the kids to have little blood trails from the stigmata wounds leading from the Chimney to the tree instead of the cute little elf and reindeer prints you can get at Michaels.

Religious Person: *Shocked expression*

Brian in Mpls: Sooo...What's Jesus going to get you for Christmas?

Religious Person: Eternal salvation.

Brian in Mpls: Technically that's his Easter present to you but I am willing to work with ya on this...So what did you get Jesus for his birthday?

Religious Person: (Pause) I don't think you understand Christmas. *Said as he is walking away*

Brian in Mpls: I guess not..


Purest Green said...

Fantastic! Go, Brian, go!

Ma said...

Do you really do this stuff or just think about it and blog it like it really happened..... either way I love the way you think sometimes :) And if you really do it I congratulate you for having the balls to push the limits and if you're just putting up a blog front I encourage you to don't just stop at the keyboard with your brainwaves - hehe

Ma said...
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Thomas said...

I say "Down with Santa". It is not Godly to worship two immortals at once.

Kristi said...

These are the posts that made me fall in love with you.