Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Hablas Espanol?

Over the last few years I have taught myself Spanish by reading the back of every label that is within arms reach of the toilet.

I tend to amaze the hell out of my friends when I show this off this bi-lingual skill, but little do they know I am merely saying, "to clean your hair apply a small amount of product then lather rinse repeat".

When asked why don't you understand when someone is speaking Spanish to you, I simply answer their regional accent is too thick to understand...this seems to appease people, make you look well traveled (you can even name a fake place where they must be from to really impress someone) and it makes you look super smart.

On a related side note the only thing that Pantine Pro V seems to think our Spanish speaking friends need to know is that their product is distributed by Proctor and Gamble. I am torn between whether this is just mean or if it is because Spanish speaking people are smarter at washing their hair then English speaking people.


Mags said...

It's a conspiracy, actually. The ingredients in Pro V are very bad for you. The Spanish people of the world know this. Why? Because they produce it.

And therefore, no sane Spanish person would ever buy Pro V. So they don't need to put directions on the back of the bottles.

Actually-I just made that up. I have no idea.

Thomas said...

I never read product labels when I'm on the toilet (it's usually either Entertainment Weekly, Time, or the directions to my wife's "massager").

the108 said...

Two of my brothers and a sister in law work at Procter and Gamble as it is based in my hometown of Cincinnati. I hate Pantene.

I am impressed, deeply, with your abilities learning the spanish language from your hygeine products. It's another one of those interesting things about you that makes me think you're awesome.

Oh, yeah... yes, you can use your poem :-)

Mags said...

Thomas, I'm not sure Dori would appreciate you having her "massager" near you when you are sitting on the toilet.

You aren't supposed to involve the 2 holes. Bacteria, don't ya know?

Thomas said...

Mags, you're talking so "explicitly" today. Wah-wah-wee-wah!

Little Sis said...

I read the French parts. Ha ha ha..

Rocketstar said...

The second one. I also read labels on the pot as I'm not an official pot reader.